Music Banter - Trollheart does Pop!

Okay, just a few more things before we get this underway.

There’ll be little to no discussion of actual songs (he says, knowing he’ll have to as usual run his fool mouth off, but still) as the chances are most of you should be quite familiar with them, and anyway it’s not an actual review I’m doing here, more an appraisal of the album as being worthy, or not, of being called a good pop album. Remember, to me at least, a good pop album does not necessarily equal a good album. Thought it might, who knows? At any rate, expect comments to be few and short. Maybe.

FYI, here’s how the Pop Ratings work.

Each song, as I said, gets its score on three criteria. That has now become five. They’re then added up and a n average Pop Rating obtained. At the end of the album all the Average Pop Ratings are added up and again averaged to give the Total Pop Rating for the album. My own personal rating is just based on my own basic opinion of the album and has nothing at all to do with the Pop Ratings. All ratings are out of 10. Note: Danceability refers to, duh, the song’s capacity to make you dance, ie how boppy and catchy it is. Therefore, though slow songs could be danced to in slow sets, here they get a zero rating, as that’s not what we’re about. Doesn’t mean a slow song/ballad is bad, just that it can’t be danced to. For ease of understanding then, the dance in danceability refers to fast, or at least uptempo style dancing, not slow dancing, what we used to (apparently) call lurching.

Slow songs will be covered under the Smooch Factor. It should also be understood that this is purely a reflection of how much the song is a ballad, not how good it is. So even a shitty, generic ballad would rate 10; this doesn’t mean it’s a great song (though it may be; that can be determined from the other ratings) just that it can be classified as a proper ballad. Note: in my system, a song can only be rated under Danceability OR The Smooch Factor, even if somehow it satisfies both criteria, which is unlikely. So a track with any danceability score will always have a zero score for the Smooch Factor, and vice versa. The other rating then is the Surprise Factor, which is a measure of how, well, surprised I am at how good a song is, given my basic - and in fairness, biased and uninformed - contempt for most pop. Clear? No? Tough: here we go.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...ylor_Swift.png
Album title: Midnights
Artist: Taylor Swift
Nationality: American
Year: 2022
Highest chart position: 1
What do I know about this artist? I’ve heard two songs (one off this album) but my natural bias against artists who top the charts and all the sheep seem to follow (see also Ed Sheeran) leads me to hate her without knowing her music.
What was my opinion on this artist prior to listening? Thought she was probably overrated
What, if any, are my expectations prior to listening? Not sure. On the basis of “Anti-hero” I’m ready to be impressed and proven wrong, though that song could just be the exception to the rule.
Track-by-track:

Lavender Haze
Pop Rating
Singability: 4
Danceability: 4
Enjoyment: 2
The Smooch Factor: 0
The Surprise Factor: 0
Average Pop Rating: 2.5

Maroon
Pop Rating
Singability: 3
Danceability: 0
Enjoyment: 2
The Smooch Factor: 2
The Surprise Factor: 0
Average Pop Rating: 1.75

Anti-hero
Pop Rating
Singability: 10
Danceability: 8
Enjoyment: 10
The Smooch Factor: 0
The Surprise Factor: 10
Average Pop Rating: 9.5

Snow on the Beach
Pop Rating
Singability: 7
Danceability: 0
Enjoyment: 10
The Smooch Factor: 10
The Surprise Factor: 10
Average Pop Rating: 9.25

You’re on Your Own, Kid
Pop Rating
Singability: 4
Danceability: 6
Enjoyment: 4
The Smooch Factor: 0
The Surprise Factor: 4
Average Pop Rating: 3.5

Midnight Rain
Pop Rating
Singability: 2
Danceability: 0
Enjoyment: 3
The Smooch Factor: 10
The Surprise Factor: 0
Average Pop Rating: 3.75

Question…?
Pop Rating
Singability: 4
Danceability: 0
Enjoyment: 7
The Smooch Factor: 6
The Surprise Factor: 6
Average Pop Rating: 5.75

Vigilante Shit
Pop Rating
Singability: 4
Danceability: 0
Enjoyment: 5
The Smooch Factor: 5
The Surprise Factor: 8
Average Pop Rating: 5.5

Bejeweled
Pop Rating
Singability: 3
Danceability: 0
Enjoyment: 3
The Smooch Factor: 3
The Surprise Factor: 0
Average Pop Rating: 2.25

Labyrinth
Pop Rating
Singability: 5
Danceability: 0
Enjoyment: 10
The Smooch Factor: 8
The Surprise Factor: 10
Average Pop Rating: 8.25

Karma
Pop Rating
Singability: 8
Danceability: 8
Enjoyment: 6
The Smooch Factor: 0
The Surprise Factor: 6
Average Pop Rating: 7

Sweet Nothing
Pop Rating
Singability: 3
Danceability: 0
Enjoyment: 4
The Smooch Factor: 0
The Surprise Factor: 0
Average Pop Rating: 1.75

Mastermind
Pop Rating
Singability: 8
Danceability: 10
Enjoyment: 7
The Smooch Factor: 0
The Surprise Factor: 4
Average Pop Rating: 7.25

Hits Different
Pop Rating
Singability: 9
Danceability: 10
Enjoyment: 7
The Smooch Factor: 0
The Surprise Factor: 5
Average Pop Rating: 7.75

Comments: It’s pretty standard really, something of a disappointment up to “Anti-hero”, which I know, so it’s not the pleasant surprise I had hoped, but still the best of three anyway. Well the next one is pretty great, when Lana del Rey joins her for “Sex on the Beach” sorry “Snow on the Beach” (would have been more interesting had it been the former but oh well), nice breathy vocal and a softer approach, would you call it the first ballad? I would. “Vigilante Shit” isn’t the embarrassment I expected it to be, as Swift tries trap or slow rap or whatever the hell it’s called; actually works quite well as a sort of self-deprecating deal. Not bad at all, the tired sort of frustrated vocal tying the whole thing together well. Could do without the autotune (curse it to hell, though on pop albums I suppose I have to expect it) on “Midnight Rain”, and “Bejeweled” is pretty throwaway but “Labyrinth” is light years better. “Karma is really good too, very catchy and I like the way it’s constructed. I didn’t rate the last two tracks as they’re just remixes of ones I’ve already rated.

What is my opinion now, after listening? It’s decent, sure, but is it a classic, or does it deserve to have got to number one? In the world of pop, maybe, who knows? I think it has too many weak tracks, though the good ones do mostly make up for that. It’s not as dancy as I would have expected a pop album to be. Feel there’s more than a little country in here. A bit of a surprise, though I doubt it would make me a fan right away. Some promise, certainly.
Favourite tracks (if any): Anti-hero, Snow on the Beach, Labyrinth, Karma
Album Pop Rating: 5.41
Personal rating: 6/10