1. Hitchhiked across the continental U.S. twice and up and down the west coast from Oregon>alaska>Arizona>oregon
2. Tried to light a cigarette while stoned off the kitchen sink faucet
3. Masturbated while on the phone with customer service reps
4. Tried to stop smoking pot and failed
5. Was homeless for 6 months
6. Ate earthworm pancakes
7. Cut off 8 years of dreadlocks so that I could get a job that I only kept for 5 weeks
8. Wiped my a$$ with slices of whitebread after secretly s**tting in public.
9. Cried while watching Monsters Inc.
10. fell thirty feet from a building, landed flat on my back, and walked away
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