Recommend Me Albums, Each of Which I Will Review in One Word
 

Yeah so this is pretty self explanatory, I think. Give me an album to listen to, and I'll do you a huge favor and write a review that's a word long. However, I do have rules to keep any of y'all from giving me too many albums:

First, check what time it is. If the hour is an even, single-digit number, you may recommend me two albums if the average of the lengths of your real first name and your username is greater than six. Spaces, underscores, etc. do not count towards your username's length - only letters and numbers do. If the average is less than six, you may not recommend me an album at this time. However, if the average is exactly six, you've landed on a Daily Double and may wager up to three albums on answering a general knowledge question correctly. However, since you start with two albums, if you bet three and get the question wrong, I force you to listen to an album and review it in a word.

If the hour is an odd, single-digit number, the process is pretty straightforward. Find the middle letter (or middle two letters) of your middle name, and recommend an album starting with that letter or those two letters that also has the same number of letters in the title as your middle name has.

If the hour is two digits, look to the minutes. Add the two digits of the minute, keep doing it until you get a single-digit number, and then follow the rules for single-digit hours from above.

(The time at which you recommend something will be the time where I am. Please keep that in mind. Right now I am in the Pacific time zone, but I live in the Eastern time zone. I will be on planes back home for much of the day Friday, during which time I will lack internet connection, but I'll be stopping in the Mountain time zone briefly. If you recommend an album while I am there, I expect you to follow all the rules about time accurately to where I am at the moment. I don't plan on telling you when I change time zones, but at the beginning of the day Friday I will be in the Pacific, and by the end of the day I will be in the Eastern. I hope that clears up any questions you might have!)

I also have a pretty complicated way I plan on classifying my reviews by color, but I'll share that with everyone later. I can't wait for your first recommendations to come flowing in!

This attempt at trolly satire fell REALLY flat, sorry

I've never heard of that album and I don't believe your middle name is that long.

I don't have a middle name, but I have a patronymic. Does that count?

Really not too clear on why you're making fun of us who are just trying to provide decent music discussion. Also, shouldn't this be in the "jokes" section (unless you're serious)?

Yes, but it's 2:26 here right now, so that doesn't matter at the moment.I was pretty much about to start an actual thread to get recommendations when TechnicLePanther started his, and then Batlord made his just now, so I felt like it would look weird for me to do the same thing as you guys. So, yeah, those rules are a joke, if a badly done one, but, speaking totally seriously, if anybody actually wants to give me an album to listen to, that would be much appreciated. (I'll even use more than one word to review it.)

Review your mom in one word.

also... Lil Ugly Mane - Mista Thug Isolation

Why not a sentence. Or three? A word is just gonna be "crap", "great", "classic", "****" etc. Seems a little unadventurous.

What kind of music or does it matter? Would you review this for instance?
https://www.newworldmusic.com/uk/sit...?itok=qX_A8cCH

Intelligent
Why are rap albums so long? But yes I will listen to this.

I'll save you the trouble

Review: Trash.