Comparing now to way back when.
 

Join me.

When I was a kid, we didn't have internets and iPhones and LOLs. We had sticks that had fallen off trees, and we had to make do...
Granted, other kids probably had more actual toys than I did, for monetary reasons, but even they had to pretend at a level that's probably absurdly alien to kids today.
I wonder what goes through the minds of kids who get cranky because their Nintendo DS requires charging. I used to get cranky because it really fucking hurt when I jumped off the roof of the house mistakenly thinking a black garbage bag would be an adequate parachute to Air Assaut into an 'unsuspecting enemy village and rescue my future wife from slightly Russian evil-doers'.

Sticks were anything you wanted them to be. Probably not Xboxes, but everything else.
Main options for sticks were modifying them so that they would look as close as possible to a Ninja Turtle's primary weapon with your eyes squinted. If you were lucky enough to sneak a butter-knife from the kitchen, you were better off if you were Raphael.
Nunchucks were fun to make. Very simple, as well. Two relatively straight sticks + string. Somehow we never got tripped up on those details...

I can't imagine something as absurd as pretending the stick was an iPhone and texting someone with it. Not only did the concept not exist, but you know how uncool it would have looked if I tried to text message someone from my nunchucks?? No respectable ninjas would have approved. Not the turtles, and certainly none of the Transformers. Even David the Gnome would have laughed and spewed inflammatory remarks.

Oh yea, remember GI-JOES? Not the cartoon, as I didn't have TV at the time... but the toy. Yea I had one of those. Actually if was two different halves of one and the rubber band broke and no matter how many bread wrappers I stole from the kitchen, GI-Joe was just inadequately flexible and couldn't perform any quality uppercuts or practically any wrestling moves against any opponent, which sometimes had to consist of gummy bears (who's punishment for failure was being eaten alive). Annoyingly, gummy bears won more often than not due to GI-Joe's inability to hold himself together for very long, and out of sheer childish desire, I was forced to break a lot of rules because I wanted to eat me some gummy bears.

I guess if I had google I could have retrieved the best solution to my GI-Joe and settle the gummy bear score. Maybe I could have diailed GI-Joe tech support and or something.

Heh, I wonder what today's kids would have thought of struggling family food selection during the 80's. "Hey, what are these weird brown things?" "Beans? Oh... is that what goes in Pizza Rolls???"
"Hey, why's this purple drink not fizzy?"
"You guys only eat 3 times a day????"





You have a mom AND a dad, simultaneously??????

You, my friend, are fucking hilarious when you're drunk. :laughing:

lol. More sleep deprived than anything.

Well either way it was funny little essay, esse.

Haha. Believe me, it wasn't funny back then. Shit was serious. I once had to grab a bee to prove how hardcore I was to an imaginary wife.
It did sting my hand.
I remember this because it was my first ever bee sting. I was a fucking idiot... doing that for a woman. An imaginary one, no less.

My first bee sting went a little like this:

Me and my friend were out playing in some cranberry bogs (yes, I grew up in a place with tons of cranberry bogs) and we came across a dozen or so bee boxes arranged in two rows. Being a dick even back then, I dared my friend to walk between the two rows of boxes where tons of bees were flying around. Amazingly he did it and managed to not get stung, but one bee got really pissed off, flew over to where I was standing and stung me right in the fucking earlobe.

Hahaha... That bee was a harbinger of karma.
But I do have to ask, what the hell is a cranberry bog? Sounds pretty tasty, and if it's what I think it is, I would have set up my forts near the area.

One of these things?

what type of G.I. Joe are you referring to? the Doll looking one that was huge? or the smaller ones? I had an original storm shadow that I would bring to the neighborhood G.I. Joe battles

It where they grow cranberries. ;)

They work the same way as rice paddies. They're flat, dry patches of land with canals surrounding them for most of the year, but when harvest time comes they flood them about waist-deep with water. The cranberries float and the workers wander in with hip waders on and use these rake-looking things and big floating barricades to corral the berries over to the edge of the water where they're scooped up and loaded onto trucks. Here's a picture of harvest time:

http://www.sedona.biz/cranberries2.jpg