I was possibly lucky in that most of the people at my church were 'genuine' and sincere believers, and we didn't have too many of these sorts of people attending.

I fell into this group unfortunately. Between worship band (Tue nights and Saturday afternoons/evenings), a student lifegroup (Wednesday for the church group and Friday night for a university meeting), Thursday meetings at church and then the Sunday services (and I usually went to both morning and evening services too), I didn't do too much which wasn't church- or Christian-related.

Eh, I never got involved in this, and certainly not in my church where there was too much politics and striving for hierarchies and positions. It's the reason I quit the worship band (the main bandleaders spent too much time competing against each other and not actually doing anything musical)

there is nothing wrong with going to church that much as long as you weren't forced to do it. which by the sounds of it I think you were and that's why you attempted suicide yes?

Yeah , gossiping and church politics was one of the main factors that turned me away from going to church

Also as I read the bible, I remember a scripture saying to treat your body like a temple. Well if I treat my body like a temple then I should be able to worship and pray where ever my body is. I shouldn't have to go to some man made building to pray and worship God.

I was raised catholic, and got a cupcake everyday in Catholic School from a nun who later turned out to be a lesbian and left the church.

Nowadays I'm not much of anything. I enjoy the idea of being religious, as in that feeling of being connected to all the people who happen to be the same religion you are. But I could care less about the actual religion. I'd just enjoy the company. I also really liked it when we would go to church, and they had Dunkin' Donuts. I'd go to church for free Dunkin' Donuts.

I only started going to church regularly during university, where I was away from my parents and I wished to attend of my own free will.

I tried to commit suicide not because I was forced to attend church, because of more conservative elements in my church, to hide my bisexuality away, and indeed my own personal religiousity meant that there was a huge amount of internal conflict as well as external battles with others in my church group.

I also felt a lot of hostility because I was not content to simply accept what was being taught to me, to simply be spoonfed and recite answers by rote. I asked a lot of questions, did a lot of research and as a result, made a lot of people incresingly angry with me. I also became angry myself because many of my honest questions were being ignored or fluffed by my ministers, fellow worshipers and friends in that church.

In my case, my church lost a minister because of some supposed in-fighting between the two main ministers, and as a result a lot of gossip and taking sides happened, as well as a lot of huddling-in-corners type activity with a lot of whispering behind the scenes between our deacons/elders and yet no-one wanted to tell any of the ordinary everyday members what was happening.

There's also something in the Bible about God being omnipresent....and a part of God being within us.

EDIT: I know with regard to my sexuality, going from Christianity to Orthodox Judaism seems like a really weird step to take, but I feel that, unlike Christianity, the emphasis on the sexual relationship between man and woman being a GOOD thing means that I can at least for the most part be happy, unlike the Christian attitude which seems to see any sexual relation as something impure or shameful.

I'm sorry to hear that but it's great that you are still alive to post on MB and that you found the strength to carry on.


I experienced something like that in the church that my mother used to drag me to and to this day I still don't know what fully happened.


I don't know the views/thoughts on sexual orientation within Judaism but there are some Christian denominations that accept all orientations. Catholic is not one of them.

my suicide attempt was mostly due to me falling in love with one of the younger pastors (a girl) and she didn't want me - I was knee-deep in wallowing in rejection and prayed that she would see me for who I am, in the end, I heard a lot of Satanic voices in my head, and I headed to a nearby lake near my house to attempt drowning

so, uh, no thx

That sounds schizophrenic. Are you okay now? do you still hear voices from time to time?

I think I already mentioned in some of my posts that I AM schizophrenic. So being a fanatical Christian didn't help much.

I don't hear voices much - just paranoid delusions about being a secret cop like the KGB, having telepathic powers, gangsta houngans putting voodoo spells on me, people on the street all know about me and talk about me openly

if untreated, it'll escalate to the point where I think I'm the Second Coming, also the reincarnation of Buddha and Vishnu

if still untreated, I think I'm God and develop a second personality, where my conscious mind doesn't know what the other personality did (I threw away a lot of "Satanic" CDs unconsciously)

I'm under heavy meds - an anti-psychotic, an anti-depressant, a sedative, a mood stabiliser

good grief. I'm diagnosed with the same condition but I'm too paranoid to take pills so I'm not on any of them. I hear voices from time to time but I never listen to them so it doesn't get to the point where I would act on what they say. I use my mp3 player to drown out the voices when I go out in public so I always have my Zune with me! always!

you should take something atypical like me (Olanzapine), and not a zombiefying anti-psyche like Haliperidol or Modicate

it would help with the voices

I feel fine with it all the time, though my temper is a bit too mild for my liking

I'm changing meds to a periperitone jab soon