Does this count as a more interesting Title than some variation of "Hello, I'm new"
 

Hello, I'm new.

I have basically no idea how to start introducing myself so I shall take the easy way out and say what is recommended in the newcomers guide.

My name is indeed Josh, I can neither think of a witty enough substitute nor do I want to introduce myself properly, once I feel like it, to every last one of you so why not offer clues for identity thieves?

I am in my early 20s... No wait, don't leave the page! I HATE most young people nowadays, I would rather be grouped with Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino pointing a gun at young'uns and throwing around racial epithets than be considered another Hipster so far up their own ass they think everyone else is up their own butt themselves.

I come from... Sigh... Aus- "Stone the crows, Carn the Pies, toss another shrimp on the barby, she'll be right mate" -tralia. Yes, this is an invitation to be racist in a delightfully acceptable way so please, give me your best shot.

Finally, after many dreadful attempts to be funny we come to the be all and end all... What music do I like.

Well, I seriously doubt that many will continue reading after they read the next word. Classical.

Yes I'm worse than a Nazi! A Pedophile! A Furry or even the hypothetical child of Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump who, having grown up, runs for office on a platform of nuking the Eastern Seaboard and calling it "Tax Deductible" (No, I don't know how that works but that won't stop you idiots from voting them in)

But seriously, despite being the spawn of hell and having no chance of finding many (any) like-minded Satanists here I do hope to both expand my musical horizons and reconnect with old loves like Grunge, Alternative Rock and Blues.

So okay, you've suffered long enough, I promise I wont ever make such a concerted effort to be funny again...




Parhaps this post will gain a sort of notoriety though, like Plan 9 or The Room...

Welcome Josh from a fellow strayan. Can't say I've delved much into classical. I do like Arvo Part and a bit of Gorecki but beyond that I'm pretty clueless.

Thanks Stephen, I actually looked up Arvo Part as I've not heard much by him lately and found a lovely little piece. Thanks ;) If you want to talk classical or anything else any time I'd be happy to. I even see you live in Melbourne, not to give away too much more to identity thieves but I hail from there also.

Do you own a hat with corks hanging off it?

Can I have some of your drugs?

@monkeytennis No, do you own one of those even stupider hats worn by the English guards?

@DeadChannel Not unless you're willing to pay. A lot.

You on about them beefeater hats?

Yes. I use it as a draft excluder.

Welcome btw.

thanks monkeytennis, good luck with your terrible food over there :)

Hey, indeed Josh.

Here's none of the above but close enough to all of them...

That's some pretty good stuff Batlord, especially the first one, I also really loved some High on Fire you posted on your Epic Journal.

Now It probably may seem to you like it needs a little distortion and a little more hardcoriness but if you're interested you can take a listen to this truly ancient example of the Metal Artform. Unfortunately this video cannot be embedded, this has nothing to do with the fact I can't link URLs yet but rather the pure ancient power steeped in this artefact from another time... I'm afraid you must search for it yourself...

Liszt - Totentanz (abridged, Cziffra / Benzi)

You mean this? I'll listen to it in a minute.

This Unholy embed is nothing short of proof that you are, in fact, the antichrist. ALL HAIL THE BATLORD!

By the way, you may want to skip a bit around the 3 minute mark to about 6 minutes in, there's a slow bit, but who knows perhaps you'll appreciate a lull in the Dance of Death.

I told you to stay away from the heroine. Did you listen? No. But welcome anyway. I am going to kill you though.

By the way Ki, where did you get Total Recall Trump?

Ask your mom. I have her number if you need it.

Yeah, that kind of joke only works when it sort of makes sense...

Actually wait, it only works if you travel back in time to when it was cool as well, rather than the most tired, lame, impotent ****ing joke since The United Nations.

This thread needs a good conspiracy theory... Anyone else think Josh is really Coulter?!

That's not what your mom told me last night.

Never. I don't think I'll ever be able to quit dat Wonder Woman.

You got me, my grand plan was to come to you once again, this time pretending to be a classical loving loveable ******* but slowly yet surely turn into an unoriginal self-promoting douchebag.

Where's Roxy when you need here? Oracle pls.

You know what? I'm proud of that typo. Makes the post that much more hilarious.

"Pls" is just as insulting as "thx" an even more insulting than "sry."... Like, "I really would really appreciate this favor I'm about to annoy you with, but not enough to type three whole vowels."

Also its "plz" not "pls".

****in scrub.

Sry Chels, forgive me pls nd thx.

It's Key not Ki you little bitch.

You are as dead to me as DWV.

"Chels"? I like it. Bookmarked and saved.

Oh look at me, I put two "y"'s in my name. I'm so original and clever.

Or, maybe, just maybe, Qwerty was already taken. Who knows? Oh wait... I do.