The Art of Forum Posting
 

Post your thoughts on tactics and tips you've picked up in your time trolling. Not much for rules here, just don't post something someones already done (quote it and add things), and don't post stupid ****. Please!

Post Positioning
 

Good news! your opinion will be posted here and it will be viewable by the public. Bad news! Geography matters.
If it’s the last post on the page, it doesn’t matter if you cured cancer. No ones reading that **** ever. Its smarter to just repost it later and pretend like it’s the original. No one likes a self-quote thread-bumper.

If it’s the first post on a page, you don’t require good grammar, a decent or original opinion, or for it to be on topic, it will be debated – fiercely. This is also top prize for localized forum trolls who are working on their comedy eRoutine.

Troll Fight
 

Avoid these like the Plague. Again, the proverbial “cancer cure” (good post) will be lost in a blizzard of retarded bickering and henpecking. All worthwhile debate should be suspended until the trolls parents enforce curfew or forum moderators take the Banhammer to someone’s face.

Forum Evolution
 

The evolution of a forum poster is generally in X parts.

1. poster arrives, new to topic or colloquial norms. Poster presents interest and likes, is subsequently berated by...

2. the 6 monther. has made it through his initial hazing. Is now extolling the virtues of said hazing on the new recruits. Mocks new posters for being stupid after the espouse, word for word, his opinion 6 months ago.

3. After they've been knocked from their high horse for responding hastily to a topic they are inexperienced with, they eventually chill out and one or two things happen...

4a. they become infrequent but valuable or

4b they become trolls.

Before you run the risk of coming across as a "fan boy" and thoroughly jeopardizing your reputation as a MB poster, it's usually best to circumvent a few steps in your evolutionary process as a forum member. Firstly I would suggest taking the one artist that you enjoy the most and immediately decide that you think they are completely overrated and that you are so completely over them and have been for quite some time. I mean it has to happen sooner or later, right? It's the only way really. Save all the residual sentiment you have for said artist and channel it into appreciating the one obscure album that everyone hates and is disappointed by, except for you of course, because you in fact know that it is the one album that no one understands and is the true manifestation of said artist's soul and creative energy. Spare no attempt in letting everyone know this in whatever partially relevant thread you can find.

N00bs don't forget that while this forum is quite active and new & somewhat relevant threads are being created daily by idiots and veteran members alike, it's usually best to start out your MB journey hitting up the archives and letting that one guy who posted only once in 2004 in the "name that tune thread" know the name of the song he's been looking for, because by now he's been following that thread for 5 years, and is probably distraught to the point of mild psychosis that no one has given him an answer yet. Resurrecting dead threads is an excellent way to drastically improve your status almost instantly. Alternately, if that's not an option, a fairly poorly written dissertation on why punk is dead, why Blink 182 is overrated, or creating a thread devoted to your 10 favorite rock bands will usually serve to put you in good standings with the MB community at large.

Good ol' Satchmo, such a good guide to the dangerous world of MB

Hazing FTW

How do we go about hazing on MB?

This was fantastic. :clap:

i assume he/she/it meant this