bruh
https://assets.stickpng.com/images/5...0004aa684b.png

Did somebody bring in an old meth addicted prostitute from the homeless shelter? Cause that's some sad pussy.

But surely you'd like to experience a BRAND NEW torture maze with lots of festive special features.

As long as I get a tshirt to let people know I atoned for my man sins.

https://i.ibb.co/58KjPRV/reface-2020-12-20-10-41-05.gif

https://i.ibb.co/CQ2z8f1/reface-2020-12-20-10-42-57.gif

Is that goddamn Legend of the Seeker in the first gif? :laughing:

Probably. IDK

No, no tshirt. (Though for a small fee you can have a hologram of your father apologize to you at the end of the maze) You will instead be invited to recuperate in the MB ketamine infusion spa slash cat cafe while I continue stomping around outside the maze (in an Oops I Did It Again music video esque dominatrix outfit and giant and extremely noisy robot legs) to make sure nobody has escaped.

Birds singing in the sycamore tree.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/5da3208d...4qppo1_540.png
https://64.media.tumblr.com/4732a561...qppo3_540.gifv

:laughing:

The South seems simultaneously so cursed and blessed, I can't wrap my head around it

"The southern waitress you work with telling a story full of n..."

Was expecting something much different when I clicked

Civilized folk are predictable and unthreatening. Country folk don't have that problem.

yeah, it seems that a large part of it is the fact that overly polished manners lose a lot of quaintness and charm

Alright so let's say I start a private company scavenger hunt with a cash prize. Like one of those super professional ones where you have to sign a waiver cause you'll have to scale a sheer cliff to find out you have to find your next clue diving with sharks.

Let's say my last required item is Bigfoot milk. Can I be sued?

A big part of it is the history of slavery. Blood soaked but jazz and blues. And the heat makes people insane. And southern literature. The food. Delicious and deadly. We’re by far the most exotic, frightening, and culturally rich people in America.

How is the milk to be acquired? Does Mr. Bigfoot buy it from a store and your contestant is suppose to steal it from his ice box? Or are you suggesting your contestant should acquire milk from the teat of Mrs. Bigfoot? The former, stealing a bottle of milk, usually does not end up in litigation. The latter however could, in the eyes of the law, be seen as tortuous conduct and therefore base on the merits of the case end up in court. And since it's your contest and you are requesting the Bigfoot milk, you would be legally entangled in the law suit.

Unless I’m having flip out I’m immaculately polite.

Is one legally held liable for the theft of milk from a goat?

polished is not the same as polite though

Dude you read that **** about slavery, jazz, and heat. He has no idea what he's talking about but has to say something cause he's trying to own Southerness.

Randy Emerick from Fort Lauderdale, Florida performing a Christmas tune he’s renamed “Angels We Have Heard on Low” on his contrabass saxophone.

... and the master himself ...

I am so dense (and also probably need to get my eyes checked, as my roommate insists. I just tell him I have soft-focused 'soap opera vision') ...
Was browsing the Williams-Sonoma website aimlessly, then went back to the categories menu and saw what I thought read "Ladies" so I clicked it while rolling my eyes thinking "ugh, why is there a lAyDiEs category. Let me guess, it's going to be pink and floral bakeware or something.." and then the page loaded and it was just SOUP LADLES so I looked at THAT and thought "Why is it just soup ladles?? How are soup ladles lady supplies?!?" for a good 10 seconds before realizing I had misread the ladles category as "ladies." (I have one of these episodes once per day on average)

Luke Smitherd?

The Man With All The Answers

idk... I just looked it up and found it funny

LOL this sounds like something I would do - both in procrastinating my optical health and in the ferocity with which I fight battles I create for myself.

Must be because we share the same sun sign, amiright Charles?

SMITHERED!!!

*air horns*

!!!

It surely must be because we share the same sun sign!! Clearly. *smiles serenely at Bat* (aquarius and aries are truly the best at creating dumb battles for ourselves; it's a talent)

I'm Leo and dumb battles are an absolute specialty. I'm assuming there isn't a sign for "easily suggestive goofball" since every sign has to be a compliment because astrology understands marketing.

I'm a cancer. That's a double entendre.

I almost included Leos too actually. But also, yes; all the signs are simultaneously everything also because marketing.
(Not that it matters BUT I have read that some indicators of having a goofball nature include things like having your moon in Cancer-- which I have-- and uhmm what else.. *googles* Sagittarians in general, allegedly, and aquarians, and strong Jupiter influence, and I'd assume a lot of water/air in one's chart?? ? But, at the same time, for instance people with a lot of Capricorn in certain placements tend to be very funny. Less goofy though perhaps. Taylor Swift is a Sag and she definitely has a half-concealed dorky sort of energy.)

I haven't been well acquainted with many Leos IRL. Only one I remember was a sword guy so there's that. (I am a bit of a 'sword guy' in spirit)

Like I said before, just google "cafeastrology free birth chart report" and google your various placements (such as Jupiter in the 1st house as I have) for lots of entertaining reads on all the bajillion astrology blogs and forums. I have this one particular placement (uh, Mars opposite Pluto or something?) and when I google it all the blogs are like "You are a BAD and EVIL person who only wants to FIGHT because of your VOLATILE CHILDHOOD oh and btw literally all these troubled boxers and dictators had this placement too, sooo..." etc but then ofc I google my Jupiter in the 1st house placement and the results are like "Soooo nice, just the nicest c: Expansive childlike energy c: So optimistic too c: " so idk.

Swords are awesome but to be a sword guy feels like it would require a mental energy I'm not prepared for. Not just for the collecting but just looking at my room and seeing the swords would require me to own that imagery internally and that sounds exhausting as well as embarassing.

Same with guns but at least I can fire guns and have a believable survivalist thing going on.

Swords are JUST nerdy though.

**** yeah!