Hahha christians (house, rock, American, quote, Ching)

sleepy jack · 11-16-2007, 10:55 PM

Teen Masturbation: Advice For Parents - Operation Infinite Purity - WHITEHOUSE.ORG

I can't decide which I like better out of rock music = masturbation or being liberal = masturbation. Post your favorites.

sleepy jack · 11-16-2007, 10:58 PM

"Insist that your children wear boxing gloves to bed. Boxing gloves are nearly impossible to remove without assistance. If you do this you can sleep soundly, knowing that your children aren't on the other side of the wall touching their smelly little giblets in an impure fashion. "

The Dave · 11-16-2007, 11:01 PM

This one was pretty good: Does your child wear fashionable clothing or hairstyles? If your child can't resist the peer pressure to look a certain way, he or she probably can't resist the peer pressure to masturbate, either.

So yes, we must all shop at good will.

Also, this one was more of a "duh" than anything else:
Have you caught your child masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down stroking his erect penis, he's probably masturbating.

Joshee · 11-17-2007, 07:06 AM

I think it's a parody.
:S

holdyoualways · 11-17-2007, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill

"Insist that your children wear boxing gloves to bed. Boxing gloves are nearly impossible to remove without assistance. If you do this you can sleep soundly, knowing that your children aren't on the other side of the wall touching their smelly little giblets in an impure fashion. "

smelly little giblets
...

anticipation · 11-17-2007, 10:05 AM

"it is not healthy for a teen to desire privacy."

truer words were never spoken.

swim · 11-17-2007, 12:01 PM

Scientifically test your children for signs of masturbation. The same liberal naysayers who insist we can't build a missile shield scoffed until they were bleeding when the Americans for Purity group revealed that scientists were hard at work on an test that would reveal signs of masturbation in your children, but it's here. TeenScreenTM scientifically detects a protein enzyme produced by the male prostate gland to reveal traces of semen on clothing, sheets, ceilings, keyboards, Saltines, etc.

lol

cocaine white · 11-17-2007, 12:11 PM

^ haha, yeah, i was like, "uh. what?"

also, i really do enjoy the part about cutting all the underwear ads out of newspapers.

because they're SO attractive.

oh god.

Voice_of_the_Soul12,13,01 · 11-17-2007, 09:01 PM

I found this funnier.

http://www.sexisforf**s.com/no-sex.asp

Damn censors. It won't work.

Just copy and paste, I guess, and you can guess the word.

white_powered_zombie · 11-18-2007, 04:53 AM

Ah mr bush does it again eh,
and i can't guess the word soul12..

I stopped reading the prevention steps after step 2 as it was beyond funny and just sad that people actually think like this

11-17-2007, 12:01 PM	#7 (permalink)
swim dontcareaboutyou Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: North Carolina Posts: 5,188	Scientifically test your children for signs of masturbation. The same liberal naysayers who insist we can't build a missile shield scoffed until they were bleeding when the Americans for Purity group revealed that scientists were hard at work on an test that would reveal signs of masturbation in your children, but it's here. TeenScreenTM scientifically detects a protein enzyme produced by the male prostate gland to reveal traces of semen on clothing, sheets, ceilings, keyboards, Saltines, etc. lol __________________ http://nakednaps.bandcamp.com/

11-17-2007, 12:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
cocaine white bad blood. Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 70	^ haha, yeah, i was like, "uh. what?" also, i really do enjoy the part about cutting all the underwear ads out of newspapers. because they're SO attractive. oh god. __________________ *take a chance.*

11-17-2007, 09:01 PM	#9 (permalink)
Voice_of_the_Soul12,13,01 #1 Schuldinist. Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 420	I found this funnier. http://www.sexisforf**s.com/no-sex.asp Damn censors. It won't work. Just copy and paste, I guess, and you can guess the word. __________________ I don't mean to dwell But I can't help myself When I feel the vibe And taste a memory Of a time in life When years seemed to stand still

11-16-2007, 11:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
The Dave Me and The Major Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,830	This one was pretty good: Does your child wear fashionable clothing or hairstyles? If your child can't resist the peer pressure to look a certain way, he or she probably can't resist the peer pressure to masturbate, either. So yes, we must all shop at good will. Also, this one was more of a "duh" than anything else: Have you caught your child masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down stroking his erect penis, he's probably masturbating.

11-17-2007, 07:06 AM	#4 (permalink)
Joshee Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Under a big top. Posts: 142	I think it's a parody. :S

11-17-2007, 10:05 AM	#6 (permalink)
anticipation Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 3,565	"it is not healthy for a teen to desire privacy." truer words were never spoken.

11-18-2007, 04:53 AM	#10 (permalink)
white_powered_zombie Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Australia, Tasmania Posts: 106	Ah mr bush does it again eh, and i can't guess the word soul12.. I stopped reading the prevention steps after step 2 as it was beyond funny and just sad that people actually think like this