The last Kyle I knew became a woman.

I dunno. But so far, my Kyle experiences have not been positive.

I once knew a real turd named Kyle.

I had to clean out his apartment with his mother after he abandoned it.

I could write a novel about all the things that made him a truly grotesque human being.

For instance, I had to clean his toilet. Imagine what would happen if you burned a tray of brownies, and then took a shit in it. That's what it looked like.

I got stood up on a date by a guy named Kyle, many years ago. Then he went and married my best childhood friend.

And thats why she's a "childhood friend".

Bitch.

I almost married a Kyle like 6 yrs ago, he was my first then I was like "bye" cause I can't be bothered with his damseling bull****. Also, like years later he got super weird and jealous over any dude I talked to, like he'd threaten to talk to my current boyfriend and tell him how I sucked his dick....it's like yeah dude that's not an exclusive club or anything, I'm pretty sure any time I go out and see a dude around my age I get mild confusion on if I've fucked him already or not.

Fuckin' Kyles.

Classic Kyle.

Hey everybody!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._Shankbone.JPG

Does anybody else ever get in imaginary fights with people they know in their heads and then get legitimately pissed off at that person cause you think that's probably how they would have acted in real life?

You mean as in "Letting someone live rent-free inside your head"?

All the time. In fact, I'm doin it right now.

Are yours as elaborate as imagining being your friend's roommate (we are not roommates) and then I bring home an abandoned kitten and then he gets mad cause he doesn't like animals (the impetus for this fantasy) and then we get in a huge fight where I tell him to go **** himself if he thinks I'm going to abandon a helpless little kitten?

Yep, literally all the time.

You know, I was just running that scenario through, but instead of a kitten, it was a Unicorn, and instead of being my friends roommate I was Gloria Estefans love child.

High five for crazy people!

http://img.scoop.it/S1S_11rmKSIt8Rmw...4QGRtDb3Sbc6KY

Every animal (and by "animal" I'm excluding vermin such as cockroaches, sewer rats, et al) except a dog is "kitty" to me. I call dogs "pooch" or "buddy". An elephant, a wolverine, a ferret, a porcupine, "kitty".

A parrot, a hyena, a mastodon, an unladen swallow (african *or* european), a bullfrog, a mongoose, a yeti, an alpaca.....

Just how many yetis have you encountered? And what is the name for a group of yetis?

When I'm lifting weights, the numbers on the weights have to be facing upward.

When I'm getting out of the shower, I count down from 10 or 20, hum the Final Jeopardy theme music in my mind, then get my towel.

I do that when I'm lifting too. I'm very particular about little things like that.

Kitties. Duh.

I must floss after every little thing. It has to be a clean piece of floss per tooth, double stringed, and unwaxed.

Kinky

LOL :tramp:

I bounce ideas off my cat when no one is around, then I respond to myself in a "cat" voice
I used to think its weird until I realised everyone in my house does it with my cat, hahaha

And is the cat often helpful?

:crazy:

He's a smart cat :wavey:

My mom does that. I do sometimes too, but I've heard my mom do it so often that I try to keep it to a minimum. It's physically impossible to keep myself from talking to them in a voice that isn't higher than my normal voice though.

My mom and I both literally do it all the time, it's hard not to. We usually make him curse at us because he's such a prissy *******

:laughing:

Mine do too. They have even filthier mouths than I do.

Hahahah

a normal conversation between me and the "cat" would be like this

Me: Hey babycat, where are you going?
Me: Holden?
Me (in a higher voice): **** you, wherever I feel like going, bitch

Replace "Holden" with "Wilhelm" and that's my life exactly.

I thought you were King Charles... now you Emperor Wilhelm?

That's his cat's name

Like my cat is Holden Caulfield

Indeed. And he is indeed named after the German Kaiser from WWI. We also have a cat named Wolfgang and had one named Rhineholt.

:confused: Wolfgang Puck or Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?

Mozart. And Rhineholt is just a cool German name and has no significance.

I have a thing for keys I dunno why, I love a good key, not to big, not too small, perfect and fabulous I love them all. This one opens the door to my heart, its perfect, it's precious in its own unique way.....
this one is to the place I was happiest.. long and slender and begging me to stay...

this one is to my room... the only place I have ever called home...

yeah they are much more then keys to me... I need to cease and desist on what ever fun things I may have ingested tonight...

If I come across a word that I can't figure out by comparing the prefix/suffix to a word I already know(or a latin root word or a french word...etc), then I read it backwards for some reason. Or I make anagrams out of it

For some reason when I'm not wearing shoes I walk on the balls of my feet like I'm wearing high heels or something. I think that I started doing this after watching Jurassic Park when I was like five or six (the velociraptors, man :drummer:)and have just been doing it ever since.

Also, when I'm reading I am constantly stopping to look at groups of four words to see if they add up to sixteen letters. And if they have an the same number of vowels as consonants then that's like bonus points. I've gotten to the point that I can almost do it while reading so it doesn't slow my reading down as much as it sounds.

I have the same habit from when I was younger and Jurassic Park has nothing to do with it. I have no idea where I picked up the habit but I always kept getting yelled at to walk flat on my feet.