Common home remedies...
 

I will start

Baking soda and water mixed kill upset stomach...

Hangover cure: More alcohol.

Kill hiccups by placing a standard white paper towel over a tall glass of water and drinking the entire glass quickly through the paper towel. I swear to god it works every time.

Weird

Shaving cream gets red wine out of the carpet.

I put this Cold Remedy together:

INGREDIENTS
1 1/2 cup cold water
1 TBSP loose mint tea (1 bag)
2 TBSP Traditional Medicines' Cold Care, or any type of teas for colds, sore throats, etc.
1/4 TSP cayenne Pepper
1 TSP ground ginger, or a couple of slices of fresh ginger (I prefer fresh)
1 TBSP sea salt (very crucial, so if you don't have SEA salt, use regular salt)
1/2 TSP Eucalyptus oil, or if you have leaves, crush a few up and use that
1 TBSP honey (optional)

Directions
DO NOT DRINK THIS.
Boil your salt and water on high. Stir in everything else but the eucalyptus oil,
reduce your heat to simmer and cover for 20-30 mins. Then, add your
eucalyptus oil, cover again and wait 5-10 minutes.

Alright, so while you're waiting, grab a big blanket or comforter,
something to stir the mixture with, and a pillow.
Find a spacious place to sit, like the floor. Take the mixture, while its
still hot in the pot with the lid closed to your desired area. Place the pillow on your lap
(in you're sitting on a chair or couch) and on the floor if you're sitting on
the floor. Pull the blanket over your head AND the pot and open the lid.
Start by cracking it a little bit to get the steam coming out. Close it if
it's too much, and stir it to produce more steam.
Do this for about 10-15 minutes under the blanket and you should feel golden.

This mixture is reusable and will last up to a week. It is important that when
you reheat this mixture, you do it on LOW heat because when over-boiled
and burnt, it emits a terrible gas. Also, you can add more water if you'd like.

Hope you guys enjoy it. I use it when I feel a cold coming on and it
usually shortens the life-span of my cold. I like it because it doesn't
completely stop a cold, it just makes it more bearable. It's important
to let yourself get sick and pretty much stick it out to the end. That
way your immune system can stay up to date and in good shape.

The one that seems to work for me is getting someone to hold your palm, lightly pressing it, while counting. They're normally gone by 8.

Do you think your it all in your head... No the hiccups of course but the idea of taking them away...

I think it's probably down to coincidence if anything.

peeing on jelly fish stings

Strangely enough, I have a pretty effective home remedy that works with all the above issues:

Upset stomach: More beer
Hiccups : More beer
Cold : More beer
Jellyfish sting : More beer

Gross, buuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppp but its working

Ok I need to retract my remedy regarding the Jellyfish.

Turns out, you need more pee.
And that's where the beer comes in.

pissing on your feet cure s athlete's foot.

Whoa... Does that mean that pissing your pants cures jock itch?
Cause if so, I've got a hell of a commercial idea...

You're going to market piss?

Why, I think you're on to something ...

Um. No.

Holding your breath to cure hiccups.. It works.

No It doesn't and that awful advice. I used to work at Stanley Steemer and you would be amazed at some of the ridiculous things people tried to use on their own carpet. All I could do sometimes was shake my head at these people. Do not use shaving cream, you can buy a bottle of red wine remover from your local SS or other cleaning company for around 9 dollars american.

The red wine remover doesn't actually remove the red wine substance from the rugh, therefore requiring no method of extraction. Rather, it creates a chemical reaction with the wine and the rug that turns the wine 'invisible'. Making it match the color of the rug so its not visible.

Shaving cream WILL NOT remove anything from carpet (except your warranty), all it may do is foam up the area of the stain and cover it with a facade of soad residue. Which will eventually attract soil back to the spot and hold it like a magnet due to the spots elevated ph level.

Hey Crash,
I'm working on a house to sell it and I'm almost at the point where I'll be calling Stanley Steamer, but this carpet is EFFED up big time. No blood or fecal matter or anything like that, but there are a lot of deep stains.
What's the likelihood that all of it will come out?
I'm going to get a quote for 3 rooms, probably looking at around 2-300 dollars I'm guessing, but I'm wondering if it'd be better to re-carpet.

Any advice?

Edit:
The carpet is medium gray and fluffy, for lack of a better term.

Damn. I'm sorry that i offended your carpet expertise with that shaving cream remark; however, I have tried this myself with FRESHLY spilt wine. I appreciate your thoughtful suggestions and comments, but there is no need to trash mine. It wasn't something I simply heard - I tried it.

As for the piss marketing - sarcasm, people, sarcasm. I am not trying to fu.ck with anyone.

Ok well first of all, let me start my saying. Your expectations are the main thing here. Seconded by the nature of the stains. Are they soda, beer, wine, soap stains from self cleaning etc.? Anything red is not going anywhere, forget that. Along with things that contain dyes or tannin acids. These things, if left untreated for an extended period of time, can find their way into tiny micro scopic holes found in carpet fibers (nylon) that are normally called 'dye sites'. This is where they insert the dyes of the carpet to begin with, then they add the stain and dry soil protector apllications, thus filling these dye sites. Now keep in mind these dye sites are meant to retain these colors under extremely excruciating conditions and once you develop
a traffic pattern or just wear in general, you are essentially stripping the protective coating from the fibers, which leaves the dyes sites vulnerable to the extreme abrasion that a sandpaper like substance we like to call soil. Now soil abrades these fibers causing the 'sheen', or shiny appearance of the general area of the carpet to fade, resulting in the faded areas in your walkways we call traffic patterns.

Now back to the stains. Like I said, once these dye sites are exposed with the protective coating removed, foreign dyes and other staining substances can find their way in to these dye sites. Which, like i said are meant to retain what they take in at any cost. If your rug has gotten to this point, then some stains might not be effected by a cleaning at all. But like I said before, your expectations are the most important determining factor here. If you expect it to look new, buy new. But if you expect it to be clean, and livable. Then call Steemer. You can expect to spend anywhere from 120 - 140 dollars american, depending on your area. Thats just for cleaning, as extra products won't be necessary as you are selling the home. They will give you that price over the phone, keep in mind rooms over 330 sq. ft. count as two areas. SS also does all their spot treating for free. So that can save you big money compared to other services.

In conclusion I say, if you want your carpet to look new, buy new. But depending on your stains and what they are (im expecting you to get back with me on this) you may be able to "save" the rug for a fraction of the price.

Its ok, it is not the worst thing ive heard of people doing to their carpet. Believe me. It gets pretty ridiculous sometimes. I used to joke we should have our own reality show lol.

I think the stains are mainly soda, wet food, non-red juices, and wet shoe debris. I never lived there, so I can't say for sure.
There is no wear on the carpet in terms of color loss.
I don't need the carpet to look new, but clean and livable is a must. The stains themselves are of great contrast to the carpet, and potential buyers just won't agree to the asking price knowing they'll have to do work. If Stanley Steamer can get things at least homogeneous looking, it's a start.
200 dollars is affordable to at least see whether more drastic measures are necessary.
I'm showing the house in 14 days, so as soon as I finish re-flooring one of the bedrooms, I'm getting the outside pressure washed and the carpets cleaned, which will be the last item. If I end up having to replace any carpet, it's going to screw with my time line. that's why I was asking your advice.

Thanks.
:)

Ginger works as a motion sickness medicine if your opposed to drugs or don't have time to get medicine.
And there's always the Essential Oils.
Go look them up, their the oils taken from plants in which they make medicine out of, but their all natural and not harmful. You could drink a whole bottle and be fine. And they all do different things too.
Like Eucalyptus is the base for Vicks, and works just as well and is more natural, and there is no limit.
Also their very good pro-biotics, and helpful with Reflexology (which isn't utter crap, it's real and helps).
(this is a long post, I'll shut up now.)