I didn't really think through the whole "starting a journal" thing too much and the only feedback I've gotten is from a spambot so I'm just gonna assume that everything I've written so far is kinda d
ick. I'm sorry. I'm not really sure what direction this journal is going to take. I promise you I won't do
this but that's all I can say for sure.
I do have an idea though. 9 albums that have been condemned as terrible by one group or another but I'm still curious about...why not download them and see if they really suck that much? I haven't read Dante's Inferno because some person who is probably a juggalo stole it from the public library.
Information on the 9 circles of hell will be obtained by wikipedia.
TUMOR DOWNLOADS THE 9 CIRCLES OF HELL
Pushing a rock that is twice my bodyweight up a mountain made of broken glass and congelated vomit, only to get to the top and have Satan laugh at me and push me all the way down the mountain again.
On my second try at pushing the rock up the hill, I give up and stop trying. I push the rock back down the hill and watch it hit the ground. I beat hell. I have won. I scream. "F
UCK YOU SATAN. I'VE BEATEN YOU." I smile and giggle and congradulate myself. Satan starts laughing with me. This is the first voice other then my own that I've heard in such a long time. Its absolutely horrible. I stop laughing and look down. My legs are on fire.....my legs. Why my legs? I love my legs. I love running. I love walking. I love feeling my calf muscles move up and down. I loved the way they looked. Even in Hell, you are not above vanity. My head has been shaved and I haven't been able to look into a mirror and see my face for whats felt like a thousand years but I can look down and see my legs peeking out of the rags that I've been given to wear and feel a burst of happiness. Although the hair on my legs has grown long and icky, my legs were still one of the few things I clung to that made me happy. And now they are on fire. Burning. I try to roll around and put the fire out but I just end up rolling down the hill. I feel my flesh being singed as the shards of glass poke me. The fire moves up my body pretty quickly...my legs...my genitals....my torso....my arms....my neck....my face....Oh god. My face is on fire and I can't close my eyes so I feel them being singed but they don't lose their function and I have to watch as my body (oh god, my beautiful body) disintegrates into ashes.
I scream again, louder then I've ever screamed before. "I GIVE UP." I yell. "I SUBMIT. PLEASE. PLEASE, I LOVE YOU JESUS. PLEASE."
Satan laughs. Oh my god. This is amazing. I have a body again and I feel a wonderful rush of relief. I feel my legs. My calf muscles. My thighs. I'm beautiful again! I can't even begin to tell you how happy this makes me but I don't know where I am. I can't tell the difference between the world around me when my eyes are open or when my eyes are closed. I try to move around but there's something sharp that digs into my side.
What the fu
ck? Am I in the
chokey?
I guess I'm in the chokey. I have to stay in one spot or I'll get poked by the spikes. I can't eat or drink anything. I can't even dispose of my own waste. I have to
shit and p
iss right where I am and I have to feel it dripping down my leg. I have to smell it decay. I feel myself starving to death. Acid wearing away the lining in my stomach. Muscles atrophy for the sake of my vital organs. I can't bear to touch them anymore. I almost can't move, it hurts too much to use them. I don't to move.....don't want to be reminded that my body is rotting. I'm probably hideous now. I don't know.
My hearing starts to fade. I can't hear myself screaming anymore. I am deaf. Nothing but my thoughts to listen to.
You did this to yourself, the voice in my head says. Its your fault that you're in hell. You sinned so much. You were a horrible person.
I submit. If I could scream, I would be screaming. I submit completely. I am scum. I am worms. I am terrible and I deserve this. Please make it stop. Please please please please. I lose all sense of my identity. In my own mind, I am just s
hit. I've been completely brainwashed.
This is hell. Hell is submitting. Hell is giving up everything that makes you you.
AND I DID IT ALL FOR YOU, MUSICBANTER.
How I'm picking the Albums
- Album must have a rating of 3 or lower on Rate Your music
- Album must be something I am actually interested in listening to. If I just downloaded albums that are considered shit, I'd have a very boring list.
- Album must connect with one of the 9 cycles of hell in some cutesy way
- I must be able to find a torrent for it
- Album must be tolerable for at least 1 listen all the way through. If I can't finish it, I'll tell you. Every Circle of Hell will be something at least worth 40 minutes or so of my (kinda) concentration.