i think you guys got bamboozled

I used to go on all these "free stuff" websites all night and rack up.
I remember getting:

A free jellybean
A cigar cutter
Box of napkins
Pack of 2 condoms
Wristband
Ink pen

I would have been satisfied with that, but these lovely companies sold off my address to all the spam mail businesses in the country, apparently.

Junk mail, ftw.