Music Banter - Weird/Awesome Historical Figures

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Weird/Awesome Historical Figures

You know when you're screwing around on wikipedia, and you stumble across the page of someone so strange or badass that you just kinda pause for a moment to appreciate their amazingness? This thread is dedicated to them, the lesser known heroes who make history so much fun.

Izumo no Okuni (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Izumo_no_Okuni) - An ex-priestess who became famous for doing sexy dances, and singing songs filled with innuendo. Started an all-girl troupe comprised of former prostitutes, and created the Kabuki style of theater pretty much just for the avant-garde lulz. Years after she disappeared from the public eye, the Shogun outlawed women from performing in Kabuki theater, 'cause women are evil or whatever.

Mi Heng (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mi_Heng, although the classic novels Records of the Three Kingdoms and Romance of the Three Kingdoms go into more detail) - Basically an internet troll in late Han dynasty China. His hobby was mercilessly criticizing people. Still, his boss Liu Biao recognized his intelligence, and sent him to work for Cao Cao, who at that time controlled the imperial court. Mi Heng almost instantly shat on Cao Cao and all of his officers, and then performed an epic drum solo that made them all cry, before ripping off all of his clothes. Fuck yeah. Too bad Cao Cao got butthurt over his insults, and sent him to work for Huang Zu, knowing that Huang Zu would execute the shit out of him for impertinence. Which he did.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wikipedia

Romans seem to have found the idea of a female gladiator novel and entertaining, or downright absurd; Juvenal titillates his readers with a woman named "Mevia", hunting boars in the arena "with spear in hand and breasts exposed", and Petronius mocks the pretensions of a rich, low-class citizen, whose munus includes a woman fighting from a cart or chariot. A munus of 89 AD, during Domitian's reign, featured a battle between female gladiators, described as "Amazons". In Halicarnassus, a 2nd-century AD relief depicts two female combatants named "Amazon" and "Achillia"; their match ended in a draw. In the same century, an epigraph praises one of Ostia's local elite as the first to "arm women" in the history of its games. Female gladiators probably submitted to the same regulations and training as their male counterparts.

#MeviaForPresident

O Homo (https://truewestmagazine.com/o-homo-slideshow/) - A super intelligent and super buff naked dude who wandered across the Wild West, eventually ending up in Tombstone, where he was arrested for indecent exposure. While waiting to be tried, he became famous for his sharp wit, as he laid down sick burns on the local sheriff, and expounded on his nakedness to the curious townspeople. "I take pardonable pride in my cuteness," he said, when asked about his lack of clothing. When pressed further, he explained that he simply thought that the human body was beautiful and perfect as it was, and that clothing was "uncivilized". Eventually, one of the local papers became so impressed with his awesomeness that they hired him as a writer. My favorite quote of his: "Reach to the most distant star and gather together the whole starry cosmos in your apron of wisdom, but know that all is but trash when compared to the brightest gem that ever adorned fair woman's brow, the only jewel worth wearing, the smile of contentment."

Puhua (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puhua) - A weirdo zen master from China who inspired Fuke Zen, a religious group of Buddhist monks who wore big baskets on their heads and played bamboo flutes. Rather than try to describe him, I'll just leave some excerpts from his wiki page:

Quote:

Originally Posted by wikipedia

When Panshan Baoji was near death, he said to the monks, "Is there anyone among you who can draw my likeness?"

Many of the monks made drawings for Panshan, but none were to his liking.

The monk Puhua stepped forward and said, "I can draw it."

Panshan said, "Why don't you show it to me?"

Puhua then turned a somersault and went out.

Panshan said, "Someday, that fellow will teach others in a crazy manner!"

Having said these words, Panshan passed away.

I don't know what's better; Puhua stunning all the monks with a surprise somersault, or the fact his master praises him and then dies immediately after, as if the somersault was so sick that his heart couldn't take it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wikipedia

One day the master (Linji Yixuan) and Puhua went to a vegetarian banquet given them by a believer. During it, the master asked Puhua: "'A hair swallows the vast ocean, a mustard seed contains Mt. Sumeru' – does this happen by means of supernatural powers, or is the whole body (substance, essence) like this?" Puhua kicked over the table. The master said: "Rough fellow." Puhua retorted: "What place is this here to speak of rough and refined?"

The next day, they went again to a vegetarian banquet. During it, the master asked: "Today's fare, how does it compare with yesterday's?" Puhua (as before) kicked over the table. The master said: "Understand it you do – but still, you are a rough fellow." Puhua replied: "Blind fellow, does one preach of any roughness or finesse in the Buddha-Dharma?" The master stuck out his tongue.

Ah yes, reaching enlightenment via flipping tables. I think Puhua might be the patron saint of memes.

These are so cool haha!

http://i.imgur.com/WDossuA.jpg
Edwin Booth

Quote:

Edwin Booth was a famous 19th century American actor who toured throughout the United States and the major capitals of Europe, performing Shakespeare. In 1869 Edwin founded Booth’s Theatre in New York, a spectacular theatre that was modern for its time. He was a celebrity during his day and some historians consider Edwin the greatest American actor, and the greatest Hamlet, of the 19th century. However, he is usually remembered today as the brother of John Wilkes Booth, the man who assassinated President Abraham Lincoln. After John Wilkes shot President Lincoln in April 1865, the infamy associated with the Booth name forced Edwin to abandon the stage for many months. At the time of the assassination he was feuding with John Wilkes and disowned his younger brother after the event, refusing to have his name spoken.

In a bizarre coincidence, Edwin Booth saved Abraham Lincoln’s son Robert from serious injury or even death on a train platform in Jersey City, New Jersey. The exact date of the incident is uncertain, but it is believed to have taken place in late 1864 or early 1865, shortly before Edwin’s brother assassinated Abraham Lincoln. The event occurred while a group of passengers were purchasing their sleeping car places on the train station platform. The platform was about the height of a car floor, and there was a narrow space between the platform and the car body. As the train moved, Robert Lincoln was pushed into the open space and Edwin grabbed him by the coat collar and pulled him to safety. Upon turning to thank his rescuer, Robert recognized the man as Edwin Booth, whose face was well known.

Top 10 Strange, Interesting, and Unique Biographies - Toptenz.net

Diogenes the cynic made a virtue of extreme poverty, made Plato look like a right idiot, and shat during plays. A rich man once told him not to spit on the floor so he spat in the rich man's face.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diogenes

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1865340)

:laughing:

https://pics.me.me/julie-daubigny-wa...r-26726906.png
Badass of the Week: Julie D'Aubigny, La Maupin

Quote:

Julie D'Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and bang a nun. If nothing in that sentence at least marginally interests you, I have no idea why you're visiting this website.

One of the most badass human beings ever produced by France was born in 1670 into a life of wealth, privilege, and one-percenter opulence that meant she could have just spent her entire life chilling out Real Housewives style without ever so much as having to shank a single human being in the eye in a hellacious fit of rage, but, as we shall soon see, that sort of malaise really wasn't this chick's bag. Her father was the Grand Squire of France, meaning that he was pretty much the number-one dude responsible for training King Louis XIV's pages and maintaining the Royal Stables, and this guy wasn't really the sort of hard-drinking drill sergeant mother****er who was going to let his little daughter grow up without learning the finer arts of dishing out knuckle sandwiches to her enemies or running would-be suitors through the small intestines with the pointy end of a rapier. This French R. Lee Ermey trained young Julie the same way he trained the King's Squires, and as a young woman she learned the finer points of necessary life skills such as horseback riding, horse maintenance and repair, drinking excessively, gambling, fistfighting, avenging your honor, and stabbing people in the ****ing face when they don't have the good sense to step off when you're threatening them. Growing up surrounded by tough men, this tall young beauty with the dark auburn hair and piercing blue eyes was forged into an instrument of badassitude.

Holy shit, that chick was hardcore. :love: