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Old 12-08-2010, 08:13 PM   #146 (permalink)
Sansa Stark
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Eyrie, Vale of Arryn, Westeros
Posts: 3,234
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It doesn't, anymore, really. The only thing I have to do about it now is remember to take my meds forever and eat properly and don't do drugs or alcohol.

I've been diagnosed several different times with it since I was 14/15, and I am nearly 21 now. It started to manifest in its fullness when I was around 19. That was truly awful, I felt like I had no control over myself, like I was living in body only and controlled by impulse. It was like watching your brain make the absolute worst decisions for yourself. When I was around 17, I was put into a mental facility because of my drug abuse (I'm an opiate addict) and put on a med called Abilify. Long story short, it nearly killed me because of side effects I wasn't aware of. A lot of my teenage years were pretty much mistakes made by my inability to maintain a pharmaceutical regimen that didn't include narcotics :P Obviously hindering my brain's ability to function in any normal way and exacerbating the symptoms I had. When I was 19, an ex fiancee basically conned me into getting medicated. I'm thankful for this, though. I eventually tracked my progression of "episodes" per the medical terminology. I did indeed have bipolar one, and was more prone to episodes of mania which include but are not limited to impulsive behavior, promiscuity, spending sprees, irritability, decreased need for sleep and food and such things. I was extremely scared of trying meds again, because the meds after Abilify had made me suicidal. I worked up the courage to admit to myself my first med (Lamictal) worked for me and the only reason I denied that it did was because it affects the seratonin in a way that makes opiates not work. I gave up on that, and ended up ****ing up all over again. I could not control myself at all. I would spend horrible amounts on stupid ****, I was horribly promiscuous...people would tell me that I was terrifying because talking to me, I would switch to happy to irritable to flirtatious very quickly (an obvious manic episode). I ended up abusing drugs again because I believed they'd keep me "level". I ended up in detox for my addiction and now I've been out and drug free and medicated for 5 months. Medication makes it easier to deal with completely. I also take an ADHD/ADD drug as well. The main reason for this is that ADHD/ADD symptoms are very similar to those of bipolar.

The only thing about bipolar people don't realise, is that it makes you have a wonderful creative thinking process. Episodes are ****ing terrible though. I hate it so much when people say they're bipolar for attention. It makes a serious, debilitating illness a ****ing joke with people.
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