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-   -   Empowering or Degrading? (https://www.musicbanter.com/current-events-philosophy-religion/50860-empowering-degrading.html)

VEGANGELICA 08-04-2010 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo (Post 912629)
Well I take back what I said, there is harm that comes from prostitution pyschologically both for the prostitute and for those close to her. But it's still a career choice both men and women should be allowed to have. I mean stripping is legal. So why the inconsistancy? Why is tiltilation ok but actual sex is bad?

I agree that people, men and women, should be allowed to do with their bodies what they will, including have sex for money. It isn't very different, really, from other reasons people sometimes have sex. My concern with people letting others use them sexually for money is that there is greater chance of the person being physically harmed, compared to when a person takes off her clothes while dancing...which shouldn't physically harm her at all.

Plus, I feel sexuality is something personal enough that I don't want people to be stripped of what *can* be precious and caring by having physical sexual actions turned into a commodity. If no money is being exchanged, then people are free to decide to do what they really want to do sexually without their decision-making affected by other needs or issues.

Quote:

But I'm so glad that you give props to the underrated art of wanking. I get mocked a lot for being a virgin and talking about masturbation more openly than others because it's really all I have to talk about as far as sexual activity.

Generations of teaching children to be ashamed of their bodies and masturbation has had more negative effects in society than positive. Masturbation is great, and I'd imagine it's less complicated than intercourse. People undervalue the importance and power of imagination.

Yeah, people joke all the time about how I need a hooker but really that annoys me when people say that, I'm not THAT desperate. As cliche as it is to say I want my first time to be special, or at least not totally miserable. I think when I finally do pop my cherry the most satisfying part will be the communion involved, being able to satisfy another person, and someone who actually enjoys satisfying me in return, instead of doing it because it's their job and how they earn their living.

And less risk of STDs is also a plus
.
Masturbation IS great, boo boo! :) I feel that masturbation is often much better than sex with someone else because when you masturbate you can do exactly what feels good, and you don't have to worry about people's motivations (because you know you care about yourself)...or diseases...or pregnancy!

Also, I feel that what you said about sex and the communion of it (when there is that element to it) is very true: being able to satisfy someone else, who enjoys satisfying you in turn, is a very nice feeling. It feels lovely when someone wants to make you happy, and vice versa, as its own goal, because they care about you and especially when they love you and you love that person. Mind you...you can have all this, and orgasm, too, with someone, without actual sexual intercourse!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuna (Post 912647)
*Yawnnnnnn*

Cracks me up too how you think guys are just going to give girls money without any motive or reason just because they're needy too.

I feel nice men would help out a woman in desperation (say, extreme poverty with children to feed) rather than have sex with her and pay her a little bit of money for access to her body.

There are lots of nice men in the world who don't use others for their own selfish ends.

mr dave 08-04-2010 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo (Post 912613)
Degrading yes but it should be legal. Why illegalize paying for something that you can get for free legally?

this doesn't make sense.

you don't get a random girl dancing her clothes off for you for free legally whenever you want, even when you're in a relationship. your significant other isn't just a collection of reactions to your actions. just because you can have sex with your partner doesn't mean you can **** them like a pornstar every time you feel like. it just doesn't work that way (it might, but then you'd be dealing with a wicked pile of crazy just waiting to explode on you).

as for the whole angle about documentaries showing 'strong', 'independent' women, how reflective of the industry do you people honestly think that is? really now. a documentary will focus on what, 2-3 women, ignoring the dozens of others in the background... i wonder, are they all up and coming med students just trying to pay their tuition? or are most of them broken little girls trying to come to terms with the abandonment issues from their youths?

i've actually worked for a company that started doing online porn hosting as a side job halfway through my time there. if that sample of 20 some odd girls was any indication of what kind of personalities end up in that situation i'd say you're lucky to find 1 out of 20 who can actually accomplish much of anything on their own. it's not that they're worthless people, not in the least, they deserve help, BUT they need to want it first, and most, are still waiting for the world to say it's sorry.

also, i've never EVER seen the kind of psychological control the queen bee exerted on her girls before or since, even on tv.

i honestly think the people trying to paint this behavior as somehow empowering or healthy are lying to themselves so they can feel better about wanting to participate in something they're able to recognize as destructive and counter productive without having to admit it to themselves. for all the 'empowerment' stripping might provide, it is completely and thoroughly overshadowed by the objectification it creates. to try arguing a social benefit to prostitution aside from a 'potential' decrease in STDs is even laughable.

also male prostitutes don't service female clients. they service other dudes. seriously, how clueless are you?

midnight rain 08-04-2010 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA (Post 912663)
I feel nice men would help out a woman in desperation (say, extreme poverty with children to feed) rather than have sex with her and pay her a little bit of money for access to her body.

There are lots of nice men in the world who don't use others for their own selfish ends.

The point is, as usual you want to blame the man for the women's problems. The women offers the service and yet you're angry at the man for taking her up on the offer?

Nice men don't exist in the sense you're describing and neither do nice women. I don't know of any nice people who actively seek out prostitutes, and then freely give them money to help them get by. Nice fantasy world you're deluding in, though.

Sansa Stark 08-04-2010 08:58 AM

When does she ever blame the man?

Actively nice people who give money to the poor and destitute don't exist, yeah? because there aren't charities devoted to this, and churches definitely don't do this kind of thing?

Your cynicism is very tacky, especially coupled with condescension

midnight rain 08-04-2010 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paloma (Post 912698)
Actively nice people who give money to the poor and destitute don't exist, yeah? because there aren't charities devoted to this, and churches definitely don't do this kind of thing?

This is true, and yet prostitution still exists.

I thought Vegan made it very clear that prostitution was man's fault:
Quote:

Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA (Post 912625)
I do not see prostitution as a form of power that women have over men...although it does show how desperate some men are. I wish they'd just masturbate and not feel they need to have a woman to be "men." I think if there were more higher paying (non-sexual) jobs available, far fewer women would strip or prostitute themselves. So, prostitution at least is usually a sign of a poor economy and a lower status for women in the society.
I would not strip or prostitute myself unless I were starving and found absolutely no other method to survive...which may be the case for many prostitutes in the developing world. Having sex with someone you don't want to have sex with feels horrible...and is often a death sentence for a woman due to HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases in the developing world. I do not wish that for myself or any other woman.

The fact that men *take* from women who are needy intsead of simply helping them (offering financial help without requiring sex in return) is one of the worst things a person can do to another, I feel. It is using someone in the worst way. I could never imagine paying someone else for sex, and the men who do that frankly sicken me.

If that's not blame, then what is it?

Sansa Stark 08-04-2010 09:19 AM

Being that men are the main consumers of prostitutes (male and female) who else would there be to blame? Surely not the victim of their own unfortunate situation? It's their fault that they have to **** to earn anything? If you want to appropriate blame, you really think it should go to the prostitute?

midnight rain 08-04-2010 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paloma (Post 912705)
Being that men are the main consumers of prostitutes (male and female) who else would there be to blame? Surely not the victim of their own unfortunate situation? It's their fault that they have to **** to earn anything? If you want to appropriate blame, you really think it should go to the prostitute?

People should take responsibility for their own lives. I don't see a need to cast blame, it's just the way things are.

I don't know any prostitutes personally, so I can't say if they really made an effort to get a legitimate job or not, they could really be that desperate or they could do it because they're too lazy to find a job or they prefer it to a job at McDonalds.

Now, if they truly can't find a job and have resorted to prostitution to be able to survive, aren't their clients helping them along? How else would they afford food? Yes, I'd love too if they had another way to make a living, but that's simply not always the reality of life. In an ideal world maybe, everybody would have a legitimate job.

Urban Hat€monger ? 08-04-2010 11:01 AM

I don't particularly find it empowering nor degrading.

Everybody has to earn a living somehow and in the real world not everybody will be able to do it in a way that they would like to.

If you can earn as much in one night for lying on your back that would take you a week to earn by serving in McDonalds or cleaning toilets or collecting rubbish then who am I to judge. I'm not the one that has to live with the consequences or the danger.

Any job can make you feel degraded or empowered... Welcome to the real world.

SATCHMO 08-04-2010 11:04 AM

Do they have strippers in England? For some reason the Benny Hill theme music lodges in my head whenever I try to conceive of it.

ribbons 08-04-2010 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuna (Post 912712)
Now, if they truly can't find a job and have resorted to prostitution to be able to survive, aren't their clients helping them along? How else would they afford food? Yes, I'd love too if they had another way to make a living, but that's simply not always the reality of life. In an ideal world maybe, everybody would have a legitimate job.

In this scenario -- prostitution for survival -- no, the clients aren't helping them along. The clients are exploiting them. I agree with Vegangelica's and Paloma's points here that there are men who would choose to help rather take advantage of a woman in such a desperate situation.


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