Damn, even programmers find it tough. I'm glad it's not just me.

Browsers!

Life hack: take off your clothes before you get into the shower.

Then you waste water with a washing machine.

Nah I keep my clothes on before I get in the washing machine.

But then your shirt buttons burn your nipples in the dryer.

My clothes aren't fitted, but they aren't that baggy, ****.

Even better is when they do it with soiled cat litter.

Dog still gets fed at least.

There is a disproportionate number of British Youtube video narrators who are both useless and have irritating voices.

Link to some?

No. I'm not tracking down terrible British Youtubers for your amusement.

But this was the video that chapped my ass today. I really just hated his voice.

Sounds like a nasal toff cunt.

Mindfulness you ever heard of Serge Nubret?

Yeah I was just thinking about his training routine. Guy ate something like 2kg of horse meat a day. Trained six days a week working each muscle group twice per week with high rep low rest between sets. Finished 2nd in the 1975 Mr. Olympia to Schwarzenegger despite having been excluded from the competition for association with softcore porn. He maintained that he was natural as well.

I remember I was doing his routine a few years ago and it is unbelievably difficult. Didn't have the horse meat though, you can't get that here.

Anyway he died a few years ago, RIP Serge.

Are/were you ripped, bruv?

I have a tremendous physique.

In a batlordy way?

Probably not :D

There are those who covet my nipples.

Pics.

No.

What does softcore porn have to do with any of this.

Oh. Interesting.

I think it was softcore porn anyway. Along those lines. They didn't want their athletes associated with that sort of thing.

I think my retarded coworker might be evil. I drew a condensation dick on the glass door of my store and after a mild verbal altercation he snitched on me. I could pass this off as him being a snitcher in general but the sheer smugness with which he gazed upon me afterward leads me to believe that we now have a friendly war going on. I am hamstrung by this as he doesn't do things that I do that are eminently snitchable, but as a... non-retard I suppose I do have the benefit of greater versatility. This is not over.

To be perfectly honest I'm rather proud of my coworker for ****ting on me so decisively. I didn't know he had it in him.

Tell him that Windex is store brand gatorade.

It's BK. Nobody would notice if he disappeared. And nobody would notice if the meat tasted slightly worse than usual.

Just sayin'.

Is he fatter than you?

Told on you for drawing a cock? Sounds a right cunt.

He will listen to literally nothing you tell him. I tried telling him that Surge was Mountain Dew with pee in it and he didn't believe me even thought that is factually correct.

Convince him of something entirely reasonable so that he does the opposite, then.

Oh my yes. It's half my basis for mocking him.

I think I've been giving him practice for being a bad person tbh. He's a nice guy. He seems to be getting less nice.

I can convince him of literally nothing at this point. That boat has sailed. He rightfully considers anything I tell him to be a lie.

So flip it on him.

"Sticking a metal fork into an electrical outlet will **** you up."
"Not gonna buy it, Chuckie."
BK now sells fried fingers

"That lady told me that she doesn't want to see your peepee."

It's literally to the point where if he doesn't immediately understand what I'm telling him that he just tells me to shut up. He tells me to shut up all day. Sometimes I can't even get the sentence out even when I'm saying something about actual work and he tells me to shut up. It's rather ingenious tbh. You can't be fooled by someone you're telling to shut up.

There are times when I legit need to ask him something and him telling me to shut up qualifies as trolling me. Those are my favorite times.

Whelp. He's outsmarted me.

In elementary school I was one of the smartest kids in the class, so a girl asked me how to spell out a note that she would give to her mom after school along the lines of "I love you mom" or something like that. I told her how to spell "**** you mom" and I got suspended for a week.

Hope this is true.