All the things you've never done...
 

I've never prevented the feet of a piano from scuffing a waxed hardwood floor by weaving a large, pliable mat out of the laces pilfered form discarded footwear...

I've never hiked to the top of a remote mountain in Norway and spent the afternoon reading Slaughterhouse Five

I have never gotten a sexual disease

I've never seen a dead person.

I've never touched anybody's dick except my own.

I've never been to Ireland.

...you will.

Although going to Ireland could be a long shot.

I've never advertised my music on this forum . . . :pimp:

You should go now while it's still here.

Ireland will have to wait, need to see Madagascar before.

Come to think of it, I've never seen an erect dick in real like except my own. Who else can claim that?

Me.
I've also never consumed an entire bottle of everclear while attending a Mars Volta concert.