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Old 06-01-2012, 12:28 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Above View Post
MiniPlenty is doing a doubleplusgood job this year!
And the much awaited fortieth edition of the Newspeak dictionary will be published this Autumn!!! I can't wait to start using the new 100 word vocabulary they have!
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Old 06-01-2012, 02:40 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Three lions on a shirt
Jules Rimet still gleaming
One thousand and sixty four years of hurt
Never stopped me dreaming........
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Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.
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Old 06-01-2012, 05:29 PM   #33 (permalink)
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the Beach Boys release unfinished masterpiece "Laugh" from 2067 due to Brian Wilson's electronic artificial brain breaking down from ingestion of lighter fluids

and are reforming again

except they're in their robot bodies
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Originally Posted by The Virgin View Post
what? i don't understand you. farming is for vegetables, not for meat. if ou disagree with a farming practice, you disagree on a vegetable. unless you have a different definition of farming.
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Old 06-07-2012, 02:17 AM   #34 (permalink)
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417 credits for a pint?!!! Call me picky, but this synthobeer just tastes flat.

And what's with the Porvellians hogging the pool table all the time? I'm sure they're using telekinesis when they play too....trick shots my arse!!
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Old 06-29-2012, 01:30 PM   #35 (permalink)
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I've just finished work on my reverse time machine. I can't stand the useless, formulaic, faceless music we're forced to listen to these days (sucks that we all had to have ipods implanted in our brains at birth: I'm a little older so I only have one of those 9,459th generation ones: yeah, the ones WITHOUT the Total Immersion Video Holographic Sensory Feedback Field, what a tool eh?) and that they're ALWAYS on, 24 hours a day, music piped through from our Glorious Central Party Headquarters --- er, praised be their name, I'm a loyal Party Member, honestly...

I've had it! I'm going back to the twenty-first century. I know a lot of the records from that time didn't survive the Great Burn of 2012, but from what I can piece together they seem to have had this AMAZING form of music called ... what was it again? ... can hardly read this without my Proto-Spectacles... or my fifth eye... oh yeah, X-FACTOR. Sounds great. I'll see you all!


INCOMING MESSAGE FROM 2012, EARTH. SUBJECT: HELP!
PLEASE INSERT SIX BILLION CREDIT NOTE TO ACCEPT MESSAGE.
THANK YOU.
PLEASE PUSH "START" TO DECODE.
THANK YOU.
DECODING....
DECODING...
DECODING...
DEC ---
SYSTEM FAILURE. PLEASE REBOOT.
SYSTEM FAILURE. PLEASE REBOOT.
SYSTEM FAILURE. PLEASE REBOOT.
SYSTEM FAILURE. PLEASE REBOOT.

REBOOTING....
LOGGING ONTO GLOBAL NET.
PLEASE INPUT PASSWORD.
CHECKING...
PASSWORD NOT RECOGNISED.
PLEASE INPUT PASSWORD.
CHECKING...
PASSWORD NOT RECOGNISED.
PLEASE REBOOT.
REBOOTING...
LOGGING ONTO GLOBAL NET, PLEASE WAIT.
LOGGING ONTO GLOBAL NET, PLEASE WAIT.
LOGGING ONTO GLOBAL NET, PLEASE WAIT.


POPUP: ARE YOU TIRED OF PAYING OVER THE ODDS FOR YOUR DIGITAL AVATAR? LOGON TO FREAKY FREDDY'S FUNSTORE FOR THE CHEAPEST AVATARS AROUND! SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER: TEN PERCENT OFF TODAY ONLY!
disclaimer: the avatars on sale at the above emporium are not originals. They are for educational use only, and should be deleted after twenty-four hours. Failure to do so may result in legal action being taken, up to and including deletion of personality or planetary exile.
LOGGING ONTO GLOBAL NET, PLEASE WAIT.
LOGGING ONTO GLOBAL NET, PLEASE WAIT.
LOGGING ONTO GLOBAL NET, PLEASE WAIT.

PLEASE INPUT PASSWORD.
CHECKING...
PASSWORD NOT RECOGNISED.
PLEASE INPUT PASSWORD.
CHECKING...
WELCOME! GLOBAL HYPER NET IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MICROSOFT WINDOWS SEVEN THOUSAND, THE ONLY OPERATING SYSTEM YOU WILL EVER NEED.
disclaimer: Microsoft Windows 7000 will shortly be replaced by Microsoft Windows 7000 Alpha. Systems will NOT be backwards compatible. Sign up now for a limited-time evaluation copy.
INCOMING MESSAGE FROM 2012, EARTH. SUBJECT: HELP!
PLEASE INSERT SIX BILLION CREDIT NOTE TO ACCEPT MESSAGE.
THANK YOU.
PLEASE PUSH "START" TO DECODE.
THANK YOU.
DECODING....
DECODING...
DECODING...
MESSAGES BEGINS.
FROM: TROLLHEART
SUBJECT: HELP!
MESSAGE BODY: Oh no! I was grossly misinformed! This is TERRIBLE! I'd rather listen to the new Justandroid Bieber album! Seriously! Someone get me home! Please! Don't leave me here.

MESSAGE ENDS.
ALERT! MESSAGE CONTAINS ATTACHMENT. OPEN?
(WARNING! ATTACHMENTS CAN CARRY VIRUSES, AND SHOULD NEVER BE OPENED, EVER, FOR ANY REASON. DOING SO NOT ONLY PLACES YOUR TERMINAL IN DANGER, BUT ALSO THE WHOLE GLOBAL NET)
OPEN?
OPEN?
OPENING ATTACHMENT C:/USERS/TROLLHEART/DOCS/TIME_MACHINE_SCHEMATICS.CAD
WARNING! UNABLE TO OPEN FILE! UNRECOGNISABLE FILETYPE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEARCH ONLINE FOR A SUITABLE PROGRAM?
SEARCHING....
SEARCHING...
SEARCHING...

SYSTEM FAILURE. PLEASE REBOOT.
SYSTEM FAILURE. PLEASE REBOOT.
SYSTEM FAILURE. PLEASE REBOOT.
SYSTEM FAILURE. PLEASE REBOOT.
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Old 10-14-2012, 01:39 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Retirement has been banned, people work till they drop and politicians light their cigars with Martian fire flowers.
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Old 10-14-2012, 03:21 PM   #37 (permalink)
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April 12th 3030. All traces of Justin Bieber removed from history. This was mostly due to the over abundance of history that has accumulated. Scientists felt it would be beneficial to simply "Wipe out" the unnecessary trash.
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Old 10-14-2012, 10:31 PM   #38 (permalink)
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earth destroyed
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Quote:
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what? i don't understand you. farming is for vegetables, not for meat. if ou disagree with a farming practice, you disagree on a vegetable. unless you have a different definition of farming.
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:37 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Ears View Post
Retirement has been banned, people work till they drop and politicians light their cigars with Martian fire flowers.
No, it's the year 3030, NOT 2013!
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:40 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard the Duck View Post
earth destroyed
Again.
Construction begins on Earth v.4.9 beta. Anyone wishing to relocate from the current Earth v4.9 to test the new model should contact Professor Jon Frink at the University of Minneapolis, MN at holophone number (6191200076487744)-78dhw22205jbdq1/073333-99aaqzp2a
A limited number of places are available, so book now.
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