The (hobo)Jesus Springer show
 

Ladies and gentlemen (and MURDER JUNKIE) welcome to the (hobo)Jesus Springer show! In an act of sheer boredom (2 more hours till I go out...my soul is slipping away) I have created this here thread for you all to enjoy! (hopefully).

So here's how it goes...

Tell us a problem, and Jesus Springer (me) will try too help you with it! There will be audience participation allowed, and we shall deal with one problem at a time. Don't all come rushing at once! When I have decided that I've had enough with the one problem I'll simply post NEXT and then someone else must jump in with one of their problems. Good, harmless fun. And if it does get a bit too rowdy I've got a coupla bodyguards on standby to smack yo bitches down!!!

Begin...

I have a problem with this thread.

Okay. Here's my advice.






































**** YOU.






EDIT: NEXT!

coffeeshop...it's the 'Lounge' and just a bit of fun.

hobo...chill out.

I want to go out and get a coffee, but my car is across town cuz I was too drunk to drive yesturday

Twas a joke. My silly sense of humour is obviously not being recognised today. I think from now on I should finish all of my posts with this....




JOKE

As most of my posts are a joke anyways.

So, problems please... let's not ruin this thread before it's 5th post.

How far away is the nearest coffee house/shop that sells coffee? Is there a bus route to there?

oh, just remembered the wife's car. Back soon

Next.

Haha I was just testing ya. I'll happily supply coffee for all!

To late now. MURDER's gone. We don't want your stinkin' coffee BITCH!

:)

All better now...

Mmmm the coffee's delicious, I really should have gotten a donut though :(

Go back and get another one.... problem solved.


NEXT

Don't you think right-track looks like Lee Ranaldo from Sonic Youth?

Which is which?

:)

http://members.tripod.com/adm/interstitial/remote.jpg
right track does look a lot like words :rolleyes:

The first link is right-track. The second link is an advertisement for an image company called 'tripod'.

NEXT

Damn stupid tripod, there it's hosted on imageshack. :P

I'm the one with more talent, but less money.

I don't see any personal problems in that. I'd like to speak for hobojesus and say NEXT!

But I won't.

my tongue tastes funny, even after i brushed my teeth. im suspecting its the chocolate. and im getting this weird pimple colony on my chin. and i dont trust those anti-pimple cream things, just writing that makes me sick.

Hobojesus isn't answering, so I'll advise you. If your tongue tastes funnily of chocolate and you are getting to many pimples... then eat less chocolate.

You can send the chocolate you don't eat to me if you like.

Next.

What will the score be in the England vs. TNT game?? I have to go see my bookie on Tuesday

Smart money is on 2-0. Lampard to get a double. NEXT.

Nahh 3 : 0

^ Wow, thats what i would have said.

Anyhoo.....
er, what shade of red should i die my hair? I'm thinking dark tulip.

What colour is your hair now?

I say don't. I've seen your hair and I like it if you dye it, it won't go completely back to the way it is.

Its brownish/dirty blonde.
I dunno, if its a red it shouldnt be too different, people go around calling me a ginger anyway.
But if you're too concerned i won't, don't want to upset me fans..

ha. well, if anything do a deep a dark red, that's my opinion atleast.

Done.

Well I'm no expert with hair, so I'll just let the loyal audience have the last say.... you shouldn't dye your hair! NEXT.