Stupid Is As Stupid Does
 

Post stupid things people say/ask in this thread, I was inspired by theses articles:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/...questions-ever

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/peopl...-like-a-genius

My favs:

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013...84978256-7.jpg

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014...1914058-13.jpg

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014...01915639-9.png

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014...00691849-5.jpg

^ Both the question and the answer Europe is face palm material.

"Africa"

"Europe"

Apparently continents are countries now?

Hm, who knew.

edit: as are states??

Jesus. We are all going to die from stupid.

:laughing:

Trust me, there is many far stupider than this!

Oh my lord. The stupid things I see/hear on a daily basis are so frequent and numerous that I'm not sure I can sum it up in one post.

But I'll try.

Terminal Customer Idiocy (in verbal form):

[for those of you who don't know, I work in a thrift store that has shops in the US, Canada, and Australia - also we're better than Goodwill]

[Looking straight at me, while I'm working, wearing a badge, etc.] Customer: Do you work here?

Customer looking into jewelry case.
Me: What would you like to see today?
Customer: That one!
Me: Which one?
Customer: THAT ONE!
Me: Your perspective is a bit different. Could you describe it for me?
Customer: That one in the front.
Me: [Shot in the dark] The bracelet?
[B]Customer:[/B] Yes!
Me: Which one?
Customer: The 4.99 one!
[There's a lot of "4.99 ones"]
Me: The brown one?
Customer: The other one.
Me: [resists urge to slam my face into the glass repeatedly]

[At the register]
Me: Debit or credit?
Customer: Yes.

[Customer is standing right in front of restrooms]
Customer: Excuse me, miss!
Me: Yes?
Customer: Is there a restroom in here?
[This is often followed by an explanation of why this is such an urgent question - 100% of the time I don't care and I don't need to know.]

[On the telephone]
Me: Thank you for calling [location, store name] where your donation benefits [non profit organization], this is [me], how can I help you?
Customer: Do you have [oddly specific item]?
Me: I really couldn't tell you. There's new stuff coming out every day. Your best bet is to come by and visit us!
Customer: You'd think you'd know your own stock. Is there a manager I can talk to?
Me: Yes, of course! I'll put you on hold.
[Hangs up the phone]

Customer: I accidentally ripped this when I was trying this on.
Me:That's a shame.
Customer: Can I get a discount?
Me: .......

[Out-of-state shopper who qualifies for tax exemption]
Me: Your total today is $2.19.
Customer: I'm tax-exempt.
[There's a huge line of people and the paperwork takes an extra 5 minutes to complete]
Me: Your tax is only 19 cents today. Are you sure you'd like to fill all of this out?
Customer: [acts like I didn't say anything] I'M TAX-EXEMPT [throws drivers' license at me]

Terminal Customer Idiocy (in behavioral form):

Customers can't seem to figure out what hangers are used for, or how to use them. You may as well be asking a goddamn mountain lion to hang their unwanted clothes up.

I often find...

• Shirts on pants hangers.
• Pants on shirt hangers.
• Hats/scarves on pants hangers.
• Inside-out clothing on hangers (it's miraculous if they get the garment on the proper hanger, really)
• Single garments on multiple hangers.
• Hangers every-fucking-where

People have done the following questionable things in our fitting rooms:

• Consumed/left behind beverages/food items, both in and out of containers
• Mistaken the fitting rooms for restrooms or baby-changing/feeding stations
• Shot up heroin/meth and smoked weed
• Masturbated furiously

Perhaps later I'll write a chapter on the average customer's inability to control their spawn.

The first one made me think of vampire fetuses and now I'm disappointed that image searching 'vampire fetus' just brings up Twilight fiction, anime, and someone else who had the same idea.

I put in 3 years at The Gap. I can second all of this madness. I think I posted this in another thread but my favorite was when a customer (an adult) asked:

-What does the "S" mean?

I had a customer that recently said, as she was showing me the tag to a shirt, "it says "S" but then it also says "CH" ... does that stand for "child?"

I had to explain to her that it was the Spanish equivalent (the tag read S/CH) and she thought I was joking or something.

"Stupid."

"What is the phobia of chainsaws called?"
"Common sense".

:rofl:

"Hungry" was a pretty funny answer, though.

You would be surprised how many people think Africa is a country.

I think the real story here is that Africa has an "A" in it.

It's such a troll type answer because of the TWO "a"s and then using a continent.

Coworker #1: How wide is a railroad car?
Coworker #2: Nine foot twelve.

Just happened as I was in this thread.

Is that derp for ten feet?

Apparently. I guess a std railroad car width is 9'-11 7/8" and he just rounded up. New kid. He's a bit derp, and a bit green.

:rofl:

That's incredible.

My advice: use protection and avoid riding the STD train.

There's a caboose joke in there somewhere, I just know it.