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Old 01-23-2018, 11:43 AM   #481 (permalink)
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wut
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 01-23-2018, 11:45 AM   #482 (permalink)
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Somebody moved the OP. Perhaps they should move our posts to that thread too?


EDIT: Thanks
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Old 01-23-2018, 12:08 PM   #483 (permalink)
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Chula, will read when I have a mo. Do you want genuine feedback/criticism (constructive of course) or should I just say I love it?
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Old 01-23-2018, 12:11 PM   #484 (permalink)
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Chula, will read when I have a mo. Do you want genuine feedback/criticism (constructive of course) or should I just say I love it?
Well, I wrote this one when I was a wee lad and heavily influenced by Stephen King. I think the statute of limitations is up on genuine criticism considering the thing is 30 years old.

Just let me know if you dig it at all.
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Old 01-23-2018, 01:19 PM   #485 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Chula Vista View Post
Well, I wrote this one when I was a wee lad and heavily influenced by Stephen King. I think the statute of limitations is up on genuine criticism considering the thing is 30 years old.

Just let me know if you dig it at all.
That's fair enough. I'll check back with you later. I got a man falling from a high building dressed as a woman and Hitler being abducted by aliens to work on at the moment, but I'll make some time for your story.
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Old 01-23-2018, 03:16 PM   #486 (permalink)
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What a Piece of Work is Man: Three Tales of Humanity's Hubris

Manhattan Gothic

Spoiler for Manhattan Gothic, Part 1:
“On the contrary,” said the vampire, his long pale finger steepled together like some dour church awaiting its penitent adherents, “I think you’ll find that it is in fact I who have you where I want you.”

Stafford cursed himself, but made an effort not to allow it to show on his face. The bastard was right: he had tricked him into sacrificing his bishop, and now his cause did indeed look hopeless. He tried to read his opponent’s intentions, gauge his mood in his eyes, but that too proved to be a mistake. If the eyes are indeed the windows of the soul, then those windows are firmly shuttered and locked if their owner does not possess one. A soul, that is. And everyone knew that vampires were soulless creatures.

Well, technically, he corrected himself, everyone knew vampires do not exist.

Especially him.

God knows, he had made enough money writing about them. His Gray Hunter series had topped the bestseller lists, and had already spawned two blockbuster Hollywood movies, with options on a television series being discussed for the last six months. He was a celebrated author, a writer of horror fiction with a tinge of mythology and a good healthy smattering of sex and gory violence (what, after all, was any vampire novel without sex and blood?) that had bought him beachfront property in Florida, Barbados and the Cayman Islands. He attended conventions (how he hated them!) where his fans dressed like his characters, each one believing he was the greatest authority - other than he himself - on his work, and some of the prettier ones - males as well as females; like his central character, he wasn’t fussy about who he slept with - had certainly become experts on his body parts over the years.

Yes, he knew vampires.

And he knew they did not exist.

Could not exist.

It was ludicrous.

But that didn’t stop people buying his books, of course. People like reading about fantastical things, and the more you try to make them authentic and real, the more they like it. Which was why his novels took the interesting approach of pretending that the main character, Erasmus Vintaglia, a Roman Centurion who had been "turned" at the actual Crucifixion of Christ by Judas Iscariot, actually existed and was writing accounts of his life. He had even gone so far as to give him an address in lower Queens, and paid some out-of-work actor to take on the role.

At least, he had until someone had become too involved in the story, clearly unable to separate fiction from reality, and had, well, killed him, believing they were ridding the world of a curse that had stalked it for thousands of years. The court case had proven that he, Maurice Stafford, could not be held accountable for the actions of his fans (or rather, his team of highly-priced and completely amoral lawyers - was the word amoral even needed? - had ensured all the right people were paid off/threatened/deported) and he had not been charged over the murder, but it had placed a pall over his writing, and sales had taken a nosedive. His agent had stopped taking his calls, and he was no longer welcome at all the best parties.

Until, that is, he had come up with the rather brilliant idea of making his next novel an account of the murder, and then revealing that the creature who had lived at 24 Strand Avenue, Queens, New York, was an imposter, and that Vintaglia himself had orchestrated his removal. Now at a secret address (Stafford wasn’t going to make that mistake again!) he continued to recount his adventures, and for the first time since Black Blood, the ninth in the series, the new novel took top slot in the Bestsellers list, and held it all through the summer, beating off formidable opposition and proving that reports of Maurice Stafford’s demise as an author were very exaggerated.

And, rather ironically, that appeared also to have been his undoing.

He remembered answering the bell, and opening the door of his plush Manhattan townhouse to behold the tall, dark stranger (could you get any more cliched, he groaned to himself) who had represented himself as - as - well wasn’t that strange? He couldn’t recall what excuse the "vampire" had used to get into his house, but something in the eyes had compelled the author, and Stafford had invited him in.

Oh, folly! spat his mind, for some reason deciding to harangue him with nineteeth-century idioms. You, of all people, should know the dangers in inviting a vampire…

Yes, yes! He replied testily, having a conversation with himself. But vampires don’t exist!

His mind suggested that it begged to differ, and that the proof was currently sitting before him, poring over a chessboard. This was a point he had to concede. Only a few moments inside the door, the man had revealed himself, railing coldly at Stafford for cheapening the legend of his people, writing trashy novels about a noble people of whom he knew nothing, and, worse, growing rich off of such lies. He had gone on at some considerable length about how intelligent vampires were, and how base and savage Stafford had made them out to be, both in his novels and, even more so, in the movies for which he had sold the rights.

Still unwilling to believe that such creatures existed, that the horrors he had painted for his gullible fanbase had actually walked off the pages of one of his books and was now standing in his lounge, Stafford had laughed; this was no vampire, he told himself, just some overwrought loser who had read too many of his books. Either he was pretending to be what he said he was, or possibly he even believed it, which made him not only mad but potentially very dangerous indeed. That realisation choked his laughter, and he reminded himself that whichever was the truth, his unwanted visitor presented a threatening figure, especially when he had advanced menacingly upon him, and he writer had wondered how far this person might go in his deranged fantasy? However, being a man who made his living by creating plot twists and interweaving situations to his - or at least, his character's advantage, he knew what to do.

“Intelligent?” he sneered, even as his breath came faster, unsure if the vampire was even listening to him, but hopeful that he would not allow such a slur to pass unchallenged. “Yeah, very intelligent, pal. Blag your way into someone’s home, rip out their throat, fuck off home. Great. Very advanced. Very emotionally developed. You’re clearly a superior being, no doubt about it. How could I have written that you were -” he struggled to dredge the exact words from the page of his third novel - “unfeeling, uncaring, savage monsters, just above the level of animals, though with a highly developed instinct for survival. Right?

To his intense relief, the "vampire" had paused, pushed him away, a look of pure rage on his pale, white face.

“Say you so?” he snarled, as Stafford staggered away, backing up against a table, anxious to put as much distance between himself and this madman as possible.

“You’re the one acting like an animal, pal,” he gasped, “and proving me right.”

Removing a white silk handkerchief from his breast pocket, the vampire dabbed at his lips delicately, his gaze travelling around the room, a look of disdain in those cold, red eyes. Contact lenses, no doubt.

“You live well,” he remarked icily, noting the plush furnishings, the oil paintings on the wall, the Persian rug on which they both stood, “on the proceeds of your lies.”

Now that he had orchestrated a reprieve for himself, Stafford found his old arrogance, arrogance that had alienated almost all of his friends as he got richer and they didn’t, returning. It was time to take control of the situation. Maybe this guy was some nut who had had specialised dental work done, maybe he really did believe he was a vampire. Who knew, or indeed cared? All Stafford knew was that he had to keep him occupied until the police arrived.

Being a celebrity, and having suffered unwelcome visitors more than once at his house, the author had arranged to have panic buttons installed in every room. Once pressed, these activated a silent alarm which was connected directly to the local police station. The one in his living room was on his desk, and as he had backed up against it he had managed to trip it. The cops would respond quickly. All he needed was maybe ten or fifteen minutes. Keep this lunatic busy till he heard sirens and he’d be in the clear. The boys in blue would take care of this intruder, whoever he was, or whoever or whatever he purported or believed himself to be.

“I’m a novellist,” he reminded the self-styled vampire. “I write fiction, which is in itself a kind of lie. Besides,” he pointed out sharply, “we all lie, one way or the other. It’s human nature.”

“Ah.” The vampire looked at him as if he had just detected a flaw in the writer’s logic. “But I am not human.”

Stafford resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and said instead “Of course. You’re far more intelligent than us, right?” He knew he had to play along, play into this loon’s fantasy, if he was to survive. Who knew what weapons this guy had on him? Best to pretend he believed him to be what he was, and try to use that against him.

The vampire inclined his head gravely, as if acknowledging a simple fact.

“Once,” he remarked, “I was as you; human, stupid, limited, savage. Savage!

Suddenly, he barked a sharp, mirthless laugh. His eyes were very cold; Stafford could almost feel shivers run down his spine, looking into them. He tore his eyes away with an effort.

“The very word you used in your - books -” the vampire used the word with contempt, like someone describing a glass bead as a flawless diamond - “to describe my kind. Savage. How very little you know, mortal. How very little. If only you could see. If you could know …”

He seemed to lapse into something of a reverie then, staring straight ahead, more through than at Stafford, who decided he should break the silence. For about a nanosecond he considered running past the guy, to the door and out into the street. If this “vampire” was distracted, in a trance, he might make it.

And he might not. It was the fear that his visitor might produce a gun, or a knife, and attack him as he tried to make his escape that put a stop to such thoughts. Besides, he had only to wait for the police to show up.
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Old 01-23-2018, 04:46 PM   #487 (permalink)
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this is the introduction of frownland's character into my novel

"I'm just trying to heat up the zone, man." Z says to Hoyt. "Why do you have to be such a lint?" All four of the men's eyes are fixed upon the artist, their ears caught adrift in his guitar molestation. He plays a classical style acoustic with all steel strings and considerable action up the neck, which he utilizes to unleash stupendous harmonics. He has a face that defies legitimate description, as the things one would say about it would only offer the foggiest of foggies. Not even fog, just a plain white wall. His face somehow carries the absurd and out of nowhere notion of being on backwards, like an inward turned mask that sees through your eyes rather than you through its. There has not yet been established a proper name for the style of facial hair crawling from the Artist's chin, very wolfman-esque. The strands seem to climb upward like vines. Though obviously of the same ilk, saying his beard and mustache are the same entity would be trite. More like cousins, perhaps. The hair dwindles away further up his face, as if afraid t tread the disheartening scalp looming above like a haunted wasteland. His t-shirt is black enough to be a spatial void and his jeans are as blue as a pair of blue jeans, as if blue jeans could ever look like anything but.

"What zone?" Hoyt asks. "I'm the only one that comes in here."

"Well that's why this ingenious live music idea. It should entice." Z retorts from behind the bar, drinking on the job like you're not supposed to do.

"I don't think stuff will draw the kinda crowd we want." The Artist's playing is either inept or masterfully ept. The plinks and tings and shcrrzhs percolate from the guitar to dance about the air like an ethereal ballroom. Closer to music than a departing train but further than Bach or Beethoven or Bono, it is as abstract and improbable as the Artist's face.

"It's progressive." Z says. The Artist does not seem bothered by his peers' rude whispering as he apparently finishes his audition. The ensuing silence would exceed a reasonable conversational pause. "That was something else, man." The Artist is silent and does not blink.

"What's with it?" Hoyt interjects. Still no acknowledgement, and he turns to the barkeep. "Is he aw whack job?"

"Well I hope so."

"Why mute?"

"Aerosmith said to let the music do the talkin, you know. Not that anyone should live their life according to Aerosmith."

"Well we can't have him if he doesn't talk."

"And why is that?" Z counters, to which Hoyt hasn't a true answer. "He knows what it's all about. He iswhat it's all about." Hoyt's three double shots of bourbon are conversing like schoolyard friends in the playground of his stomach. The Artist had been sitting in a bar stool in front of the two gents, but after finishing with his performance, seemingly satisfied, he would reach into his guitar case and extract a portfolio so portfolio-ish it ought to be the archetype for all portfolios. He approaches the bar to hand to Z, who would open it immediately.

"What is..." Hoyt begins, but in that instant of folder opening the Artist would disappear.

"This is a reputable assessment." Z says, though the folder contains no words or numbers or recognizable symbols. Rather all of it is just distressing swirling and sentient geometry. The ripples of color seem almost in motion against the black painted sheets. Z reaches out his hand with irrational caution, a piece of paper is almost never lethal. But as his fingertips come in contact with a cold, murky gel, he would lose at least four of his marble. "Maybe you're right, Hoyt. He could be a safety concern. We probably shouldn't have any practitioners of the dark arts serenading us. Bad for business. Where'd he go anyway?"

"I don't know." Hoyt slurs theatrically, as if accosted by the feds. Z lets his gaze trickle back upon the contents of the offensively bland and contrasting folder, still vortexian and odd, at least this top sheet.

"I dunno why he even brought this in. We didn't ask for any mystical resumes."

"It's like a fresh painting... That's live." Hoyt remarks, trying to mask the alcohol's impairment beneath this admittedly apt simile. At this point, as if for some reason the idea only surfaced this instant, Z takes the top most sheet between his fingers to peruse the other chapters of the folder. He tries to, at least. Further celebrating the fresh painting comparison, the sheet is in fact drenched in an impossibly dry wetness and incredibly limp upon lifting, like it'd been floating in a puddle. The segment pinched by Z/s fingers tears off with no resistance and he decides to be more careful.

"You should be more careful." Hoyt pipes.

"Thanks, doc." Z squeezes several more sheets to more firmly lift. Four, five, perhaps eighteen, and a shrill tone chimes from the pages as they are peeled apart, similar to the catastrophic string scraping suite of the Artist's performance. Similar as identical. The very same cacophony that had been expelled from the Artist's bloody murder screeching guitar is now reacquainting itself with the two men, much to their suppressed horror. This paper-like medium (surely it can't be paper, can it?) almost seems to be like some otherworldly sound capturing material. Or perhaps not otherworldly, after all, how do records work? Black magic, as far as anyone in the bar is concerned. The Artist's mad litany is somehow housed within these eldritch, swampy pages. Maybe it's his sheet music

The other pages observed, including the backside of the bottom sheet in Z's grasp, are equally dark and sludgy and unnerving, only accented by the repeated section of disembodied aria still devastating the very particles comprising the room's atmosphere. Black fluid-like material would appear to be running from the page Z holds, yet no liquid drips from its edges, giving its surface the visual quality of staring into the night sky whilst wrapped in a hazy nutmeg induced delirium. Such ocular nuances are subtle at first, the sudden ripple like a wave or insectoid shooting star, no outright lysergic fractalization, but grow more pronounced and comprehensible the deeper your gaze, until strange wiggly men form and prance unfathomably about the emptiness, stacking milk crates and conducting orchestras and directing horse drawn carriages, or any such banal activities that now seem so peculiar to you when carried out by nothing.

Z warily pinches another cluster of sheets to explore, his actions now driven by grim curiosity after logic, reason, and concern for safety have all headed for the hills. A horrible and dissonant tremolo like a swarm of locusts now blasts from the folder, a movement Z remembers the Artist delivering with particular enthusiasm. Z and Hoyt now both begin to tremble, as if their fear wasn't already insurmountable, at the new sheet atop the stack. They share no words or gaze, but a single thought balances like a circus performer upon the telepathic tight rope: Is that what I think it is?. They simultaneously ask and answer each other's mental query. The churning ooze dousing the page would slowly morph into a foggy, barely visible scene that would manage to further the men's apparently infinite bewilderment and, more noticeably, their sheer, primal terror. "Barely visible" might not be a discretion to do justice to the ineffable display. In fact the page would appear more like some far off channel that is somehow forcing itself through the static of a disconnected television, the black and white fuzz attempting to shape itself, however inadequately, into the broadcast. All in all the scene is perceived by the men like the fleeting, tail end of a dream as their true vision comes to a wake. The instance where elements both phantasmagoric and real blend together confusedly, when the dream has faded into an echo bouncing off the solid walls of your room and turning the morning light through your window into a perplexing rainbow.

After a moment of unblinking focus, the associates could make out the outside of the station, the boarding dock directly out the door of the bar, cast in frightful noir, while slowly but surely the bar separates from the rest of the building it's connected to, the benches and potted trees and tracks blurring away as well, until Z's establishment is but a single cube suspended in void.

"So we're tossing it, yeah?" Z cannot hide the quake in his voice.

"Toss it?" Hoyt cries in response, no less girlish. "I think we have to drive a stake through it." Z studies his customer for a quick second as if considering it to be a sensible plan. Then he nabs the bottle of vodka he'd already been immorally siphoning, takes a fierce gulp like an overworked athlete, and with the rest drenches the Artist's horrid portfolio, which by now had been shut to silence its squalor. He goes outside, Hoyt follows curiously, and tosses on the gravel in the track bed, then lights it with a match from his pants pocket. By now the two men might have expected some kind of rank death knell from the burning blasphemy before them, but it simply crackles and fizzes like anything else. After the source of their horror is reduced to ashes, Z takes a breath for no reason other than to breathe purposefully, and turns to Hoyt.

"Let's just go buy a jukebox."
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Hmm, what's this in my pocket?

*epic guitar solo blasts into my face*

DAMN IT MONDO

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Old 01-23-2018, 05:30 PM   #488 (permalink)
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the post above mine is good

TH that is
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Hmm, what's this in my pocket?

*epic guitar solo blasts into my face*

DAMN IT MONDO
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Old 01-23-2018, 07:19 PM   #489 (permalink)
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the post above mine is good

TH that is
Thanks man. Appreciate it, coming from you.
I like your story too: this is the second part of the one you posted earlier, yes?
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Old 01-23-2018, 08:26 PM   #490 (permalink)
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I've always wanted to make my own comic book. Also, I want to write the the screenplay for the scariest movie ever. #BigDreams
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