Eurovision 2016 Thread
 

Hey all, I'm back for the Eurovision Song Contest 2016. I'm so looking forward to sharing with you the cheese, the s***, the blood, the tears, and whatever else is in store for the world's biggest music contest this year.

Get ready for

• Gays and lesbians!
• Terrible, out-of-key performances!
• Cheap versions of well-known pop songs!
• Bad staging!
• Crap costumes and even worse back-up dancing and singing!
• Political intrigue!

...and last but not least, a whole lotta fun!

First is the Worst
 

You know what they say! The first is the worst!

Are you ready for the absolute trainwreck that is Belarus' Eurovision 2016 entry? Think carefully before you hit play, and please let me know if you survive more than 30 seconds of this torture.



It might have been an okay concept, but it's lost on me, and most everyone else who was watching that night, unfortunately. We're not expecting this to make it past the semi-finals.

Next up is the dated, poorly executed, and just plain boring entry from Switzerland. FFS who are those sad souls cheering this flat performance on. I could not be more unenthused about this song, which is hardly bearable. Not planning to see this at the final on May 14th either. Song needs a complete revamp.



Poor thing.

The last song in my bottom three is unfortunately the Travel Channel ballad from the United Kingdom. Although it would be great as the background track for an Alaskan cruise, I just can't stand that this is the best the UK could do this year. Come on, Brits! Put some effort into it!



That said, the boys themselves are not bad, and of course we will be seeing this at the final, as the UK is already pre-qualified as one of the big five.

Stay tuned for a breakdown of all of this year's songs. Not going to get your hopes up, but maybe you'll find something you actually like along the way.

:band:

Good write up, looking forward to following the thread.

Swiss is the best out of them, not saying much I know. British one is very dull. Had heard it was bad but this is the first time hearing it. I liked last year's one.

What is the criteria for the songwriters? Could we put an Arctic Monkeys track forward if we wanted to?

I'm not an expert on all of it, but the songs have to be written after September 1st (or sometime around then), they must not be longer than three minutes, and they can't be political. Also no live instrument playing. So if the Arctic Monkeys agreed to all that they could represent. There's also no requirement to be of the nationality for the country you represent. Beyonce could represent Moldova if she wanted to.

The real issue is that nowadays it's such a trashfest that no one with a decent reputation would ever waste time on it. It's like a showcase of "The Voice" rejects.

That said, some famous people got their start at Eurovision (Celine Dion and Abba, for example). It hasn't really happened too much in recent years though. The trend nowadays is more toward Eurovision ruining your career forever. Hehe.

Thanks Miss P. It is trashy but I guess that's a lot of the appeal :)

I hope it is a good Eurovision this year..well at least I do not have to travel far to see it :D

Melodifestivalen is still running here in Sweden and the final is on Saturday. My personal favorite is this guy..but then my personal favorite never wins.



My husband is rooting for this girl:



Or these guys could win since the students wil probably be playing this song all friggin summer long and its catchy:




Maybe Sweden again for 2017 ? :D

I wanted Viktoria to win, too. The fact that you guys chose Frans is beyond depressing. What did you like about him?

Rock Bands?
 

This year has attracted a number of rock bands, which we usually don't see that many of at Eurovision. One or two, but four? Surprising!

Romania shocked everyone this year with its rock ballad choice, "Moment of Silence." Fun fact, the lead singer, Ovidiu, is a famous dog breeder in Romania.



I actually loved this song when I heard it. I probably would have voted for it, too. Gotta love the half-naked swordsman. And honestly, without this kind of entry, you just don't really feel like its Eurovision. Not a winner, but a hilarious and oddly memorable song nonetheless. Romania has never not qualified for the Eurovision final, so we'll be seeing this on May 14th.

As usual, Montenegro is delivering on weirdness. I actually thought this song had huge potential and the video is cool, too. There are parts that are kind of like...whoa, cool. But no glue holding it together, unfortunately. You might like it though.



Not your typical Eurovision trash, that's for sure. But what is it, then?

Georgia's entry doesn't really disappoint, but it's so monotone and indie it will probably get overlooked this year. I would be surprised if this qualifies at all, but it's not a bad song. Just way to "cool" for the average Eurovision voter. We're used to obscure from Georgia, though.



They kind of remind me of the White Stripes for some reason.

The entry from Cyprus is probably the best quality from the rock variant, regardless of the very Nickelbacky thing going on. It at least sounds radio friendly and has a memorable chorus. I think this will surely qualify, but it's always a toss up to be honest.



Yeah this is actually more dancey the more I listen to it, too. Well, I feel really neutral about it. We'll have to see which of these makes it through the competitive semi-final rounds this year.

Stay tuned, there are plenty more coming!

I think that it has to do with several things. First, it was a simple set...no fancy lights...no bling. Just Frans. Secondly, the song is cute and catchy....not to mention that Frans is famous for singing this tune about the football player Zlatan:



That song is still sung today and pretty much everyone knows it here. In fact, I havent met anyone who doesn't- Zlatan, Zlaaatan :D

That explains a lot! :)

Here is the signed version of Samir and Victor's entry for Melodifestivalen. The refrain translates to "We shall bathe naked in Sergels torg" (Sergels torg is a square in the middle of central Stockholm with a huge fountain in the middle). I just thought the signed version was funny :)





Got to love Eurovision. Just a big pile of glittery, beautiful, cheezy trash music :)

Ahahha I saw this clip circulating around on twitter. Gold :)

The WTF entries!
 

Now presenting 2016's "wtf" entries. There are always a handful, and this year is no exception. We saw some really intense drama during the national final season, with upsets, disappointment, and shocking reveals.

One thing that most fans are agreed on is that Poland made a huge mistake this year. No one is really sure if it was a voting fluke or a conspiracy, but what we do know is that the guy who one beat a way more popular dance/pop entry, and everyone was left wondering, wtf just happened? The song is very bad, and the guy is crazy cheesy, but hey, this is Eurovision, you always get some weirdos, right?



Greece upset a lot of fans with it's ethnic/folk inspired piece, Utopia Land. I have to admit I'm a sucker for traditional instruments, but nothing about this song sits well with me.



I think there is actually something wrong with, but I'm not totally sure what it is. The lyrics are terrible, that's beside the point. Although... maybe it's really the bad writing that ruins the song after all.

The most twisted and bizarre Eurovision entry this year is far and away from San Marino. Now, San Marino doesn't have a great track record for Eurovision anyway (most of their entries were written by the same out-of-touch elderly man, and couldn't be beat in terms of cringeworthiness). But this is at a whole new level of weird and uncomfortable.



If this song baffles you, imagine what we were all thinking about the previous version, which received so many dislikes, the Eurovision channel removed it from the playlist and released this "disco version" instead.

Um, ok?

Dark Horse Entries
 

Here are a few entries that may not seem like winning material, but I believe could do surprisingly well at the contest in May.

Croatia returns to the contest this year with a risky entry. They submitted a folktronica type of song with a very unique vocalist.



The song itself has an almost Asian sound spliced with Balkan instruments. It's a very cool, different track that doesn't shock you in the studio, but done right on stage I think it could get a lot of attention. Good luck Nina!

Another surprising entry comes from Austria. Having won just two years ago, I think Austria is feeling a bit bolder to do something just for fun. To be honest, the entry is really well done and I think Zoe was a great choice amid a lot of dance ballads this year.



Loin d'ici should be a real breath of fresh air, and I will be very disappointed if it doesn't qualify for the final. I think it has a surprise factor and a decent chance!

My favorite dark horse of them all is Serbia, which hasn't received a lot of hype and hasn't really been talked about. Regardless, it's an incredible song that gives me chills every time.



I think the instrumental and the build up in this song is really unmatched this year at Eurovision. I also feel like the song has "it," a mix of something specific to the country, but accessible to a wider audience. I am very proud of Sanja, I think she is impressive. I hope this song gets the recognition it deserves at the show. But it'll hang on the backing track, backing vocals, live performance, and staging. Which we have no idea about yet! I can say that her band ZAA is a fantastic ska-reggae band and they put on a great live performance.

Best of luck to all my dark horses! I would be more than excited in any of these songs (but Austria is the least likely).

More to come!

Thanks for updating this Poptart. I love reading these posts.

How did you get into Eurovision?

I don't really remember actually. I think my Romanian friend in university showed me a few songs/winners sometime in 2010 or so, that was the first year I started watching. Have been addicted ever since I saw Serbia's entry that year, as well as epic sax man from Moldova. Thank you for the compliments! <3



Legend.

My favorite Eurovision song ever:

Eurovision isn't inclusive enough for me until Man-Bear-Pig wins.

Overrated as Hell
 

This year there are a few songs that I think are overrated as hell. I don't know why, year after year, the same drivel ends up capturing the fans' hearts early on. The typical dance ballad that could have been written by Selena Gomez or Devi Lovato is really far from what I personally like about Eurovision.

That said, the following songs have garnered a lot of support in the fandom and are even favored to score in the top 10. I hope the voters disagree.

Malta's song is far from bad. In fact, the first time I heard it, I was like.. hey, this could be a winner? And Malta has never won. They so desperately want to. To be honest I'll be happy if it does well, just stay out of the precious top spots please!



Meanwhile, Australia is back this year to fund the contest??? as a guest, and the fans are thrilled. We know that Australians love Eurovision and it's totally fine to include them in the show since they are a member of the broadcasting union that puts the show on to begin with. But this entry from Dami Im is underwhelming for me.

Regardless of my feelings, its projected for a top 5 win. I preferred Malta. The song has also churned up some controversy for the lyric, "trying to feel your love through face time," which sounds like "trying to feel your love through FaceTime," which would be a violation of contest rules, since lyrics cannot include brand names.



I don't mind Italy's song too much, and I super appreciate that it's in Italian (at least part of it us), but I can't understand why it's rising up the ranks in the odds. It's so mediocre. I'm the kind of person who likes something kind of uplifting for Eurovision and although the song is beautiful and she is quite pretty, I think the song itself falls flat.

Oddly, by the time she gets to the climax and starts singing in English, I kind of see its potential. Still, nowhere near the top 5 or top 10 for me.



Last and certainly least is Spain with "Say Yay" from Barei. I watched the national final in Spain and I was horrified that this won. It was an extremely boring performance with terrible backing singers, and something about her just irks me. I think it's her attitude. Or her voice.

Spain didn't have a great selection to choose from, that's true. And Spain usually comes in dead last or bottom 5. So I suppose if this is the song that digs them out of that hole of inevitable Eurovision fails, I'll just sit back and say, "hmm."



Coming up: some of the songs that are favored to win... that I actually like as well!

Occasionally Eurovision throws up a decent song, but by and large things haven't improved much since the days of "Puppet On a String".

Eurovision is a good contest. It shows that not only in your country so many crappy music. This one thing - ****ty pop music really unites the EU. LOL

Eurovision is simply party time at my house. It has little to do with the actual music.

Anyone participate in the "Sound of Europe" ?

Only a few days left till the start. At least the weather is fantastic here in Stockholm at the moment. Quite warm and sunny.


Neat that Eurovision will be shown in the US live for the first time. Perhaps they will participate as well one day :)


For now, it is sunny and time to go out to enjoy the crossing signals (They play Loreens "Euphoria" when you are waiting and "Heroes" when you cross :D )

Hey, guys, what is bookies say this year? Who will pay for this party next year?

Well, it seems like it'll be Russia or Ukraine. Game on!

Heard yesterday there is gonna be new voting system this year? What do you think?

I still don't understand the old one :) All I know is that only Sweden gets to represent Scandinavia this year...:(


Ah well who cares..At least I get to see Justin Timberlake tonight :) Neat that he is playing at Eurovision.

I'm not sure how I feel about Australia being in Eurovision, and making it to the finals. "Our" song is neither great nor bad by Eurovision standards. I suppose I am supposed to feel a sort of patriotic pride in it, but let's face it, the bar is set pretty low. Sure there have been some great songs in Eurovision, but there were also some real shockers, including some of the winners. "Save your Kisses For Me", anyone?

Wouldn't it be a hoot though if Australia won the thing and got to host the next one? That would make the "Euro" prefix, which seems to have been problematic for some time now, look even sillier.

So will the next contest be held in the Ukraine or Russia?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CidJRDRXAAAM0fm.jpg:large]

Australia had good song. I can say that only 5-6 songs was catchy. Think there is gonna be a lot of scandals and problems next year. Same as things that going on around Olympic Games in Brasil.

Heh. It almost happened.

I've thought for some time that the Eurovision Song Contest has become too political. The original idea was to draw participating nations together, but it seems to have had the opposite effect in recent years. When you get people actually slapped over the knuckles by the state for voting the wrong way, as apparently happened in Azerbaijan, that tells me the whole thing has gone too far. Banning songs with a political message, as the organisers as supposed to do, does not stop people and governments from attempting to use the contest for their own ends. The problem is, if countries are already not getting on with their neighbours, being included with them in a song contest is not going to stop them arguing or fighting, it will just be used as another propaganda weapon.

Maybe it's time to stop putting the songs to a vote, and just use the event as an annual showcase of each nation's talent? That would also address one of the criticisms often levelled at the contest - that songwriters tend to write very generic songs in the hope of achieving broad mass appeal. If they were not concerned with trying to garner the most votes, we might get to hear some more interesting left-field songs.