Tips for getting started in music?
 

Hello to everyone,

I have only posted in this forum a couple of times, so I'm not sure if this question belongs here. But this is one of the most active online music communities I have seen. If this question doesn't belong here, please feel free to move or delete it. I'm just giving this a shot.

So, long story short, I'm an aspiring male musician. I'm 23 years old, and I "play guitar" (I guess you could say). I have tried many times to form bands and to join other bands, but every time I set out to form something, the people always bail on me. I have very little band experience, mostly due to the fact that I come from a small rural town where no one plays, and so much of my time playing and learning has been by myself. I feel I'm a naturally gifted player, but for some reason no one has wanted to take the time/patience required to give me a chance. I'm certainly no ego-maniac. Everyone's got to start somewhere, but I cannot find that entry point that will get me sailing. No one ever seems to believe in me enough to give me a chance. Everyone wants experienced, established, seasoned players.

Does anyone here have any advice for me? Also, what are some of the best ways to find other musicians with similar tastes and aspirations as me? I currently live in much larger of a town, but it's still not a melting pot for musicians. I've tried craigslist many times, but nothing ever comes from that, at least not in my experiences. I'm lost by this point for what to do. Why is it that everyone else has no trouble getting and staying in bands, but I can't? I've highly considered just giving up.

I know this is not a "musicians" forum per se, but since it is about music, I thought it might be worth a shot to ask as I assume there are plenty of musicians here.

Thanks for reading, and hopefully someone can tell me something good!

Go solo until you meet like minded people. If you do a lot of solo performances, they'll come to you eventually.

This is probably something that is the most important factor and something you should set out to try to understand.

Highly considered that. But I never wanted to be an instrumental guitarist. But it still is a thought.

I would experiment with getting your guitar playing out there a bit try doing some recording, then trying to do some scaled back solo shows.

If no one wants you in their band make your own one.
see if you can find a friend of yours you get along well and teach him how to play the bass or something.

I grew up in a place where everybody listened to rap but me and my only rocker friend made a band despite our neighbors hating us cause our practice sessions were too loud.

F*cking hypocrites, they could blast their rap music as loud as they want but can't handle a little distortion.

In my case, it was my friend who started the band and convinced me to join.
That's why im telling you, find a friend that you know is into music and try to form your own band with him if you're not having any luck getting into other bands.

There's no way in heck I could ever get any of my friends to pick up music. Much less want to make a career out of it like I want to. I wouldn't want to have try to force someone to be passionate about it.....you know?

Plus, I live away from my hometown now and I don't know anyone. And I've tried to form my own bands, but no one wants to give me the time of day. I don't get it. Don't they remember trying to join/form their first band? It's aggravating!

Oh man, I know that feeling. Honkie neighbours would blast country in their front yards and would call the cops if we played avant-garde music at my old place. Wanted to burn that **** down.

I hear you, we tried to get a friend to be our bassist but music wasn't his thing.

I feel bad for you man, aside from forming a band it's always good to know ppl with similar music taste but it seems you don't have that.

Maybe you should go solo for awhile or start hanging out in the local music scene to meet ppl.

The problem is experienced bands don't really have the time to take on a noob. i think its better to start a new band and grow as a musician by your own standards first than to try to keep up with experienced musicians.

Absolutely, which is exactly what I've tried to do. But no one wants to form a band with me. It leaves me wondering- "How do other people get their start?" Lol..... One big problem with me as well is the fact that I did not grow up with musical people. I'm the only person in my family who wants to play music. The rest of my family could care less about it.

Most of the time I'll find someone with similar music tastes, and we'll get together maybe once, after that they never return my calls/texts and I get the feeling they just didn't think I was experienced enough. Like I said, no one has the patience to give me a chance. I don't get it. How am I supposed to get my start when no one will give me a chance?

If you read the ads out there on most of these websites, you see lots of these dickhead guys on there like- "Must be a pro, and must have pro gear, or don't bother replying." *** holes! lol

I wish I didn't have this burning desire to do this. It's very intimidating coming from my humble, quiet, sheltered background into the world of real musicians, and things I've only seen/heard on TV/radio and actually having to go face to face with it. I feel so inferior and almost don't even want to call myself a "musician", because there is so much for me to learn that I don't even know if I have what it takes. And the fact that no one has believed in me enough to give me a chance almost confirms to me that I don't have what it takes.

You are always told as a kid to "follow your dreams, don't give up on your dreams." But I think that is some of (if not the) worst advice you can give someone. Not everything is achievable. I think that's just how it is. I think I will give up on it all, and go back to the boring, unfulfilling life I never wanted.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Don't worry so much, if you truly want it you will be in a band eventually.
ofc there's no guarantee you'll make it big but you will have your shot at it.

I'm 23.... I keep hearing that. But every experience tells me it's never going to happen.

You need to be dedicated. Being a musician is a "don't quit your day job" kind of hobby, it's not very realistic to rely on making it big but that shouldn't keep you from trying.

Im not the most ideal guy to preach this to you but you really gotta dedicate yourself to it if you're choosing to be a musician.
You more than most given your circumstances.

And wether you make it big or not you can be a musician and either play solo or eventually with a band that much you can always do.

Having a defeated attitude before you even get started it's gonna do you no good.
you're still young, you still have plenty of time for forming a band.

Very true. I think it comes down to just not being good enough. There are so many artists out there who are galaxies above me talent-wise. I feel like a little tadpole.

Well there's always room to grow. Also, you can be very technically untalented and still write great songs. Pin down the talents that you do have and focus your music there while working on your weaknesses.

Just a kid with a recorder.

I'm trying to take guitar lessons but it all just seems too hard. The guy was right about having a defeated mindset. I'm very quick to feel intimidated and discouraged, I just default to the position that I'm just not good enough. It's very weird to be me! lol

Well, why not try showcasing what talent you have via YouTube and say in the video that you're looking for people to play music with? Even if they're not local you can collaborate easily these days across yon net. Might be worth a go.

This is what I had assumed. If you're putting together bands where you're the weakest link in a big way, the others aren't going to want to stick around unless you can demonstrate that you learn quickly and adapt.

My advice is to try and find others that are in a similar position to you and use the opportunity to grow. You don't need to start a band straight away that you intend to be the best thing you've ever done in life. Bands are like jobs in the sense that you get the one you're most qualified for and when you've got some experience, you move on to another more prestigious one where you get more out of it.

Take it in steps. Learn the band dynamic based on trial and error, and by the time you find yourself in one that will do something worthwhile, you've earned it.

Just goes along with my upbringing and lack of exposure to anything. I grew up on a 300 acre farm in the middle of nowhere. My parent's were country bumpkins and they sheltered the t-total piss out of me. I had no friends/relatives who played. When people asked me what I was going to do after high-school, I had to tell them things like "Carpentry, Electrician, or plumber" so they would understand. If I said, "I want to pursue a music career." No one would take me seriously, or would understand.

Yes, trust me. I have put out ads asking for inexperienced players to join my band. But no one has ever replied to them. I never meet inexperienced players out and about either.

The other problem I find with it is they they say to get better you need to play with musicians who are better than you. But I can see what you mean. Find newb players like myself just so I can get a start. I see.

You don't really have to stop being that way, im my own worst critic too but you gotta believe in yourself.
It took me years to be proud of my songs and in my ability as a musician.

i would show the songs to my bandmates with the disclaimer 'it sucks but checkout this song i made" but nowadays i show my songs without wavering if i think they're good.

Just play everyday and never stop learning from music and the rest will sorta fall into place.

I hate to do this because I'm kind of trying to remain anonymous/off the grid. But here is a short video of me playing a solo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeockTL-GLA

I'd like to get some of your opinions/critique. Do you think I have talent basically?

I do that all the time too! haha

Hell, I wish I hadn't done that now since no one is responding anymore.

Ah, the irony here. Everything's peachy 'till the moment I start playing, then people are nowhere to be found. Much like the bands I've tried to form! I'm seriously cursed!

Sounded good but wanking away on a solo with hammer ons and all that is not really going to blow people away these days. Too many people can do that. Sounds like you have good technique and timing so you need to apply that to something that will move people. Meaning you should try to write your own stuff and bring your personality to the front.

I don't really have a "personality". I'm not creative enough. I can write riffs (crappy ones). But full songs? Can't really do it. You're right about it not impressing anyone anymore. Music in general doesn't impress people anymore because everything has been done before. There are no new songs, and no new avenues left to explore. Thanks for the critique!

Have you tried? I think the same thing about myself actually. But there is great music released every week. Plenty of new avenues to explore. Find someone that can be objective about your "crappy" riffs and you might be surprised.

Yes, I have absolutely tried. But I grew up where creativity and artistic things were discouraged and laughed at. 20+ years of that made me creatively impotent. Those people you suggested are not out there, I've tried to find them. That video was jut made to display my (very limited) playing abilities.s

Put it to you this way. I've tried to play like ME, but I don't like the way ME sounds. My personality on the instrument sucks! lol :rofl: