Music Banter - View Single Post - Why Friends Don't Support Friends
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Old 11-12-2010, 11:16 AM   #9 (permalink)
The Fascinating Turnip
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 504

Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
At first, knowing Vanilla even as little as I do, I thought she meant butts and boobs. But now I think she means bitches and brews!

I think you are right that we're sometimes more fascinated with people we don't know well. Also, it may be that when you know a creative person well, you may get to see the slow process of creating, the wrong notes, the weird chords, rather than just the slick end result. So, it is easier not to be in awe of their creations.

I think a big factor may just be the influence of peer pressure, a group mentality: if you hear that someone else appreciates someone (an artist, a movie-maker), then you may be more likely to appreciate the art than if it were being created by an unknown, Joe Blow, who lives right next to you and scratches his rump as he takes out the trash.

In other words, fame makes a person even more famous, which makes her or him more famous still as people are affected by other people's appreciation of the artist.

A perfect example of this is when some great violinist plays in a subway after having just performed in a huge theater for which tickets were extravagantly expensive. Do people stop and appreciate his skill? Do they give him quarters? No. They walk by one of the best violinists in the world, completely ignoring him and not really appreciating the music (apparently).

Here's the video of Joshua Bell not being noticed as he performs in a D.C. subway. He was ignored except by one person who recognized him:

I am not sure if it is universally true that friends aren't supportive, though. But I can think of one other reason friends may not be as supportive or appreciative of your creative endeavors. They really may just dislike what you are creating. And I do think people may be more likely to be critical of something...or someone...they know well.

For example, my parents are, well, shall I say, "underwhelmed" by anything musical that I do. My dad says my music is abominable. He can hardly stand to listen to it without deriding the distorted guitar. My mom says my lyrics are nice but I should "consult with someone" to make the music "prettier."

So, I have to accept that my parents and I have different tastes and they will never be my #1 fans! In a way this is good, though, because I have had to ask myself why I want their approval and support anyway. It is probably healthier for me if I don't wish for their support, because then I take responsibility for whether I like what I do or not regardless what any other person in the world thinks.

I disagree with Janszoon that people often appreciate art more when it is separated from the artist. If I like some art, I like to try to figure out more about the person who made it so that I can link the art back to the artist and realize they are one.
But then you won't be searching for a human being, like your friends and neighbours. You'll be delving into the world of a mythical entity of some sort, something above all that's human.
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