Inform me? I don't see how I could fail at breathing smoke

you should just keep breathing in as long as you can hold it. you will definitely inhale that way! or you could just breathe in for like 3 seconds.

It is pretty hard to grasp at first. Believe me. It's not like breathing really. You have to kinda put effort into it...

I always tell people, breath in once, and then breath in again.. simple as that. I can see how it might be confusing when you're trying to master the use of a carb.. but with a blunt or a joint there really shouldn't be any excuses.

very very acurate actually.

The first time I ever got high was right before my 11th birthday, and about a week before my first day of middle school. Hell of a way to start middle school, I might add. In 5th grade, I got straight As, except for one B in the third quarter. 6th grade was much different; Ds and Cs galore.
Anyhoot, it was with my older brother and one of our neighbors. We went over to his house and he had a pipe and everything. He just let us hit it once or twice and then we went on our way. Now I've heard a lot of people say that they didn't get high their first time. Not me. I went home and watched The Superfriends and I was laughing like an imbecile at the sound it made when the Apache dude would grow to giant proportions. You know, that "Gac-gac-gac-gac-gac-gac-gac-gac" sound? That shit had me rolling!

first time i got really ripped i watched listened to mew...was amazed by the music..then stuck on some anime called samurai shamploo. holy **** that was messed up. then everything was moving like stop motion animation. then i went and had some sex. it was a really good first time to get blitzed.

I think I didn't cough because I'm pretty used to swallowing while smoking. I felt all my lungs burn, was going to cough, but then kept everything in.

The first time I did weed was around 2 in the afternoon some random day in uni, and I was coughing blood the morning before, but I really wanted to try it out... so I just kind of did it =/

Good stuff.

Again with the swallowing. Am I misunderstanding you here, or do you actually swallow the smoke? If so, why?