MB's Own Election for Alabama Senator
 

As I did for the US General Election, I thought it might be interesting if MB had its own parallel election; this time for the Alabama Senate race. The Republicans and Democrats are engaged in such a close battle for seats and support that this local election is being watched with fascination by the entire country, not to say the world, but for anyone not following the news, here’s a quick summary or C.V. of the candidates:

Roy Moore (Republican):
> Banned from local mall for being so pervy he was frightening customers away
> Accused of paedophilia or sexual harrassment by nine women
> Banned from local YMCA for soliciting sex from young girls
> Has made this comment about the last time America was great: “ I think it was great at the time when families were united, even though we had slavery”
> Considers that being gay should be a criminal offense
> Regrets the fact that women were given the right to vote
> Is commited to repealing Obamacare
> Removed from office of Chief Justice (twice) after being found guilty of violating judicial ethics.

Doug Jones (Democrat):
> None of the above

Well, that’s my balanced, impartial assessment of the candidates, so let’s get voting. Like the real election, you’ve only got one day to do it, and all votes will remain confidential, until they are hacked by the Russians and published by wikileaks.

You might add that Doug Jones supports abortion rights, not popular in Alabama and Alabama happens to be a fairly homophobic state as homosexuality is clearly unchristian. :rolleyes:

This really will be a test to see if people, and Alabamans in particular, really do believe in God. If Roy Moore wins, and I'm pretty sure he will, it will prove they don't think he really exists. If Doug Jones or a write in (presumably Luther Strange) wins, well, maybe there's hope for humanity after all.

But I have a feeling if Satan were a Republican with Moore's stances and Jesus Christ ran as a Democrat on Jones' platform, Satan would still win and they'd find some logic in the bible somehow. It's a shame too really. The couple times I was in Alabama were fairly pleasant and I'm a flaming liberal.

Fuck a 2-party system and its illusion of choice.

Church

More church. Favorite bit from last night's discussions.

Question: So who are you going to vote for?
Answer: Roy Moore all the way baby!
Question: With all that's currently surrounding him, why are you so enthusiastic about him?
Answer: Because he will fight to save the children from abortions.
Question: How do you feel about the fact he's accused of stalking, preying upon, and abusing some of those children?
Answer: Uhm, *stammers*, long pause: Because he supports my religious beliefs!

I almost fell out of my chair.

Also, Jones was the prosecutor who got two KKK members sentenced to life in prison for murdering four little girls in the infamous 16th Street Baptist Church bombing.

I vote for my cat!
http://www.trollheart.com/edturtle.png

Other: Pretend to be an illegal alien and get a free ride to Mexico.

True. Every time I feel like saying people who voted for Trump are stupid, I force myself to remember what their alternative was. It was just two really horrible options.

The whole political system of the US should be changed from the ground up. Don't ask me how though.

Respect.