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TheBig3 08-28-2009 01:34 PM

Random Thoughts from people my age
 
Was mailed to me...

I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That’s enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

Do you remember when you were kids playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear the computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah… if you SUCK at it!

Was learning cursive really necessary?

“LOL” has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say.”

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

My brother’s Municipal League baseball team is named the Step-dads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual step-dads, I inquired about the name. He explained, “Cuz we beat you, and you hate us.” Classy, bro.

Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart” all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart.”

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a **** from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies.”

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it. Thanks, Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

I would like to officially coin the phrase ‘catching the swine flu’ to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight person. Example: “Pat caught the swine flu last night.”

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from. This shouldn’t be a problem….

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just won’t do anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this. Ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…

Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The other night I ordered takeout and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

sidewinder 08-28-2009 06:25 PM

Thoroughly entertaining, and many apply to me. :thumb:

And hey I get in the shower before turning the water on.

Astronomer 08-28-2009 06:35 PM

Agreed, this was amusing :D Most apply to me!

sweet_nothing 08-28-2009 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sidewinder (Post 726576)
And hey I get in the shower before turning the water on.

Yeah me too, I thought everyone did.....

Still great stuff.

Astronomer 08-28-2009 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sidewinder (Post 726576)
And hey I get in the shower before turning the water on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweet_nothing (Post 726584)
Yeah me too, I thought everyone did.....

I don't, because it takes an eternity for the hot water to start coming out :/ I'm a shame to the drought/ water saving plights.

TheBig3 08-28-2009 07:44 PM

I sent this out to a couple people today. Turns out these and many others came from the site "Ruminations."

give it a check

sidewinder 08-28-2009 07:45 PM

I was about to say...only girls turn the water on first. :D

I don't mind my feet getting a little cold water for a few seconds.

Astronomer 08-28-2009 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sidewinder (Post 726601)
I was about to say...only girls turn the water on first. :D

I don't mind my feet getting a little cold water for a few seconds.

Haha this could be true. I don't like getting cold, I'm a wuss.

NumberNineDream 08-29-2009 07:34 PM

Quote:

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
That is the main reason I hate it when a friend rides in my car. I actually stay 90% of the trip wondering about their opinion of the CD i'm listening to.
Once my cousin changed the music, I held a secret grudge on him for more than 3 months before bursting in anger at his taste in music.

I now have two rules in my car:
-No talking about my driving skills.
-No talking about the music.

FETCHER. 08-30-2009 04:27 PM

Big3 your a legend! :D
that made me laugh alot :laughing:

Bulldog 08-30-2009 04:40 PM

I can see myself in a lot of those :D

Great post Mr Big3 sir :thumb:

FaSho 08-30-2009 04:48 PM

What's funny is that I'm at least 6 years younger than you guys, and I can still relate to a good bit of these.

Dr.Seussicide 08-30-2009 04:50 PM

I loved this! :D

... I actually got kind of bummed when it came to an end though... "lol"

Double X 08-30-2009 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog (Post 726473)
There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

My friend tipped my chair just once and fell back and got a concussion in 7th grade. I am a chronic tipper and never fall.

Seltzer 08-30-2009 09:31 PM

Quote:

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear the computer history if you die.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

“LOL” has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say.”

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

I especially agree with all these.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog (Post 726473)
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I do this all the time :laughing:

Quote:

Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
For me that movie is Silence of the Lambs... but with a little less laughter I'd say. On another tangent, I saw Home Alone 2 the other day. I used to love that movie as a kid but now I'm wondering what the hell I saw in it.

Quote:

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
I hate the converse situation more than this... it seems that I tend to bump into people I know when I haven't slept in 40 hours, am fuelled solely on caffeine and an insubstantial breakfast and consequently can hardly string together a sentence. Not the best time to meet the girl you have a mad crush on. :o:

Quote:

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.
Definitely one of the divine exceptions to Fitt's Law. I hate alarm clocks... I shot mine with a BB gun once.

Astronomer 08-31-2009 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Double X (Post 727469)
My friend tipped my chair just once and fell back and got a concussion in 7th grade. I am a chronic tipper and never fall.

On teaching rounds I have major issues with kids tipping their chairs. Have had many fall off; one ended up putting a hole through the wall with his chair. So now I have a rule that if anyone tips on their chair they have to remain standing for the rest of the class :D I'm mean.

SATCHMO 08-31-2009 01:50 AM

Quote:

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
No you're just getting older, which means the less slutty ones wont sleep with you anymore.

Dim Mak 08-31-2009 08:03 AM

My GF seriously sent that same email to me like three or four days ago. Thats kind of creepy.....

Double X 08-31-2009 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lateralus (Post 727569)
On teaching rounds I have major issues with kids tipping their chairs. Have had many fall off; one ended up putting a hole through the wall with his chair. So now I have a rule that if anyone tips on their chair they have to remain standing for the rest of the class :D I'm mean.

What grades are you going to teach?

sidewinder 08-31-2009 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NumberNineDream (Post 726999)
That is the main reason I hate it when a friend rides in my car. I actually stay 90% of the trip wondering about their opinion of the CD i'm listening to.

I'm the same way, it's pretty stressful. This applies to going to shows also, if you bring along someone who isn't as familiar with the music. I'm constantly worried about their enjoyment level and what's going through their minds rather than enjoying the music.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FaSho (Post 727388)
What's funny is that I'm at least 6 years younger than you guys, and I can still relate to a good bit of these.

And I'm probably 6 years in the other direction, same still applies. Weird.

Meph1986 08-31-2009 01:24 PM

oh god

this is good :clap:

TheBig3 08-31-2009 01:29 PM

So as I said, these were later found out to have been lifted from Ruminations.com.

I've since joined and now "Ruminate" myself. (shameless plug) if anyone wants to join up and "follow" my ruminations, I'm at Browster (because i need 6 characters and didn't care about my username)

music_phantom13 08-31-2009 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog (Post 726473)
Was mailed to me...

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

That’s enough, Nickelback.

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

“LOL” has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say.”

I would like to officially coin the phrase ‘catching the swine flu’ to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight person. Example: “Pat caught the swine flu last night.”

Bad decisions make good stories

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from. This shouldn’t be a problem….

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just won’t do anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

This was really funny, all these apply to me I'd say. Even though I'm a bit younger than the intended audience I'm sure. Particularly the work one - that moment for me was about an hour and a half after I got here this morning.

As for the music thing, I try and find music that whoever I'm with enjoys but could not care less whether or not they like my taste in music. I too have a no changing the music in my car rule. My friend once interrupted Little Wing to instead put in his cd, some **** by Korn :banghead:

Astronomer 08-31-2009 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Double X (Post 727625)
What grades are you going to teach?

High school, so year 7 to year 12. About 12 years old to 17/18 years old for you crazy opposite people who have different schooling systems.

TheBig3 08-31-2009 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lateralus (Post 727769)
High school, so year 7 to year 12. About 12 years old to 17/18 years old for you crazy opposite people who have different schooling systems.

says the woman from upside-down land.

Double X 08-31-2009 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lateralus (Post 727769)
High school, so year 7 to year 12. About 12 years old to 17/18 years old for you crazy opposite people who have different schooling systems.

Cool, I always thought elementary school teachers are creepy for some reason. No disrespect intended, but if my current career plans fall through, I would definitely go back to college and get my masters for teaching. My dad works as a business manager in a public school district so I always hear about educational issues and whatnot.

Comus 09-03-2009 07:20 AM

So bloody many of these apply to me it's not even funny, I love stuff like that. The favourite movie one, hell yeah.

Piss Me Off 09-03-2009 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog (Post 726473)
“LOL” has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say.”

I'm not trying to drive home a point or anything...

Flower Child 10-06-2009 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog (Post 726473)
Do you remember when you were kids playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

:) I think I loved this one the most.

Mojo 10-06-2009 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog (Post 726473)
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

True, but on the other hand it's great to be able to see that moment in the eyes of the person you are arguing with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog (Post 726473)
How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

I encountered this just a few weeks ago. The answer is 2 and if its a particularly noisy place then maybe 3.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog (Post 726473)
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it. Thanks, Mario Kart.

This one made me laugh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog (Post 726473)
I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think these people account for about 50% of the numbers in my phone now.

VeggieLover 10-07-2009 06:55 PM

i laughed aloud the whole time, and my mom asked me 4 times whats so funny. :) me gusta.

Freebase Dali 10-07-2009 07:00 PM

Haha... An old friend sent this list to me during school a month or so ago. Fun read. Will definitely check out that site. Thanks Big3.

kouki 10-10-2009 10:26 AM

That was so freekin hilarious,because most of it is true.


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