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-   -   Recently Uncovered Facts About the Chris Benoit Case (https://www.musicbanter.com/lounge/23965-recently-uncovered-facts-about-chris-benoit-case.html)

sleepy jack 07-22-2007 12:34 AM

Recently Uncovered Facts About the Chris Benoit Case
 
Guns don't kill people. Chris Benoit kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chris Benoit allows to live.
Chris Benoit not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chris Benoit is Pain.
There is no chin under Chris Benoit's Beard. There is only another fist.
Chris Benoit has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chris Benoit 3. Cancer
Chris Benoit drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chris Benoit is my Homeboy.
Chris Benoit doesn't go hunting.... CHRIS BENOIT GOES KILLING
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chris Benoit.
Chris Benoit doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chris Benoit.
Chris Benoit is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chris Benoit is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chris Benoit counted to infinity - twice.
When Chris Benoit does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chris Benoit is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chris Benoit hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chris Benoit can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chris Benoit doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chris Benoit gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chris Benoit can slam a revolving door.
Chris Benoit does not get frostbite. Chris Benoit bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Chris Benoit wrestle on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Christatorship.
Chris Benoit house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was Chris Benoit? ...All of it.
Chris Benoit CAN believe it's not butter.
In honor of Chris Benoit, all McDonald's in Canada have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chrissized.
When Chris Benoit has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

Sparky 07-22-2007 01:13 AM

you just took all the chuck norris jokes and replaced his name with chris benoit >: [

CAPTAIN CAVEMAN 07-22-2007 02:40 AM

I downloaded a ROM of the original Oregon Trail. I named the people of my party:

Benoit
Bronson
Eastwood
Walken
and Cosby.

Benoit was the only one to never get sick or hurt.

This is a fact.

dirt mcgirt 07-22-2007 09:58 PM

ayo son, that list hell out o date.
get wif tha news, chris benoit is ****in dead.














an his wife an kid.















an steve irwin














an anna nicole smiff















an christofer reeve















an harry potter

sleepy jack 07-22-2007 11:49 PM

HARRY DIES?

**** YOU ***GOT

way to spoil it!

Frances 07-22-2007 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 382197)
HARRY DIES?

**** YOU ***GOT

way to spoil it!

Damn, I didn't even realise he'd given it away! Now I hate you both.:nono:

MURDER JUNKIE 07-23-2007 08:05 AM

Dirt fucking rules!!!!

Harry Potter is for queers

joyboyo53 07-23-2007 08:33 AM

he dies? sweet. that actually makes me wanna read it. i just saw the most recent movie and it was weak. it was more kid-themed than ever. i want that little punk to get zapped.

right-track 07-23-2007 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MURDER JUNKIE (Post 382241)

Harry Potter is for queers

w0rd. ^

Quote:

Originally Posted by adidasss (Post 84874)
i'm planning on reading the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy this summer ( and of course the latest harry potter....hehe...)


;)

anticipation 07-23-2007 04:24 PM

dood, harry doesn't die, nubs.





he gets breast implants.


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