Latvian Jokes
 

Three Latvian are brag about sons. "My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want," say first Latvian. "Zo?" second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!" Third Latvian wait long time, then say, "My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over." "Wow! You are win us," say others. But all are feel sad.



Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, "Why so long face?" Latvian say, “I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."



Latvian Nursery rhyme:
one potato, one potato, one potato, no more potato..
soldier eat potato and rape daughter...is end.



Knock knock
Who’s there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please open door. Is cold.



What are one potato say other potato?
Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?



Questioning: Why did chicken cross road?
Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents’ farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.



Latvian: Is so cold.
All: How cold is?
Latvian: Very. Also dark.



Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.



Why is Latvian throw clock out window?
Will be no appointments anymore, only endure til death.



Janis: I hope my son does not die during night.
Guntis: What is "hope"?
Janis: Yes. I know what you say.
Guntis: No. I am serious. What is hope?
Janis: In truth, I do not know.



Joke:
Two Latvian look at clouds. One see potato. Other see impossible dream.

Is same cloud.



Latvian walks into a Bar and asks, "You have potato?"
The Barman says, "This is a Bar, why would I have a potato?"
"Ah yes" sighs the Latvian "So few potato now"



Latvian walks into a Bar and asks, "You have potato?"
The Barman says, "This is a Bar, why would I have a potato?"
"Ah yes" sighs the Latvian "So few potato now"

:laughing:

Thread is fun. Laugh, many good times of friends.

Thread must not die!


Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son’s body. Can only take two across river at one time. If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad. Also is not good boat.



Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference?
Dog have fur keep warm. Also, freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing!



Latvian is rub lamp find genii. Genii say, “What is three wishes?” Latvian say, “I wish potato!” Then, POOF! Potato! Latvian so happy! “Oh! Is potato! Is potato!” say Latvian. Genii ask, “What is next wish?” Latvian is say, “I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!” POOF! Too bad. Also, was only lamp.



Latvian man hear knock at door. "Who is it?" ask man. "Is Potato Man. Am delivering free potatoes door-to-door" say voice. Man rejoice. "Oh! Such a blessing! This must be wonderful dream!" Latvian open door, man say "Just kidding. Is Secret Police."



Q: Why do Latvian Security Police always travel in threes?
A: One can read. One can write. One must keep watch on the two intellectuals.

This thread didn't really take off.

I don't know why, either. I laughed at all of these.

it'd be a one trick pony after a while, tbh. better this way than to have it stagnate.

Wait till summer for laugh is when Latavian computer thaw out.

:laughing:

Joke like potato, not enough.

This thread is amazing!