Embarrassing
 

Right, whats the most embarrassing thing thats happened to you? Doesnt even have to be you, it could be something that happened to a friend or just a story youve heard...

Ok so Im bored and this seemed like a good idea for a thread :rolleyes:

well THE SNOWMAN story

here it goes for the 1000th time..

so i was in my 5th grade and it was the Christmas thingy at school. i was the snowman (at first they wanted me to be the wolf but i was too skinny and my voice wasn't scay and all that) so i had to wear a huge white winter coat and had to bring a broomstick (just imagine me walking on the street with a broomstick in my hand) and i had a black hat on my head. and i was a "snowman"... the bad part is that all the kids asked me if i was supposed to be a witch.. i was mad and i had to sing the stupid "i'm a little snowman short and fat" song. AND DANCE on top of it...

stupid and embarrassing. of course, there are more embarrassing moments in my life but this is the only one that i want to make "public"... nah, it's just the one i remember

Heh primary school is always full of embarrassing stories... I always remember going into the wrong locker rooms at the swimming pool on our school trip once.. Bearing in mind I was 9 at the time, so it was pretty damn embarrassing. *Sigh* My poor untainted eyes....

yeah, school's a nightmare

WELL, there was the time i was jogging down a main road with my mate and i stacked in front a bloody huge traffic jam. then there was the time i was in the school toilets and i thought my mate had followed me in and gone into a cubicle. so i started making funny noises at him. little did i know it wasnt actually him but some random stranger. oh yes, another was me in a supermarket with gran, picked up a tin of beans, saw a lady who had her back to me, thinking it was gran, plonked the beans into the trolley and started talking to her about my loathing for beans......turns out it wasnt my gran. getting ****ted on by a bird is always quite embarrasing too.

POWER-Bump o_O
 

Well, rather than start a new topic on embarrassing shit you've done, I dutifully did a google search and lo and behold, here's this nearly 10 year old thread. Ahem. So.........


As I've previously explained, I've been sober since summer of 1995. I was most decidedly NOT sober in the summer of 1987.

I was with all my drinking buddies that I'd known since the mid '70's. Not too surprisingly, we were all alcoholics (all but 2 of us sobered up in the '90's, the 2 that didn't both eventually died from alcohol-related liver failure, one in 1998, the other in 2004). We had been drinking hard all day, it was time for me to go home. The party was at about SE 20th & Powell in Portland, I lived directly across from Civic Stadium (now JELD-WEN Field) in what is now called the Pearl District. That is one hell of a long walk at about 1 in the morning ( http://tinyurl.com/7zweqtu ) esp. when you're as wasted as I was.

So I've been walking for an hour, I was carrying my bass guitar, and was stumbling mightily. But most of all, I was PISSED. I was PISSED that I had to walk, I was PISSED at the fucking world, and most of all I was PISSED that I wasn't gonna get laid, AGAIN. I was doing a stumbling drunken bellowing pissed-off rant the entire way. I had been walking all this time and was now walking across the Hawthorne Bridge.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1174/...3d3af5318b.jpg

If you know Portland, the Hawthorne Bridge is a vertical draw bridge, with the drawspan closer to Downtown. And, as I described earlier, I was pissed at the world. So I'm stumbling and yelling at the world, my bass is really getting heavy, and as I approach the drawspan I see a long diagonally vertical rod iron pipe, painted dayglo tennisball green with black barberpole stripes. It is the barrier that lowers when the drawspan lifts, lest people just walk off the edge of the bridge and plunge 50 feet into the cold filthy Willamette.

I have NO IDEA what got this idea into my alcohol-addled brain, but at that point I decided I was gonna break that fucking pole. I reach up (I'd guestimate that the pole, at about an eleven o'clock angle, towered about nine feet above the sidewalk) and grab the pole and pull down with all my might (which was considerable, I was extremely buff in 1987, you wouldn't ever guess that seeing me now). I'm giving it everything I have, but I'd failed to notice that, at the base of this heavy, rod iron pipe, was a breakaway spring. So I'm putting every ounce of strength I have downward on ths pole. Or, another way to look at it, I was pulling that pole directly toward my head. That was when I discovered the presence of that breakaway spring. At that moment, as that spring snapped, I effectively took a nine foot heavy rod iron pipe and POW! clubbed myself on the head at high force. I knock myself cold....

As I come to (I actually was only out for a moment) I pick myself up off the wooden sidewalk, I'm looking down at the sidewalk and *plop* a big bloody puddle appears on the sidewalk. Oh shit, I need some help. So my head is bleeding, I pick up my bass, sidestep the now dangling boingedy-boingedy pole and walk over to the downtown side of the bridge. In the summer of 1987 there was a meat-market type disco immediately there on 1st and Main. Everybody out to find someone to fuck, everybody in their 1987 best outfits, with the fluffy hair and all that shit, and there were several of these vacuous ninny boys outside the front door. One of them sees me coming with my bloodied head, I figure maybe someone would get me some help, but the first guy that sees me just points at me and laughs "hahaha! you look like shit! hahahaha!" I'm thinking to myself, yeah, who gives a fuck about my bashed in skull, what matters is how I LOOK ferpissakes...

So, fortunately, he wasn't the only idiot there and someone got me to a nurse or something that was working in the building. The only problem was, she asked me what happened. I didn't wanna say "well, I viciously clubbed myself over the head with a nine foot lead pipe", so I made up a story about being mugged (realizing that the story had this great big gaping hole in it, as I was still carrying my $400 bass). She seemed to overlook that stupid explanation (maybe she believed me, maybe she didn't) but she patched me up and sent me on my way...

OK, your turn...

OK, well I'm in the toilet, in a cubicle, doing what you do in a cubicle and I finish, come out and go to wash my hands, cos, you know, I'm just that kind of guy. I look over and there's a girl washing her hands! She looks at me funny, I think to myself "Jesus! Couldn't you even make it to the ladies?" And then she leaves. Moments later I finish and leave and notice that .... I'm in the LADIES! Must have taken a wrong turning at a somewhat misleading divider in the shopping centre!

As quickly and nonchalantly as possible (which is to say, not at all) I make my exit, hoping I don't bump into the girl on the way out, which luckily I don't!

Back when I was a little pre-teen, or maybe just recently a teen, I still hadn't figured out how to whack off, though I had been a hardcore porn addict since the fourth grade. Shocking, I know. Anyways, I'd been trying to figure this out for a while now, when I got the idea in my head to give the ol' vacuum a try...long story short, if you're gonna jerk off in a vaccum cleaner, and it's one of those bagless ones with a clear tube, then you might wanna think about cleaning it out every once in a while. Or else your mother will have questions. And then she will have a conniption.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/e332f7ec0...9dcoo1_250.gif

:laughing:

I wish it was bull****. It would have made one very bad night go away.

Came home drunk in the early hours of the morning once when I was about 16ish so a while back now. Was watching telly in bed and one of those Babestation type shows was on. I sent two or three explicit foot related texts from my phone (they read the texts out on screen, fuck knows why I did it I was pissed) and thought nothing of it. I bought a new phone not long after and a mate didn't have one so I said he could have my old one. We were on a night out some time after and there was a few of us there having a beer. Out of nowhere he goes 'Oh yeah Martin, I've got a bone to pick with you' and pulls the phone out of his pocket, goes into the sentbox and proceeds to rip the shit of out me, reading out these dirty texts I'd sent in front of everyone. Felt like a right dickhead.

I necked a pint on holiday once on an empty stomach and as I got up to leave the bar I could feel it swirling around in my stomach, my eyes and mouth just started watering, I knew I was struggling and wasn't gonna be able to hold it in and I was sick there and then, it ricocheted off the floor/bar and went over a girl's bare legs who was stood at the bar. I looked at her, she looked at me and I just carried on walking.

One time playing football on the astro turf, a lad on my team brought one of theirs down in the box, one of their players, a Pakistani lad at the other end of the pitch, runs all the way over to our end argue about it when there was no fucking way he could have saw from where he was. I point back the other way and tell him to 'fuck off back to where you came from' :o:.

I have shit myself once too on the way out to the city centre when I was ill (Diarrhoea) but managed to get back to my house before bumping in to anyone. Potentially that one could have been a disaster.

Okay I don't understand this. Was he pissed because he found the text on your phone and people might have thought he sent it, or did he just not like the fact you sent the text? Anyway, you NEVER take anyone's old phone and if you do you do a serious deepscan level clearout of it, getting rid of any incriminating pics, videos, texts or phone numbers because these days handing someone your phone is like handing them your life.
You didn't even apologise? Shame! I would at least have offered to clean her legs -- with me tongue! :D
But by saying that you meant back to the other end of the field, of course. Didn't you? ;)
I refuse to comment on this, except to say that once, when I was MUCH younger (say six or seven) and at school I knew I had to have a **** but the teacher would NOT let anyone leave the classroom and the inevitable happened. Let me just say it was not a pleasant walk home that day!
Gaah! Thanks for reminding me of that, Benteke-who-was-Fluffy!
:banghead:

The reason my mate read the texts out was because he wanted a laugh, just wanted to wind me up a bit I guess. I don't think I'd have done the same but it was my own fault.

I embarrass myself all the time, everyone does, the key is the recovery. It has to be smooth and cool. Almost casual.

I sharted once. No regrets.

So, most of what I'm seeing is, while truly embarrassing, something we've all done, I'm not seeing anything like clubbing yourself with brute force over the head with a steel pipe. If nothing else I feel I'm owed some level of kudos for idiotic originality.

I think most, if not all, of my embarrassing moments have been while drunk.
There was this one night around christmas, we were playing 7-11 (drinking game), and it was my turn for like an hour, so that required me to chug beers nonstop for an hour, like the whole thing. Must have downed over twenty in one chug each. I don't even remember getting up from the table. But according to my friends, I threw up all over this other drunk guy's hands, and in return he threw up on mine, I had to be changed like a child. And I guess at one point while everyone was out smoking a cigarette, I was alone in the room with this girl, and I tried to stand up from the couch, but just fell over instantly, slamming my face on the underbar of a table and cutting my face open. I threw up again while I was there on the ground.

The best thing about my friends is that we don't criticize, because everyone's been there before.

That may be dumber than getting caught with the vacuum cleaner by your mother, but it's definitely not more embarrassing. And **** you, it actually happened.

It takes a certain kind of special to do that Smeen. I, for one, commend you on your special-ness.

After my GF's father passed away, the whole family gathered at the home in which he lived, and they (all 7 of em) grew up. We were there to basically say goodbye one last time before they sold. So of course, there was lots of aclohol, and I normally don't touch the hard stuff, but made the really bad choice of downing some tequila shots. I had rode my bike there, thinking it would be a good idea since I knew we were all gonna get shit-faced.

Bad idea.

On my drunken bike ride home, along a very busy street, I came into contact with a paver that was part of a circle around a tree. I then proceeded to 'endo', and my face broke my fall up against said tree. I took pictures of my injuries, as well as the tree and vicinity the next day thinking that this tree and paver situation was an unnecessary hazard and someone needs to take it down, but then I thought... I was just drunk.

Just a week ago, while riding I was approaching a really nice looking woman and her meathead boyfriend. The BF decided he was gonna be a dick, and just stand his ground, which in turn made me have to veer off the sidewalk onto the grass to pass them, and when I went to get back on the sidewalk, my tire caught the edge, and down I went. The woman was in a bit of a shock at seeing this and asked me if I was ok, to which I just threw my hands up while saying "I'm fine, I'm fine", with an added "Asshole" under my breath. As I was riding away I could hear her giving the meathead a mouthful as I snickered.

Not drunk.

Well like I said before, the road is for bikes. I agree the guy was an ******* but if anyone comes at me on their bike on the path (sidewalk) I too would stand in front of them, or at least not get out of the way. Hey, do I stand in the ROAD when you decide to use it once in a while? No I don't, so why do you get to use whichever you choose? Pavement's for pedestrians pal. That's why your bike has wheels.

Unless of course you were on a bicycle path, in which case ignore all the above.

Here, you're not even allowed to ride you bike on the sidewalk. If there is no pavement or trail beside it, then you need to go on the road.

As you should. A bike is just as capable of running someone over as a car, you know --- dammit! I think I just gave the Batlord an idea!

Same here. Still ride on the pavement though, I've been in the road and don't feel safe at all, would rather ride on the pavement and take a fine than in the road and get hit and killed.

still, it wasnt like he was ridin up behind them. dude was just bein a douche about it


personally i like when bikers are on the sidewalk. dont like driving with them on the road

Yeah well I don't drive, so I don't appreciate it when someone comes flying along on a bike listening to their ipod or looking to one side while I have to dart out of the way. My belief is the road is the place for vehicles, so they should use it. As I say, I can't walk out in traffic, so why can bikes use the footpath? What if they run some kid down cos they're not looking, and nobody expects a bike to be on the path, although it happens way too often?

But yes, I agreed already: the guy was just being a knob.

Thing is, Fluff (I can't call you Christian, seriously man!) it's more a case of if you want to feel safe you get the choice of using road or path; pedestrians don't get that option, so it seems unfairly weighted on the side of the cyclist.

Question for ya, or other cyclists: do you stop at red lights or do you just sail through, and if the latter, why?

As long as you don't ride like a bell-end then I don't see the problem, if you hit a pedestrian you're not really gonna kill them. Get hit by a car when you're on a bicycle and you're much more likely to die.

Meh, I've had this argument before. It goes nowhere. Unless you're a pedestrian who has to keep moving out of the way of cyclists you're not gonna get the annoyance factor, so there's no point in my trying to convince you. I'll just leave it at that.

The fact is that, unless there's a designated bike path, a bike really belongs in neither place. I think that sidewalks are for pedestrians, but nothing pisses me off quite like a bicyclist acting like a car, e.g. getting in the left turn signal lane with heavy traffic. That is a time I believe the cyclist shout get in the crosswalk with pedestrians and walk their bike in the crosswalk obeying the walk/don't walk signals. That's what I did for the many years I biked to and from work.

A couple. One is, naturally in elementary school. I was the lead in our school Thanksgiving play, and totally spaced it on a line. There was an awkward silence, my teacher trying to mouth the line: The men all built long tables to me, but her gesticulations were even more confusingm . I decided, "The men were loooooong," arms outstretched, was the appropriate line. The audience erupted in laughter.

I was at an awards banquet my junior year, had accepted the two awards I knew I won, and slipped my shoes off for comforts sake. I ended up winning an art award, had to get my shoes back on and make my way to the stage. The principal apparently thought I wasn't coming and turned his back, right as I got to the edge of the stage. I turned to the audience, in an inadvertently comedic and exaggerated arms out shrug, which resulted in hysterical laughter.

I ooze embarrassing moments, and I suck at recoveries, I'm a walking awkward automaton, but anyway. I'm just going to go with one moment in my life that was embarrassing, not terribly so, but embarrassing.

So, last new years I tagged along with a group of co-workers to another co-worker's new apartment. It was decided we were to get shitfaced that night, which I was cool with. We all got into the tiny one room apartment with some other chick (whom I barely know) I work with who is fairly quiet, and I suck at breaking the ice, so I stand around barefoot with my hands in my pockets chiming in only when necessary. Everyone except me and quiet girl goes out for a smoke (I'm not a smoker, keep this in mind) so it was just the two of us, so I semi-awkwardly go outside and bum a cig to escape an awkward silence. We go back in, and my friend (who I work with and have known for 6 years) starts making mixed drinks, in plastic cups no less (classy as shit right there). I enjoy my screwdriver, and then comes the wine, it was that kind of wine that didn't have any hint of dryness at all, it was almost like some sort of alcoholic fruit punch. We're sitting around drinking, yucking it up, waiting for the new year (I think I remember a board game too?). I'm starting to get pretty wasted, but I said to myself "Hey man, it's okay to get fucked up tonight, don't worry about shit, just enjoy things". We're drinking the rest of the wine (I had a bottle and a half), and I think I had 3-4 screwdrivers at that time too. At this point, we're all talking about relationships, and I bring up this chick I really had a thing for, but this girl and I never got together (even though we went out a few times), they tried to convince me to drunk dial her. I don't care how messed up I am, I'm never, ever drunk calling some poor girl in the middle of the night. In comes co-worker's boyfriend, he decides to swing by and see what's up, and at that point I'm completely fucked up, so I'm laughing like an idiot chatting up co-worker's boyfriend about how glad we are that he came (I'm a stupidly happy drunk, and I absolutely love everyone and everything). We all decided to go out and smoke, and I decide to bum another cig, so there I am with a lit cigeratte in my hand swaying back in forth having a laughapocalypse, and BAM!, it hits me. I feel like my stomach was just punched by the mighty allah himself. I say calmly whilst swaying back in forth "Hey guys, I'm gonna be sick" and I stumble over to the hill near the patio of the apartment with a still lit cigarette and roll backwards, stand up briefly, collapse to my hands, and puke out my guts. I black out, and come to my co-workers helping me into the apartment, give me a blanket, and ask me to lay down. So there I am, by myself, smelling like puke, on my co-worker's floor. They come back in, and I ask what happened, apparently the boyfriend left because he thought I was underage and I apologized profusely to my co-worker to she replied "Eh whatever, this kind of says to me I don't really want to date him anyway". Quiet girl also left for the night, as she planned on leaving when we all went to bed (not exactly sure how to explain that, but she planned on leaving that night before she even arrived). The rest of them get ready for bed, and the night pretty much ends. I ended up being the last one to fall asleep, mainly due to making a complete ass out of myself.

I wiped out again last night, and tore the 30+ year old callous off of my thumb on my strumming hand. Blood everywhere.

Around here, where I live in the south side of Chicago, if you ride in the street, you get killed. Period. It's that simple.

**** sidewalks, and **** mother****ers who don't move the **** out of the way.


****!

They need bike lanes there!

So in other words, your opinion is based entirely out of self-interest rather than principles. I imagine if you drove you would likely feel the opposite and tell those damn bicyclers to get the **** off your road. I'm self-interested too, and my self-interest about not being run over by a bus trumps your self-interest of not wanting to be slightly inconvenienced by having to step out of the way of an oncoming bike. And don't give that crap about being hit by a bike. I've never heard of anyone getting run over a bike, and even if they did they'd be able to get up and dust themselves off. Pwned.

They have bike lanes here but there are oodles of shitty drivers here in San Diego that I fear for my life when I attempt to share the road with them. I've been hit twice and I usually keep it to the sidewalks. Whenever I come across pedestrians I hop off the curb before I pass them, though.

They do have them, but not everywhere.

Here's my 30 year old callous... or whats left of it:

http://i539.photobucket.com/albums/f...ps3e5374e3.jpg

No nylon acoustic for awhile. :mad:

I give right of way to pedestrians as they do to me, but some people are just control freaks and feel the need to force their will upon anyone they come in contact with, like that meathead guy.

As far as red lights, if I didn't stop for them usually I'd be mowed down instantly, but in some instances there's a break in the traffic, and if it's safe, I'll cross.

Common sense really.

The most embarrasing one for me is that my family are beyond amazed on how I'm not a mommy yet at my age, (29).

I've never had a boyfriend.

I'm still a virgin.

I have a crush on a musician.