at the moment, everything made sense. now everything just seems as confusing as before.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

happens to me all the time.

Nirvana?Depends really.The idea of bliss and peace is a good one, but not feasible, and existence is more complicated than that and not homogenous enough for it to happen.

Since I'm not religious, I'd like to think that death would be Nirvana. Infinite peace. Totally feasible.

this kind of reminds me of something i have been thinking about recently. ok...so heaven, nirvana, reincarnation. all of it implies working towards something better than this life to eventually attain eternal bliss.

let's say all this is wrong and atheists are right...you blink out of existence. BUT...if i have found one expression to prove more true than any other time and again it is that ignorance is bliss. so if you blink out of existence and are infinitely ignorant...in fact you know nothing of existence...you don't exist...could that be nirvana?

You have a wonderful sense of life. Also, I would agree with your Nirvana and death comparison. Nirvana is basically the death of the mind. Lower your standards and values to a point where you will have none. You will be happy in your ignorance.

That's pretty much what I was implying.
Except I don't even like to use terms to describe 'you' as a person in death. There could be no identity, no ownership of ignorance.
It would be as peaceful as the day before you were ever conceived in the womb.
That may be a little hard to conceptualize emotionally, but the great thing is you don't have to prepare for it. It will come very naturally to you. You've been there before. (paradoxically speaking)

But if happiness is Nirvana, you haven't let go of emotional bonds at all.

Basically the issue here is the inherent duality involved in values. For instance, I have just entered into a debate with you, against my own conscience, with the intention of having you, and anyone else who reads this post, value my post as being true, and to reshift their value system to say that your post is not necessarily false, but doesn't quite grasp the Buddhist drive behind nirvana. That is, the concept of nirvana says that this is the wrong state of things. We should not be arguing. There is no reason for one of us to be saying things that are wrong and another one of us to be saying things that are right. By entering into this conversation, we are necessarily going to generate suffering. Either one of us is going to realize he was wrong, and either feel stupid or try to cover it up and drag themselves further into a hopeless position, or we'll both just stick to our own positions, feel that we're right, but still feel frustrated that we couldn't get the other to switch over to our side. The idea is, further, that this entire mode of valuation, of seeing certain things as good and others as bad, certain things as right and others as wrong, is in fact a mode of being which we are trapped by because we identify with it. And therefore, letting go of this mode of being seems synonymous to us with death.

And of course, it doesn't make much sense for me to say anything beyond this, because as I said, we are in a debate, and obviously in the mode of valuation. I am trying to construct meaning. The meaning I specifically was trying to construct with this thread was that for a moment, I experienced a different mode of being, one in which everything was free to simply be, and did not have to be good or bad, this or that, a fan of this band, this sexual lifestyle, this religion, this philosophy, this species... Of course, the way I am trying to construct this meaning is entirely impossible. The sort of meaning I am making now is meaning as opposed to meaninglessness--in this other mode, I could be typing gibberish and it would be just as meaningful, for the simple fact that I was typing it. I don't know if this post is useful or if it makes sense, I don't know if I'm helping myself or anyone else. But, in that moment, the only desire I had was to help other conscious beings experience the bliss that I felt. I realized that life did have a meaning, that, because everything is simply consciousness, the entire point of life is to bring all consciousness to its most ecstatic state--which is not its egotistical peak, when it can get all other consciousnesses to recognize how brilliant it is (which I am still implicitly trying to do here) but rather, when it becomes free to let go of this desire, and simply be, simply realize that all its attempts to grasp itself are the result of itself overflowing, beautifully, magnificently. I hope this helps you.