The new nun goes to her first confession.
She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret.
The priest then tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.
She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit."
The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious, Sister Bernadette. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar."
****
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.
So he called one of his best angels and sent the angel to Earth for a while.
When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.
Well, he thought for a moment and thought maybe he'd better send down a second angel to get another point of view.
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too.
When the angel returned he went to God and told him "Yes, the Earth is in decline. 95% is bad and 5% is good."
God said this was not good.
So he decided to send e-mail to the 5% that were good. He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what that e-mail said?
Oh, you didn't get one either, huh? Bummer.
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