I keep thinking about my best friend of 10+ years that I had a falling out with. Our friendship is not salvageable, unfortunately. Most of my better memories involve her seeing as we're both enormous goons. Once we somehow acquired a few boxes of brand new walkie talkies and had to pawn them all off. I think we used the money to buy massive amounts of burritos and wine, but the memory is hazy now. I really, really miss when we'd get a motel (..in our own town because there was nowhere else to go) room just to drink rum out of teacups and listen to terrible music while putting on mime makeup or whatever. Few people I meet or befriend irl these days are very fun for extended periods of time.

I'm sorry :(

Some memory fragments that keep floating into my mind lately:

-Stargazing in an empty gravel lot by a field when suddenly I heard what sounded like a bottle rocket flying directly above me. But there was nothing there and nobody around. The sound lasted for about 5 seconds, and happened again about 15 minutes later.

-Cutting a hole in a chainlink fence which separated my apartment complex from a golf course because I conveniently already had a wire cutter on me; it was night, and the golf course was blanketed in thick fog, so I thought it would be a nice place for me and my friends to drink wine. We did so on a small hill under a tree. It was just as nice as I expected.

-Accidentally breaking into (with someone else) what I thought was an abandoned warehouse one night which, in fact, turned out to be someone's garage. Inside there was a really nice 1950s car covered in dust. It was unlocked, so I might have sat inside of it for a moment.

-Hearing a tornado siren at age 4 and wandering outside to go look for the tornado so I could follow it. (You know, as one does) The sky was green and black and my tricycle was already blowing away down the gravel road. My dad came outside to collect me, screaming at me the whole time.


It's okay. I definitely won't miss having to endure her horrible boyfriends. (Every single one of them hit on me, and one had just gotten out of prison for molesting a kid when he was a teenager.)

Send him a dick pic.

I imagine he'd at least reply. But whatevs, nobody ever listens to me.

This one time, me and my friend were in this pet shop walking around looking at the different animals they had for fun. The clerk was showing off this giant snake that he was holding, trying to entertain customers. Out of nowhere, the snake started ****ting all over the place. It was like a firehose of liquid snake ****, just flailing all over the place as the dude holding the snake tried (but failed) to control it. It was by far the funniest thing I've ever seen in my 30 years on this planet, and it happened when I was like 16.

Yeah, losing touch with childhood friends and family members is pretty sad. Especially up to the age of about twenty you can have such strong, instinctive bonds with people: not so easy to make those bonds as we get older.

When I was in kindergarten I ran in front of the swings and got kicked in the face.

That was you? I wasn't even on it.

With a tape recorder in your hand I assume?