You might not be able to polish a turd, but you can certainly sell it to idiots for an extortionate price.

Any idiot can piss on the floor, but it is a real achievement to sh!t on the cieling

I speak American, f*ck English.-Me

The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.-Friedrich Nietzsche

Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.-Aristotle

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.-Napoleon Bonaprte

Only sick music makes money these days.-Friedrich Nietzsche

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.-John F. Kennedy

Strong reasons make strong actions.-William Shakespear

It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.-Confucius

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.-Friedrich Nietzsche

Danger and delight grow on one stalk.-Unknown

Slow is smoothe and smoothe is fast.-U.S. Army

Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.-Unknown

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.-Napoleon Bonaparte

Wrap it before you tap it.-Unknown

[The superior man] acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his actions.-Confucius
Lick it before you stick it.-Unknown

In Heaven all the interesting people are missing.-Friedrich Nietzsche

VPlus these...

"The world is like a ride at an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it, you think it's real, because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down and around and around. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question, 'Is this real, or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and they say, 'Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.' And we kill those people. 'Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride! Shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry! Look at my big bank account, and my family! This has to be real.' It's just a ride, but we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that, and let the demons run amok? But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride, and you can change it anytime you want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, and close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride: Take all of that money we spend on weapons and defense each year and instead, spend it feeding, clothing, and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded and we could explore space together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace."
- Bill Hicks

:eek: ..that's not.. one line...

But it's better than everything else in this thread combined.

"sex drugs rock n' roll,
speed, weed, birth control.
Lifes a bitch and then you die,
so **** the world and lets get hight"

some of you posted some parts of that quote.. so thats the full thing.

heres 'My So Called Life' favorites:

'so i tried to be invisible, its surprisingly possible'

'hatred can become like a food, it gives you this energy, you can like live off it'

'this life has been a test. If it had been a actual life, you would have received actual instructions on where to go and what to do'
----------------------------------------------------------------
other good quotes:

'laugh often learn much and love with all of your heart'

'a small mind and a big mouth are usually found in the same place'

'love is like magic but sometimes it can very well be an ilusion'

'if it wasn't going to hurt, it wouldn't be called "crush" '

'theres a light in every tunnel, just pray its never a train'
-------------------------------------------------------------
here's mine:

'rumors don't make people, people make the romors'

'understand your mind before you try to understand the world, if you don't the world with all the people in it will only **** you over'

As soon as you're born you start dying, so you might as well have a good time
-Cake

One of my favourites for a while now

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Stay above it.

No one can disrupt your peace unless you choose to let them.