The Bitch Box (Surrealist Version)

[Urban Hat€monger ?]

Had to go to have a trombone playing double decker bus removed from my kidney today.

That's 3 times this week now.

[Thom Yorke]

I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

[TockTockTock]

David Lynch keeps buying me alien apple trees, and I told him to stop years ago.

[Janszoon]

My day has been a series of wig flatulence.

[Urban Hat€monger ?]

[Sansa Stark]

My third feet are wrapped around my eyelids, no one seems to remember my equestrian skills anymore

[Farfisa]

I still haven't found out why I keep getting sexual advances from the homeless guys at the intermittent fascist doogle dumplings. It pisses me off.

[Urban Hat€monger ?]

Originally Posted by spihs_knis_spil_esool

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[TockTockTock]

Captain Beefheart would be the king of this thread.

[The Batlord]

I smoke a fat crack rock today, but then I realized that I was out. So I put a couple nines in my waist band, an uzi under my jacket, put a knife in my shoe, put a few grenades on my belt, grabbed an AK, and went across the street to the local dealers. There was a dude at the front so I put a few rounds into his chest and walked in the door. Everyone heard that **** out front, so I see a bunch of *******s running down stairs, coming out of doors, pulling out guns, so I lobbed few grenades and ducked behind a couch. It seemed like a much better idea at the time, cause when I got up I slipped in a puddle of blood like a dumbass. So I go down to the basement where they keep the rocks, and some ******* pulls out a rocket launcher! He fires that ****, but I surprise his bitch ass by diving down the stairs under the rocket. He goes for a gun, but I grab my knife and give him a Columbian neck tie. After that, all the rocks were mine. Long story short, I've been up for four days straight, and I think the cops are hiding in my oven.