Oh, so you're countering my point of you saying your real life role model isn't real life at all by saying your other role model is just as if not more fake.

Gotcha. I don't understand a thing.

You aren't supposed to understand. Just chalk it up to him being weird and move on basically.

Either your boyfriend is you and you're trying to tell us all how great you are or you need to quit looking for "role models." Sounds more like you're looking for someone to tell you how to think. That's how Hitler and cults happen.

Fine. So both are likely fake. I give up.

I just try to be different. I don't even try to be normal anymore, I was clinically diagnosed as schizophrenic and I have grown to accept that. The problem is, there are many ways of being different. I have to choose one.

I can try to be normal, but in the profession I'm going into, music, it sometimes pays to be weird.

Anyway, I just started this thread to ask 2-3 questions.

What does that mean? You have to choose between being punk or goth? You have to choose between living in an abandoned church or living in a cave in the middle of a forest?

Pretty much, but not to the extreme of the last one. There is more I could tell you, but this forum just isn't ready for it. About religious experiences I had where God wanted me to act differently than you might think. Just about any way I wanted so long as it was different. Of course, it could have just been hallucinations, but who knows.

Why don't you just act like how you want to act? Trying to figure out how to act is just goofy.

I'm not a doctor, but part of my schizophrenia seems to be not really knowing myself.

So you're gonna try to know yourself by conforming to the ideas and standards of people who are not yourself? Again, that's how Hitler and cults happen.

First of all, keep in mind I posted this thread in the debate forum because I figured we would be discussing some real philosophical issues. It was moved, which I don't really care, but just to let people know.

Okay now for a philosophical issue. What is wrong with cults? Society considers them bad, which gives them a bad rap. But what is wrong with me practicing something that may be cultish, provided that it's not harming anyone?