Music Banter - Lets All Laugh At The Q Awards

Award ceremonies are always good for a laugh, Here`s the results from the latest celebrity backslapping party/piss up.

BEST NEW ACT
Voted for by the readers of Q
Nominees:
1. Lily Allen
2. Corinne Bailey Rae
3. The Kooks
4. Arctic Monkeys
5. Orson
Presented by Edith Bowman and Danny McNamara
Winner: Corinne Bailey Rae

Who?

BEST TRACK
Sponsored by Napster
Voted for by the readers of Q
Nominees:
1. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
2. Crazy by Gnarls Barkley
3. I Don't Feel Like Dancing by Scissor Sisters
4. Never Be Lonely by The Feeling
5. I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor by Arctic Monkeys
Presented by Larry Mullen
Winner: Crazy by Gnarls Barkley

Would have given this to the Arctic Monkeys , only just though

BEST VIDEO
Voted for by the viewers of QTV
Nominees:
1. When You Were Young by The Killers
2. I Don't Feel Like Dancing by Scissor Sisters
3. Empire by Kasabian
4. Smiley Faces by Gnarls Barkley
5. Why Won't You Give Me Your Love? by The Zutons
Winner: The Killers
Accepted by Tim Burton

Can`t say too much about this , I`ve only seen the Kasabian one.

THE Q INSPIRATION AWARD
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Girls Aloud
Winner: A-ha

A-HA ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? !WTF ?????? Is it 1983 again?, Hope they asked for a Girls Aloud sandwich as a part of the prize. I would have.

THE Q OUTSTANDING CONTRIBUTION TO MUSIC AWARD
Sponsored by Sony Ericsson
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Jay Kay
Winner: Smokey Robinson

Don`t have a problem with this , would like to have seen him deck Jay Kay though

THE Q GROUNDBREAKER AWARD
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Russell Brand
Winner: Primal Scream

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Now as you know i`m a HUGE Primal Scream groupie , but but groundbreaking award? ,c'mon isn`t it a bit idiotic to give this to them after just releasing their most trad rock album in over a decade.
Now I know why I wouldn`t use your magazine to wipe my arse with.

THE Q ICON AWARD
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by James Dean Bradfield
Winner: Jeff Lynne

ELO & perms are icons now? WTF?

THE Q IDOL AWARD
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Jonathan Ross
Winner: Take That

I`d say Jonathan Ross would be a better winner of this just for his Heather Mills gag

THE Q OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE AWARD
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Danny Rampling
Winner: Faithless

Faithless????? You mean they`ve done something since 1996?????

THE Q CLASSIC SONGWRITER AWARD
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Paul Weller
Winner: Noel Gallagher

I`ve no problem with Noel , but this should have been the other way around.But then knowing Q magazine they`ve probably given this to Weller every year for the past 15 years.

THE Q LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Moby
Winner: Peter Gabriel

'And to present you with your award for dressing like a twat in the 70s here`s a boring vegan slaphead to present you with a peice of tat.'

THE Q MERIT AWARD
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by John Cale andJohnny Borell
Winner: Manic Street Preachers

John Cale & Johnny Borell? Wow that was random, who`s presenting the next one? Esther Randsen & Iggy Pop? . It`s sad when the decline in the Manics was so bad that they went from being one of my favourite bands to the point where I couldn`t even tell you the name of their last album . let alone any of the songs off it.

THE Q INNOVATION IN SOUND AWARD
Sponsored by Creative Zen
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Jonathan Ross
Winner: The Edge

The twat in the hat emerges from Bono`s shadow and tells the world how Brian Eno taught him everything he knows.

THE Q CLASSIC SONG AWARD
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Jamelia
Winner: Culture Club for Karma Chameleon

It IS 1983 , Jesus wept. Of all the great songs they could have chosen & they go with Karmaf*ckingChameleon

BEST LIVE ACT
Sponsored by Marshall Amplification
Chosen by the readers of Q
Nominees:
1. Oasis
2. Razorlight
3. Muse
4. Red Hot Chili Peppers
5. Arctic Monkeys
Presented by Emily Eavis
Winner: Muse

Didn`t Radiohead tour this year? hmmmmm

BEST ALBUM
Sponsored by Play.com
Nominees:
1. Black Holes And Revelations by Muse
2. Empire by Kasabian
3. Under The Iron Sea by Keane
4. Razorlight by Razorlight
5. Whatever People Say I Am That's What I'm Not by Arctic Monkeys
6. Eyes Open by Snow Patrol
Presented by Sugababes
Winner: Arctic Monkeys

I'd go with this based on the worthless tat otherwise on offer.

THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARD
Most votes polled this year
Presented by Jonathan Ross
Winner: Arctic Monkeys

Or the 'make the plebs vote for the band we feature the most in our magazine' award

BEST ACT IN THE WORLD TODAY
Sponsored by O2
Nominees:
1. Muse
2. Coldplay
3. Oasis
4. U2
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Chosen by the readers of Q magazine
Presented by Ricky Tomlinson
Winner: Oasis

This is an absolute joke of course but I love it that Oasis won in a field of multi million selling mediocrity

THE Q LEGEND AWARD
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Matt Bellamy from Muse
Winner: The Who

No complaints here , I could make a gag about Matt Bellamy but I really can`t be assed.

THE Q AWARD OF AWARDS
Chosen by Q magazine
Presented by Paul Rees, editor of Q
Winner: U2

Make your own jokes here