MusicBanter News Desk

right-track · 08-11-2008, 05:08 PM

BONG...lucifer_Sam agrees to host a genre Introductions thread, enrol here; http://www.musicbanter.com/announcem...y-threads.html...BONG...Yes are set to become the first band to fail in the MusicBanter Hall of Fame nominations poll. boo boo distraught. Moderators mobilise suicide watch...BONG...The 100 Things That Pisses Me Off About Music thread reaches fever pitch.

And finally...sleepy jack hasn't logged in for 5 days despite not posting an "I'm leaving forever" thread. Rumours to his whereabouts abound.

Son of JayJamJah · 08-11-2008, 05:14 PM

THIS JUST IN: a source close to Sleepy Jack (Ethan himself) that he would be out of town for a while, 2 weeks I believe.

Also, who hired the Anchor of this news cast? A face for radio if ever there was one.

jackhammer · 08-11-2008, 05:16 PM

BONG..Richard from Guernsey lights the torch paper and watches MB go up in smoke BONG.. In a rare interview, Jackhammer tells the world what it's like to post sober on MB BONG... Parliament to take sub genre banning to the house of lords and in an exclusive VT still shots of female members drive the pre-pubescent boys into their hankies.

right-track · 08-11-2008, 05:23 PM

BREAKING NEWS...jackhammer reaches milestone 5,000th post with an incredible 10.87 average posts per day return. A post whoring feat not accomplished since the heady days of MisfitsPunk.

jackhammer · 08-11-2008, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

BREAKING NEWS...jackhammer reaches milestone 5,000th post with an incredible 10.87 posts per day return. A post whoring feat not accomplished since the heady days of MisfitsPunk.

We have to return to MB headquarters with the announcement that the management has questioned the amount of jackhammer's posts due to the words 'Sade', 'I hate sub genres', 'fave' and 'Pink Floyd' appearing far too frequently. One MB insider has been overheard as saying "Those god damn limeys think they own the fucking place". Once again Ethan was unavailable for comment.

swim · 08-11-2008, 06:15 PM

I MISS ETAN!

WWWP · 08-11-2008, 10:29 PM

Inorite?

Laces Out Dan! · 08-11-2008, 10:45 PM

This is gonna keep me entertained, keep it up Manc.

right-track · 08-12-2008, 03:08 PM

Ethan Update: The mystery deepens.
An unknown spokesman close to sleepy jack claims he may be in hiding from an irate ex girlfriend who threatened him with sex.
Concerns were raised following reports of his final words to his parents being, "I'm just off out to stare at the stars in the night sky and gaze upon the birds leaving beautiful traces of lost memories, while I lay, alone, in the soft, long timeless grass of hope".
His mother said she wasn't duely concerned, but he left without taking his coat.
Other rumours and speculation include that he may have been kidnapped by an online paedophile ring specifically targeting emo's and reports of two separate sightings of him working as a checkout girl at a Michigan Walmart store are being investigated by MB moderators.

The heretic Urban Hatemonger, recently charged with blasphemy, is to be charged and tried under MusicBanter law of Vinyl Abuse.
If found guilty, he will be sentenced to 'death by stylus'.

jackhammer · 08-12-2008, 03:35 PM

BONG...booboo's shoelaces and belt have been confiscated due to the worryingly disenchanted nature of his 'Yes' related posts BONG the long forgotten tale of Tool drummer Danny Carey's midgets has resurfaced but no one has confirmed this story as nobody has ever seen these midgets (they are small init?) posters in the Metal forum are monitoring the situation closely and finally ... the introductory thread http://www.musicbanter.com/announcem...threads-3.html has descended into pornographic chat with captain caveman quoting that he can do hardcore and PMO retorted with 'fill in holes when I need to'. Last but not least we have recieved a photo claiming to be of Ethan:

but we cannot verify this at this time.

08-11-2008, 05:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	MusicBanter News Desk BONG...lucifer_Sam agrees to host a genre Introductions thread, enrol here; http://www.musicbanter.com/announcem...y-threads.html...BONG...Yes are set to become the first band to fail in the MusicBanter Hall of Fame nominations poll. boo boo distraught. Moderators mobilise suicide watch...BONG...The 100 Things That Pisses Me Off About Music thread reaches fever pitch. And finally...sleepy jack hasn't logged in for 5 days despite not posting an "I'm leaving forever" thread. Rumours to his whereabouts abound.

08-11-2008, 05:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
jackhammer Ba and Be. Join Date: May 2007 Location: This Is England Posts: 17,331	BONG..Richard from Guernsey lights the torch paper and watches MB go up in smoke BONG.. In a rare interview, Jackhammer tells the world what it's like to post sober on MB BONG... Parliament to take sub genre banning to the house of lords and in an exclusive VT still shots of female members drive the pre-pubescent boys into their hankies. __________________ It be my music and film collection. “A cynic by experience, a romantic by inclination and now a hero by necessity.”

08-11-2008, 06:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
swim dontcareaboutyou Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: North Carolina Posts: 5,188	I MISS ETAN! __________________ http://nakednaps.bandcamp.com/

08-11-2008, 10:45 PM	#8 (permalink)
Laces Out Dan! I love Puck Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,614	This is gonna keep me entertained, keep it up Manc. __________________ We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.

08-12-2008, 03:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
jackhammer Ba and Be. Join Date: May 2007 Location: This Is England Posts: 17,331	BONG...booboo's shoelaces and belt have been confiscated due to the worryingly disenchanted nature of his 'Yes' related posts BONG the long forgotten tale of Tool drummer Danny Carey's midgets has resurfaced but no one has confirmed this story as nobody has ever seen these midgets (they are small init?) posters in the Metal forum are monitoring the situation closely and finally ... the introductory thread http://www.musicbanter.com/announcem...threads-3.html has descended into pornographic chat with captain caveman quoting that he can do hardcore and PMO retorted with 'fill in holes when I need to'. Last but not least we have recieved a photo claiming to be of Ethan: but we cannot verify this at this time. __________________ It be my music and film collection. “A cynic by experience, a romantic by inclination and now a hero by necessity.”

08-11-2008, 05:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	BREAKING NEWS...jackhammer reaches milestone 5,000th post with an incredible 10.87 average posts per day return. A post whoring feat not accomplished since the heady days of MisfitsPunk.

08-12-2008, 03:08 PM	#9 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	Ethan Update: The mystery deepens. An unknown spokesman close to sleepy jack claims he may be in hiding from an irate ex girlfriend who threatened him with sex. Concerns were raised following reports of his final words to his parents being, "I'm just off out to stare at the stars in the night sky and gaze upon the birds leaving beautiful traces of lost memories, while I lay, alone, in the soft, long timeless grass of hope". His mother said she wasn't duely concerned, but he left without taking his coat. Other rumours and speculation include that he may have been kidnapped by an online paedophile ring specifically targeting emo's and reports of two separate sightings of him working as a checkout girl at a Michigan Walmart store are being investigated by MB moderators. The heretic Urban Hatemonger, recently charged with blasphemy, is to be charged and tried under MusicBanter law of Vinyl Abuse. If found guilty, he will be sentenced to 'death by stylus'.