The language was very plain and to the point. I felt that there isn't much masking the emotion behind these lines. Personally, I liked that. Even if I usually prefer something with a bit more poetic flourish, it is refreshing to read a piece like this. It's evident that it means something, unlike the "
I wish you could call it pretentious" kind of stuff that you usually see in this sub-forum. As the piece goes on it becomes more abstract in places, which I enjoyed. I will say it seems a bit unfocused, however. There's a lot going on and sometimes it seems to jump to new gripes with little to no transition.
I loved the almost childlike desperation in the line about Canterbury Cream, which is an alcoholic beverage, right?
Quote:
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we are working together; we’re going to be a team.
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It's such a sesame-street like rhyme that's so simple and yet so dark.
So yeah, I did enjoy this.