Suitable band biography?
 

My band

MySpace.com - Jodi Lee Parker - Birmingham, UK - Indie / Rock / Swing - www.myspace.com/jodileeparker

reformed a bit over a month ago. I noticed that our myspace band biography had always been a bit lacking, so I though it was worthy really telling the story of how the band came about.


How Jodi Lee Parker began:



One bright and breezy saturday morning a young lad was skipping along a country lane. He was whistling a simple tune "whistly-whee, whistly-whee" and thinking to himself "I must be the happiest lad alive" when all of a sudden he heard a noise coming from a roadside ditch. He froze and as shock turned into curiousity he crept along to the ditch. Peering down he saw a shiny copper 2 pence coin laying in the dry dirt. He reached, picked it up and held it close to his face for inspection. Suddenly, the coin started to talk!

"I say, Philip"

The coin exclaimed. The boy reeled back, still holding the coin, and fell into a bush. Tangled amongst the leaves and branches, it dawned on him that he had heard this voice before. He freed himself from the hedgerow and, still shaken, held the coin with The Queen’s face facing his own.

"Excuse me" he said, "but you sound like The Queen"

"Dear child, I AM The Queen" replied the coin, the face now moving. "My husband and I were visiting the royal mint one month ago when a very impolite man pushed me into a vat of copper. That’s how I ended up in this coin. The government have installed a cybernetic version of me as a puppet monarch and poor Philip hasn’t even noticed. When I disappear for a few days they told him that I was posing for another portrait and he believed them, the gentle buffoon."

"Can we do anything about it?", asked the boy.

"Why yes we can" replied The Queen. "The plan is that we go to London where Philip and I were scheduled to meet my crown designer. I wanted to get a new crown to suit this summer’s colours. Anyway, Philip and my cybernetic replacement will be leaving Buckingham Palace at 2 pm on the dot. All you need to do is slip me into Philip’s top jacket pocket and I can direct him from there. Despite the idiotic exterior, Philip is a highly trained killer and will do whatever I tell him. If I say to take out the cyborg and all of the palace guards then you can guarantee that he will. Did you know that he has a metal exoskeleton?"

"Wha?" managed the boy, now thoroughly confused.

"Oh, never mind" declared The Queen. "If I can lead the country through the Falklands crisis then I can sure as hell get one little brat to Buckingham Palace. To London, dear boy!"



To be continued...

Obviously this will be coming in installments... got to leave them hanging.

I lasted about a paragraph before I had to stop and have a fap.

But seriously a band bio should be short and too the point, not full of time wasting wank. Unless your demographic is kids in wheelchairs that sit and read all day online.
Try again.
Or give up music and start writing novels, either way.

I think the story is as to the point as possible. Queen falls into vat of copper, gets made into a coin and replaced by a cyborg. If these things hadn't happened our band wouldn't exist. Problem is, everybody already knows the Queen/coin/cyborg story so I have to fill in the details for them to understand how it resulted in the band being created. Do you not read the papers?

I don't have a problem with what you've got there myself...but I do think a little more to a point might be a little more effective.

I think a nice dose of wry humor is great, but I also believe it's possible to compact what you've got into something just a little more concise.

But again, what's here is still pretty good.