Latvian Jokes
Three Latvian are brag about sons. "My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want," say first Latvian. "Zo?" second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!" Third Latvian wait long time, then say, "My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over." "Wow! You are win us," say others. But all are feel sad.
Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, "Why so long face?" Latvian say, “I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."
Latvian Nursery rhyme:
one potato, one potato, one potato, no more potato..
soldier eat potato and rape daughter...is end.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please open door. Is cold.
What are one potato say other potato?
Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
Questioning: Why did chicken cross road?
Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents’ farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.
Latvian: Is so cold.
All: How cold is?
Latvian: Very. Also dark.
Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.
Why is Latvian throw clock out window?
Will be no appointments anymore, only endure til death.
Janis: I hope my son does not die during night.
Guntis: What is "hope"?
Janis: Yes. I know what you say.
Guntis: No. I am serious. What is hope?
Janis: In truth, I do not know.
Joke:
Two Latvian look at clouds. One see potato. Other see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.
Latvian walks into a Bar and asks, "You have potato?"
The Barman says, "This is a Bar, why would I have a potato?"
"Ah yes" sighs the Latvian "So few potato now"
Latvian walks into a Bar and asks, "You have potato?"
The Barman says, "This is a Bar, why would I have a potato?"
"Ah yes" sighs the Latvian "So few potato now"
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