Parables & Fables
 

I enjoy a good parable. And I enjoy a good fable.

If you know any, please share them here. Native American, Chinese, Indian, Japanese, doesn't matter.

Here are some I like.



The 84th Problem

Once a man sought the Buddha for help with his life's problems. When the man found the Buddha he presented one of his problems and waited for the Buddha's solution. Much to his surprise, the Buddha simply replied that he cannot help the man with that problem.

The man tried a second problem and was given the same reply by the Buddha. And again to his third problem.
Growing impatient the man spoke, "How can you be the Buddha, the perfectly Enlightened One, and not be able to help me with my problems?"

The Buddha replied, "You will always have 83 problems in your life. Some will go, others will come to replace them. I cannot help you with those."

The man was even more frustrated and confused, he asked the Buddha, "Then what can you help me with?"

The Buddha replied, "I can help you with your 84th problem."

The man, who was growing weary, asked, "What is my 84th problem?"

With great wisdom the Buddha said, "That you want to get rid of your 83 problems."





The Gates of Paradise

A soldier named Nobushige came to Zen Master Hakuin, and asked: "Is there really a paradise and a hell?"
"Who are you?" inquired Hakuin.
"I am a samurai," the warrior replied.
"You, a soldier!" exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar."
Nobushige became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued: "So you have a sword ! Your weapon is probably much too dull to cut off my head."
As Nobushige drew his sword Hakuin remarked: "Here open the gates of hell!"
At these words the samurai, perceiving the master's discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.
"Here open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin.



Who is Buddha?

Disciple: “Who is Buddha?”

Master: “Who is asking?”




True Nature

A monk asked Master Ts'ui-wei about the meaning of Buddhism.
Ts'ui-wei answered: "Wait until there is no one around, and I will tell you."
Some time later the monk approached Ts'ui-wei again, saying, "There is nobody here now. Please answer me."
Ts'ui-wei led him out into the garden and went over to the bamboo grove, saying nothing.
Still the monk did not understand.
At last Ts'ui-wei said, "Look, here is a tall bamboo; there is a short one!"



Zen Parable

A Zen Master who, out walking one day, is confronted by a ferocious, man-eating tiger. He slowly backs away from the animal, only to find that he is trapped at the edge of a high cliff; the tiger snarls with hunger, and pursues the Master. His only hope of escape is to suspend himself over the abyss by holding onto a vine that grows at its edge. As the Master dangles from the cliff, two mice – one white and one black – begin to gnaw on the vine he is clutching on. If he climbs back up, the tiger will surely devour him, if he stays then there is the certain death of a long fall onto the jagged rocks. The slender vine begins to give way, and death is imminent. Just then the precariously suspended Zen Master notices a lovely ripe wild strawberry growing along the cliff’s edge. He plucks the succulent berry and pops it into his mouth. He is heard to say: “This lovely strawberry, how sweet it tastes.”



A Very Old Zen Koan

There’s a man way high up in a tree and he’s hanging from a branch by his teeth. And of course if he lets go he’ll fall to his death, and so he’s in quite a predicament, and his hands are tied behind him so he can’t reach up and grab the branch. And so just imagine there you are, holding onto a branch way high up in a tree by your teeth, and you’re weakening and you can feel your impending death coming because you’re just about to have to let go of this branch. And just about that time some little Zen master walks in, walks in the scene, looks up at you and says ‘Say the one true thing that can save your life'.





Time To Learn

A young but earnest Zen student approached his teacher, and asked the Zen Master:
"If I work very hard and diligent how long will it take for me to find Zen."
The Master thought about this, then replied, "Ten years."
The student then said, "But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast -- How long then ?"
Replied the Master, "Well, twenty years."



Obsessed

Two traveling monks reached a river where they met a young woman. Wary of the current, she asked if they could carry her across. One of the monks hesitated, but the other quickly picked her up onto his shoulders, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other bank. She thanked him and departed.

As the monks continued on their way, the one was brooding and preoccupied. Unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. "Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women, but you picked that one up on your shoulders and carried her!"

"Brother," the second monk replied, "I set her down on the other side, why are you are still carrying her?"




The Taoist Farmer

An old farmer worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.

"Maybe," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.

"Maybe," replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.

"Maybe," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

"Maybe," said the farmer.




Ritual Cat

When the spiritual teacher and his disciples began their evening meditation, a cat who lived in the monastery made such noise that it distracted them. One day the teacher ordered that the cat be tied up during the evening practice.

Years later, when the teacher died, the cat continued to be tied up during the meditation session. And when the cat eventually died, another cat was brought to the monastery and tied up. Centuries later, learned descendants of the spiritual teacher wrote scholarly treatises about the religious significance of tying up a cat for meditation practice.

Sioux Creation Story

Long ago the Creator gathered all of Creation and said, "I want to hide something from the humans until they are ready for it. It is the realization that they create their own reality."

The eagle said, "Give it to me, I will take it atop the highest mountain."

The Creator said, "No. One day they will go there and find it."

The salmon said, "I will bury it on the bottom of the ocean."

"No. They will go there too."

The buffalo said, "I will bury it on the Great Plains."

The Creator said, "They will cut into the skin of the Earth and find it even there."

Grandmother Mole, who lives in the breast of Mother Earth, and who has no physical eyes but sees with spiritual eyes, said, "Put it inside of them."

And the Creator said, "It is done".

It Will Pass

A student went to his meditation teacher and said, “My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I’m constantly falling asleep. It’s just horrible!”

“It will pass,” the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. “My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It’s just wonderful!’

“It will pass,” the teacher replied matter-of-factly.




Moving Mind

Two men were arguing about a flag flapping in the wind.
“It’s the wind that is really moving,” stated the first one.
“No, it is the flag that is moving,” contended the second.
A Zen master, who happened to be walking by, overheard the debate and interrupted them.
“Neither the flag nor the wind is moving,” he said, “It is MIND that moves.”




The Other Side

One day a young Buddhist on his journey home came to the banks of a wide river. Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him, he pondered for hours on just how to cross such a wide barrier.
Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey he saw a great teacher on the other side of the river.
The young Buddhist yells over to the teacher, “Oh wise one, can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river”?
The teacher ponders for a moment looks up and down the river and yells back, “My son, you are on the other side”.




A Cup of Tea

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.
Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring.
The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!”
“Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”




Dream of a Butterfly

The great Taoist master Chuang Tzu once dreamt that he was a butterfly fluttering here and there. In the dream he had no awareness of his individuality as a person. He was only a butterfly. Suddenly, he awoke and found himself laying there, a person once again. But then he thought to himself, “Was I before a man who dreamt about being a butterfly, or am I now a butterfly who dreams about being a man?”




Just Two Words

There once was a monastery that was very strict. Following a vow of silence, no one was allowed to speak at all. But there was one exception to this rule. Every ten years, the monks were permitted to speak just two words. After spending his first ten years at the monastery, one monk went to the head monk. “It has been ten years,” said the head monk. “What are the two words you would like to speak?”

“Bed… hard…” said the monk.

“I see,” replied the head monk.

Ten years later, the monk returned to the head monk’s office. “It has been ten more years,” said the head monk. “What are the two words you would like to speak?”

“Food… stinks…” said the monk.

“I see,” replied the head monk.

Yet another ten years passed and the monk once again met with the head monk who asked, “What are your two words now, after these ten years?”

“I… quit!” said the monk.

“Well, I can see why,” replied the head monk. “All you ever do is complain.”




The Stone Cutter

There was once a stone cutter who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life.

One day he passed a wealthy merchant’s house. Through the open gateway, he saw many fine possessions and important visitors. “How powerful that merchant must be!” thought the stone cutter. He became very envious and wished that he could be like the merchant.

To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever imagined, but envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. Soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. “How powerful that official is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be a high official!”

Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around. It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. “How powerful the sun is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be the sun!”

Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. “How powerful that storm cloud is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be a cloud!”

Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. “How powerful it is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be the wind!”

Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, feared and hated by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it – a huge, towering rock. “How powerful that rock is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be a rock!”

Then he became the rock, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the hard surface, and felt himself being changed. “What could be more powerful than I, the rock?” he thought.

He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stone cutter.

Meditation

A student goes to his Master and tells him, "I'm getting really bored with just feeling my breath coming in and going out all the time. Don't you have a meditation that is more exciting?"

The Zen Master replied, "Yes. You are now ready for a greater teaching. Follow me."

With that, the Master led the student into a courtyard where there was a large barrel of water.

"Gaze into the barrel," said the Master.

As the student leaned over and looked in, the Zen Master suddenly pushed the student's head into the water and held it there for some time with the student struggling desperately.

Finally, the Master let the student come up for air, and as the student gasped, the Master asked, "So... is that breath boring?"

Some good ones in there. I was reading them in the waiting room the other day. Tx

The Stone Mind

Hogen, a Chinese Zen teacher, lived alone in a small temple in the country. One day four traveling monks appeared and asked if they might make a fire in his yard to warm themselves.

While they were building the fire, Hogen heard them arguing about subjectivity and objectivity. He joined them and said: “There is a big stone. Do you consider it to be inside or outside your mind?”

One of the monks replied: “From the Buddhist viewpoint everything is an objectification of mind, so I would say that the stone is inside my mind.”

“Your head must feel very heavy,” observed Hogen, “if you are carrying around a stone like that in your mind.”




Finger Pointing to the Moon

The nun Wu Jincang asked the Sixth Patriach Huineng, "I have studied the Mahaparinirvana sutra for many years, yet there are many areas i do not quite understand. Please enlighten me."

The patriach responded, "I am illiterate. Please read out the characters to me and perhaps I will be able to explain the meaning."

Said the nun, "If you cannot even recognize the characters how are you able then to understand the meaning?"

"Truth has nothing to do with words. Truth can be likened to the bright moon in the sky. Words, in this case, can be likened to a finger. The finger can point to the moon’s location. However, the finger is not the moon. To look at the moon, it is necessary to gaze beyond the finger."




The Search for Enlightenment

There once was a poor man who lead a donkey every day across the border from one kingdom to another. The border guards suspected that he was smuggling something, so each day as the man passed the border they carefully searched the man and the donkey’s saddlebags, but they never did find anything.

After a while the man starts to wear more expensive clothing and buys a large house. The border guards redouble their efforts to inspect the man and his donkey closely because they now are certain the man is smuggling something. But in their daily searches of the man and the saddlebags they never come up with anything but straw.

After 30 years of this daily routine, one of the border guards retires. One day when the retired border guard is walking across the street, he runs into the man and says "Listen, I am no longer a border guard and I can no longer hurt you. I promise I will never tell anyone, but just for my peace of mind, please tell me what you have been smuggling all those years."

The man replies "Because I know that you can no longer arrest me, I will tell you. I was smuggling donkeys."

Guess I should have read all of Mister Charlie's ones before I posted. I see he had this one already. Okay then try this one:
An old woman was walking along a village road when she chanced to encounter a demon. "Oh wise Sir Demon!" she implored, falling down at his knees. "I am old and infirm, and the world holds no joy for me. If it is within your power, would you make me young again?"

The demon considered, a playful smile crossing his lips. At length, he grinned. "That I cannot do," said he, "But I can ensure you grow no older!"

And he struck the woman dead.

Sorry, it's all I got at the moment.

Yes, I realised, and I deleted that entry, thanks for reposting it. I should really read these threads all the way through before posting... :banghead:

Actually, mine makes more sense really. But whatever.

I for one am pleased Oriphiel quoted it as I'd have missed it otherwise and I enjoy seeing variations on the same theme.
In some ways I prefer the one you posted, it's succinct.

What I like about it is the line about wanting to be like God. Really makes it. Your one about the two words every ten years was bloody hilarious. I assume that was a joke and not a real tale?

Two college professors were visiting a Zen Master in the mountains. One day whilst walking in the woods, they heard a beautiful chirping coming the trees above. "What bird is that?", asked the first professor, turning to the master. "And why is it chirping like that?" enquired the second professor.
"It sounds beautiful", replied the master.

George Mantor had an iris garden, which he improved each year by throwing out the commoner varieties. One day his attention was called to another very fine iris garden. Jealously he made some inquiries. The garden, it turned out, belonged to the man who collected his garbage.

Haha. I like it.

A Zen Master was walking in silence with one of his disciples along a mountain trail. When they came to an ancient cedar tree, they sat down under it for a simple meal of some rice and vegetables. After the meal, the disciple, a young monk who had not yet found the key to the mystery of Zen, broke the silence by asking the Master, "Master, how do I enter Zen?"

He was, of course, inquiring how to enter the state of conscious which is Zen.

The Master remained silent. Almost five minutes passed while the disciple anxiously waited for an answer. He was about to ask another question when the Master suddenly spoke. "Do you hear the sound of that mountain stream?"

The disciple had not been aware of any mountain stream. He had been too busy thinking about the meaning of Zen. Now, as he began to listen for the sound, his noisy mind subsided. At first he heard nothing. Then, his thinking gave way to heightened alertness, and suddenly he did hear the hardly perceptible murmur of a small stream in the far distance.

"Yes, I can hear it now," he said.

The Master raised his finger and, with a look in his eyes that in some way was both fierce and gentle, said, "Enter Zen from there."

The disciple was stunned. It was his first satori - a flash of enlightenment. He knew what Zen was without knowing what it was that he knew!

They continued on their journey in silence. The disciple was amazed at the aliveness as if for the first time. Gradually, however, he started thinking again. The alert stillness became covered up again by mental noise, and before long he had another question. "Master," he said, "I have been thinking. What would you have said if I hadn't been able to hear the mountain stream?"

The Master stopped, looked at him, raised his finger and said, "Then I would have told you to enter Zen from there."

A Zen teacher saw five of his students returning from the market, riding their bicycles. When they arrived at the monastery and had dismounted, the teacher asked the students, “Why are you riding your bicycles?”

The first student replied, “The bicycle is carrying the sack of potatoes. I am glad that I do not have to carry them on my back!” The teacher praised the first student, “You are a smart boy! When you grow old, you will not walk hunched over like I do.”

The second student replied, “I love to watch the trees and fields pass by as I roll down the path!” The teacher commended the second student, “Your eyes are open, and you see the world.”

The third student replied, “When I ride my bicycle, I am content to chant nam myoho renge kyo.” The teacher gave praise to the third student, “Your mind will roll with the ease of a newly trued wheel.”

The fourth student replied, “Riding my bicycle, I live in harmony with all sentient beings.” The teacher was pleased, and said to the fourth student, “You are riding on the golden path of non-harming.”

The fifth student replied, “I ride my bicycle to ride my bicycle.” The teacher sat at the feet of the fifth student and said, “I am your student!”

Living in the Moment

There were two temples in a town - rivals, as temples are. Each didn't allow their devotees to go to the other temple. They were fiercely antagonistic. And both the priests - old priests, had a boy, one each, for odd things, odds and ends - to bring things from the market, this and that, and both had ordered their boy not to talk to the other, in the market or on the road: No! Those people of the other temple are so corrupted, don't talk to them!

But boys are boys, and when you forbid a boy and tell him not to do something he is bound to do it, it is natural. They became interested - what was the matter?

So one day they met on the road while they were going to the market to fetch something. The boy from temple one asked the other boy: "Where are you going?" The other boy said: "Wherever my legs will take me". The first boy was puzzled.

He came back and he asked his Master what to do: "You have prohibited me, but I am foolish; they are really bad people - I asked the boy a simple question: Where are you going? and he started talking nonsense, but he defeated me. I feel hurt."

The Master said: "You should not be so. Ask again tomorrow."

"He will say: Wherever my feet will take me, and then you ask him a Zen koan: If you had no feet then where would you go? Then he will be put right."

The next day the boy waited for the other boy to come. The other boy came, the first boy was ready, he asked: "Where are you going?" The other boy said: "I live spontaneously. Wherever the wind will take me." He never talked about feet.

The first boy was at a loss what to do: These people are really very cunning, and not reliable either. He has changed!

He came back very angry and said to the Master: "You are right, these people are very contradictory, inconsistent, not reliable at all. I was ready but the boy had changed his mind; he said: Wherever the wind takes me. I am like a white cloud. So what to say? Because clouds don't have any feet, legs, so how to..?" The Master said: "I know them well; these people are very inconsistent. Tomorrow you again ask him: Where are you going? He will say: Wherever the wind takes me. I am a white cloud. You ask him: If the wind is not blowing where will you be going?"

Next day the boy was ready again and when the two met he asked "Where are you going now?" The other boy said: I am going to the market to fetch vegetables.

The Parable of the Lost Sheep
(Mt 18:12-14) “How think you? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, does he not leave the ninety and nine, and goes into the mountains, and seeks that which is gone astray? And if so be that he find it, truly I say to you, he rejoices more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray. Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.”
I like this parable very much.Every time when I read this parable, I'm moved. This parable shows God's love for mankind. God likened everyone to a sheep, and if a sheep got lost, he would spare no effort to look for it.

I think I remember that one from school.

Is Christianity popular in China, Baihe? I imagine that, in the same way religions like Hinduism and Buddhism seem exotic to the west, so religions like Christianity seem exotic to the east? But maybe not. Maybe it's only an imagining. And no more.

Hi, friend. God bless you. I'm so pleased to tell you what I know. From the time when the Church of Almighty God was established, the chosen people of God have gained an ever deeper and higher knowledge of God, and the Church has increasingly expanded, with a growing number of believers and rapid spreading of the gospel. At present, there are tens of millions of followers of Almighty God in just China. This is God's power and almightiness. Almighty God says,"Today, God has returned to the world to do His work. His first stop is the grand assemblage of authoritarian rulers: China, the strong bastion of atheism. He has conquered a group of people by His wisdom and power. During the period, He is hunted by China’s ruling party in every means and subjected to great suffering, with no place to rest His head and unable to find a shelter. Despite this, God still continues the work He intends to do: He utters His voice and spreads the gospel. None can fathom the almightiness of God. In China, a country that regards God as an enemy, God has never ceased His work. Instead, more people have accepted His work and word, for God does all He can to save each and every member of mankind."(from The Word Appears in the Flesh)
Before I believe in God ,I had a imagination, I thought that God is the God of the Israelites or the God of the Jews but not the God of the Chinese.But Almighty God says,"Of the two stages of works in the past two ages, one was done in Israel and the other in Judea. On the whole, both stages of works were within Israel and were done on the first chosen people. So, to the Israelites, Jehovah God is only the God of the Israelites. And because Jesus worked in Judea and completed the work of crucifixion, in the eyes of the Jews, Jesus is the Redeemer of the Jews, he is only the king of the Jews, not the king of other people, he is not the Lord who redeems the British or the Lord who redeems the Americans but the Lord who redeems the Israelites, and the ones he redeems in Israel are the Jews. Actually, God is the Ruler of all things and the God of all created beings. He is not only the God of the Israelites or the God of the Jews; he is the God of all created beings. The past two stages of works were done in Israel; thus, there are some notions formed within people. They think that Jehovah did his work in Israel, and Jesus personally carried out his work in Judea and did it in Judea through being incarnated, and that in any case, God worked without going beyond the scope of Israel. He did not work on the Egyptians or on the Indians but only on the Israelites."(from The Word Appears in the Flesh)
After reading Almighty God's words, I understand that God is not only the God of the Israelites or the God of the Jews; he is the God of all created beings. God’s true identity is the Creator.Share a music video with you:

Not into organised religion myself, Baihe, but it would be a poorer world if we all felt the same, thought the same and did the same things.
Good luck to you. :)

The Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor

There was once a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him a great sum of money. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.

But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him only a handful of coins. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

^I don't get it.

This guy owed this other guy a lot of money. The guy told the guy don't worry about it and let him go, even though he had the legal power to prosecute the debt. Then that guy went out and about choked some other guy out who owed him a nickel. When the first guy heard about this, he was pissed because the second guy didn't learn to forgive as he'd been forgiven. So his ass was grass after that.

Yeh, I understand the story. It just feels like it's missing a message. Might be just because it is so direct.

It helps me not be an asshole (when I can remember the story).

What I took from the story is treat others as you wish to be treated.

Certainly! That's the basis of it.

But sometimes you can't know whether it's impossible or not until you attempt it.

Any examples?

A monk went to a Taoist Master, asking: "What happens when we die?"

"I don't know", replied the Master.

"But I thought you were a Taoist Master!", said the monk.

"I am. But not a dead one.", replied the Master.

If you enjoyed that, a good book of koans and such is Zen Flesh Zen Bones:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...4,203,200_.jpg

Interesting thread.

A famous Zen koan in visual form:



Classic.

Good as any place for a little Zen humour:

A Zen monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says:
"Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor prepares the hot dog and gives it to the monk.
The monk hands him a $20 bill then waits for his change.
The hot dog vendor says:
"Change comes from within."






Two Zen monks were walking down the road.
First monk says: "These pine trees are magnificent."
The second monk slaps him across the face.
First monk: "Why did you do that?"
"I'm a Zen monk so I can get away with all kinds of weird stuff like that."

:laughing:

Could've left it at "one with everything" and I'd still think it's hysterical.

Two men meet on the street.
One asks the other: "Hi, how are you?"
The other one replies: "I'm fine, thanks."
"And how's your son? Is he still unemployed?"
"Yes, he is. But he is meditating now."
"Meditating? What's that?"
"I don't know. But it's better than sitting around and doing nothing!"





Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
Because they have no attachments.








One Buddhist monk leaned over to another and quietly asked, "Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

One pupil said: I think therefore I am.
The Zen master said: You think you are.
One pupil said: I am what I think.
The master said: Fat chance!