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Family business
Don't see anything like this so far. A place to either vent about yuour family or talk about how much you love them. Brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, grandparents --- even those people perhaps back in the mists of your family history that you are either really proud of or ashamed of. But mostly, I would think, your living family.
Do you get on with all your siblings/parents etc? Have you gripes about them? Are there things you would like to say to/about them, good or bad? Obviously, use assumed names if you wish, and I'd expect everyone to treat the posts of everyone else with respect, given that we don't know who your family is or what your relationship to them is. I've a lot to say (when do I not?) about my family, but rather than be seen as just using this as an excuse to start going on about them, I'll step back and hold off for a while if someone else would like to talk about theirs. |
Never lend family or friends money (unless you're ok w/ never getting it back) b/c it never ends well.
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There are a lot of black sheep in my family, unfortunately. Would take a few posts to talk about them lol.
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most of my family is awesome. my grandfather on my mother's side however... not so much. he's 80 years old. came here from croatia in the 60s. got a job as a machinist/millwright at chrysler. lost half his leg in '83. with the money he got from that, he built a shop (like, from the ground up, by himself) which houses some pretty insane machinery. it's behind his house. he works in there on average about 12 hours a day. he's done this since forever. this means that he spends the majority of his time alone, in a world that he created alone. he also speaks terrible english. he's mad that i can't speak croatian (hrvatska) because it's hard for the two of us to communicate. he honestly believes this is my and my mother's fault, and the fact that he's been in the country long enough to secure a position as an english professor has nothing to do with it. he actually says "english is stupidity" on the basis that it's all stolen from other languages. he thinks it's dishonest, and the fault of the jews. i told him that we admit to stealing the language, as can be observed in any decent dictionary, but he doesn't hear it. i also told him that most languages (save the ones being used in remote tribes and such) - including croatian - have roots elsewhere. again, in one ear and out the other. i think on this matter he's actually just frustrated that he didn't take time to learn english, which, when coming from a germanic background, is understandable because we use letters that you can't hear and blah blah blah.
he enlists my help in his garage quite often. my hands are relatively small and very dextrous in comparison to his enormous meat-hooks, and i'm obviously more mobile due to both my legs being in tact. when i moved to the city he lives in recently i was kind of excited. i thought me and my g-pa could spend time bonding and he would teach me things and we would laugh and tell stories and so on and so forth. i had no idea what was ahead of me. for one, he doesn't ask for help. he basically says that it's going to happen. being that i don't want to cause ripples i just kind of go along with it. i just do whatever he says that i'm to do. he's my grandpa, and as much as i'm not so fond of the patriarchal model, he's 80. the only reason that he's even alive is that his work creates within him the will to keep living. for some reason, i respect his will to live and don't want to infringe on it or make it harder. for two, he talks to me like a total *sshole talks to his dog. he never asks for anything. he demands it and commands it. he's basically a dictator. he waves his hand in dismissal of anything i might mention that is of interest to me. when i talk about my ex, he says "forget her. all women are whores." when he needs something he says "zach you come" and when i've arrived he describes what i'm about to do for him, whether it be making him a coffee, going to get him a pack of cigarettes, or moving wood he's making a bench out of that i'm not allowed to nail together... as though i don't have a decade of experience in the trades. for three, he's racist, sexist, and blames everything on the jews. i wouldn't even call them "the jews" were it not for my constant subjection to the term. i do understand that if one looks into it, there is a heavy zionist presence in the underlying workings of the world, but f*ck. oh yeah. he also hates gays. one time he was talking about how women don't like "sex in the rectum" because their nervous system isn't wired like that (which i disagree with, but didn't say so because i didn't want to get into my sexual history with him). he said hitler used to line homosexuals up and shoot them down because what they were doing was so wrong... or whatever. i asked him if he thought that was right. he looked at me like i was out of my mind and said "well yeah" and then reiterated the fact that women aren't wired to have anal sex... as though the only reason people are gay is that they like getting f*cked in the ass. anyway. thanks for the thread trollheart. i've entered a new chapter in my life where i'm in very close proximity to a man i'm supposed to love who is made of pretty much all the things i hate. this is a good place to vent. muchos gracias. |
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I see that you've looked into anti-semitism but it sounds like you own it now. Also, I'm pretty sure gramps is gay. Straight men don't complain about women who like anal sex that much. Christ, you've somehow made me happy that some of my family are only suicidal maniacs and not bigots. Fun thread. |
Pick it apart.
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I have wonderful parents who have supported me for a long time. They took care of me after the earthquakes and I'm not longer dependent on them for money. I am an only child (which some may have already guessed) and only have one grandma left. The only trouble I've had with family was with my Aunty who liked to force her opinions on me. I've gone through periods of not talking to her for over a year. But we are fine now and she respects my life a lot more. Although, recently I saw her and she freaked out over me wanting to buy a slice because it's sooo unhealthy and I'll gain weight. Luckily my metabolism can handle it!
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:)
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Hrmm..my family I wish I could say I had a wonderful
family. I fully recognize the jealousy I feel when others tell me about their awesome family...I stay away from mine for huge blocks of time, hoping that when I resurface they will be the people I want them to be instead of the dysfunctional bat **** crazy beings they are...Well I have to say I am comfortable enough with the mb community to reveal a few things... When I was a little girl my mother passed away, I was raised by her sister...so not only did I feel like the odd girl out to make matters stranger I grew up in a cult. Which when I was younger I never knew we were different my teen years were spent abroad so I never really grasped why people in my home town shyed away from me.. When I turned 18 I left and didn't look back...But as I got older I discovered what "normal families" were like and mine became a HUGE source of pain and shame... They say you can leave this type of background that you once you make up your mind you can be free I've been "free" for about 11 years .....but I have never really been free...its always there the ghosts of the past... so I guess I have a love hate relationship with my kin... I hate them because of what I was forced to belive..but I love them because they are my blood and like it or not they are mine.... |
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Both of my granddads are bell-ends as well to be honest. One is dead and the other shares a few traits with yours. He came over from Ireland in the 50's I think, he's racist and absolutely hates the English, I'm talking a real burning hatred, he is from Belfast, so I think there is reason for it. Still stupid though. I'm closest to my dad out of everyone, look up to him loads. I remember he told me that when he was dating my mom, two of her brothers (who are wankers) beat him up. Makes me rage thinking about that, I wasn't even born, would love to punch them though. Most of my family are great though to be fair. I have two great parents and a big sister (who I didn't get on with growing up, but since we got older I realise I love her, haha) |
Okay then, time to bore you all with my family stories.
Let's start with the good --- my surviving family is split 3 good/3 bad, if you include me. For the "tl;dr" brigade: My sister has MS but she's great and I love her. For anyone who wants to spend time reading the full story... My sister as most or all of you know was struck with MS in 2001. Well, strictly speaking, she had it since the early nineties but the technology didn't exist in Ireland at that time to properly recognise or diagnose it. So in 2001 she was taken into hospital after too many falls and we got the bad news. The terrible news, the sort of news that brings your world crashing down, makes everything else unimportant and changes your life forever. She continued working until 2002 when she was let go from her job (ostensibly because she was the receptionist and they were getting the switch automated but I think they were just looking for an excuse) and so was at home all the time. This hit her very hard: she loved her job and was a real people person, but although one or two of her former work colleagues came to visit her at home that soon stopped, particularly when she began getting tired so easily, and people rarely fit their busy schedules around one person. And so the visits, which had never been that numerous anyway, trickled away and stopped, and she was left on her own. She had had, from an early age, a pretty serious drink problem. She would typically drink a bottle of wine a day, every day, seven days a week. Sometimes two. On rare occasions, three. Her balance was already bad and I tried to explain to her that drinking not only didn't help, it actually hindered her and made her more likely to have a fall. But you know how people are when they're borderline alcoholics, and she had after all little else in her life. So I dealt with that as best I could, but hated buying her the wine. I had to though, because she is very pushy and argumentative when she wants to be, and it would only have ended in a row, with a version of "You don't know what it's like!" which really, there's no defence against. I was working at the time, coming home and looking after her, and our cats. For a year or so it wasn't too bad: she could get out of bed, get herself downstairs. Then after a bit that was hard to do so she would wait till I got home, then I would help her out of bed and down the stairs. As I couldn't very well just leave her on her own I would stay with her, which basically took care of my free time. When she was ready to go to bed I'd help her off the sofa and back up the stairs, and most times she'd have had the bottle of wine so would be very unsteady on her feet. Many's the night she collapsed on the way --- occasionally on the stairs --- and had to be physically dragged like a dead weight back into the living room to wait for her legs to get the strength to bear her weight. Often this could be hours, so I would go to bed and wait to hear her calling me, then go back down (maybe 3/4 AM) and help her up the stairs. I'd then have to be up for work at 7AM. After several years of this her forays downstairs became more sporadic as her legs got weaker and weaker, and one day she just decided she could no longer face the stairs. It had got to a point where maybe every second or third day she would come down, but then it was maybe twice a week and finally she could no longer manage it at all. I felt a sense of relief --- ashamed of it but nevertheless --- because we had had one or two scares, one of which had involved her leg giving out at the top of the stairs and her pitching down, only saved by my getting behind her and holding her up while trying not to fall myself. So now she was bedbound, and when I came home I'd see to her meals and change her and whatever, then go to my room and to some extent I had my free time back, but I felt bad leaving her on her own. I would often go in and watch TV with her or just talk. Sometimes she would get very upset and although I would comfort her I would be a little annoyed, as it would be a version of "Why me? I don't want this to be happening!" I know that sounds callous, but after a while you start to realise that you have to show her there's nothing to be gained by feeling sorry for herself, and it's hard. Anyway, long story short (huh?) she had an attack of the MS --- which she still refers to as her stroke, and it may as well have been --- which essentially robbed her of the power of much movement. She used to be able to sit up on the side of her bed and feed herself. But after the "stroke" she could not sit up unaided and her dexterity deteriorated to the point that she had to be fed by me. We finally got carers in, after my having taken care of her for about four years, doing everything including helping her to the toilet, washing and changing her and washing her hair (that was not fun!) and a great degree of pressure and responsibility was taken off me. The two best things that happened were that we got a downstairs extension built last year, so that after six years trapped in her bedroom 24/7/365 upstairs, she finally has a window to look out, a bathroom she can use and all the little things we all take for granted, like being able to go to the toilet and maintain a modicum of your dignity. She also sleeps much better. Did I mention she had serious trouble sleeping? She had serious trouble sleeping, and would often lie awake the entire night, making her even more tired in the morning. Now she sleeps great. The other great thing was that she completely, and totally gave up the drink. It's nothing short of a miracle, and something I had never expected to happen, but it did. So now our lives are a lot better. She still has the MS of course, and it's not getting any better, but we're coping. Luckily we get on really well. I took the opportunity in 2009 to accept voluntary redundancy from my job of almost thirty years, to stay home and be her official carer, and it's worked out quite well really. We have some great laugh, we fight sometimes, we snap at each other, but we love each other and she knows I'll always be here for her. People marvel at what I do but I truly don't understand it: I mean, what else would I do, or should I do? I'm her brother, after all. How could I just leave her in her time of need? Sure, my life is now totally ruled by hers, but that's not her fault. Anyway, that's my sister, and obviously that's one of the good sides of my family. But there are some bastards there too. I'll talk about them in my next post, if anyone's interested. Thanks for sticking with it, if you have. |
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In 1994 my daughter was born. While her mother was in labor with her, my mother was in the same hospital, on the same floor, and I was going back and forth between them. My Mom had just had part of her lower intestine removed, and was recovering. So I'd go see my Mom for a while, and go back and check on the contractions (went for, and got a better job in the middle of all this mess too). Hanna came into the world, and my Mom was released. About three months later my Mother suffered a Gran Maul siezure, and never fully came back from it. She was in a coma for a few months, and when we took her off life support she somehow willed herself to keep living (she was a VERY strong woman). She came out of the coma, only to have the cognitive skills of a 1 year old child. I'll just leave it at that. My Step-Father, brother and me all took care of her for 13 years until she passed away in her sleep in 2007. She had only held Hanna in her hands once before her siezure, but while Hanna was growing up, we'd go see her all the time, and after a while it seemed that she knew that Hanna was a part of her. She couldn't speak, but she'd gently caress Hannas face sometimes looking deeply into her eyes as if to say "I'm so proud of you.". My Step-Father passed away last year. We hadn't spoken for some time, and my brother never let me know of his condition. I know a lot of people would be angry about that, but I love my bro and we are the only 2 left in our immediate family, so I let it go. My real Father and I (as some may know) have just been reunited after 13 years (I know, whats with the 13 years thing? I dunno.) so happy days are here again. Hanna, my brother, my Dad, and me. Thats my family. Now, if you combine my GF's family which consists of 4 girls 3 boys which all have spouses, kids, and grandkids (a grand total of 26 people), my family is kinda huge. Christmas is usually a big mess. |
I'll begin with my grandparents. They're all dead.
As for my parents, my mom is definitely a character. She raised us all on the weekdays, and took us to my dads on weekends (they separated when I was around 5). She was a waitress for the majority of the time, but for a few years she did HVAC. She has horrendous ADD, so I tend to have to repeat myself because I know she didn't pay attention. She has an insanely short temper sometimes, to the point she'll break down in tears over little things, like the computer not loading fast enough. She's had alcohol issues since her and my dad separated, but decided to quit a couple of months ago. My dad is very much a worker. He's dedicated his life to his masonry business. When he's at home, he doesn't really slow down. He'll go out and cut fire wood, he'll garden, he'll work on the house, etc. He's an outdoorsman. He loves fishing, especially fly fishing, as well as hunting. We're close, but I don't really feel like I can connect. I mean, I like being outside, so we have that in common. He definitely did a good job on teaching me that money comes from work, and so I would have to do small things around the job site to get my allowance. My stepdad I'm not really close with. He goes out on the road quite a bit since he's a truck driver, and then when he's home he's usually in his room or down in the basement drinking. My stepmom is insanely religious. She takes tons of pain pills because of an accident that happened forever ago, and as a result she's not "all there". I used to think she was drunk all the time. My sister and brother Matt I'm close with. We all get along and joke around a lot. My stepbrother Dan joined the military and was stationed overseas. Nowadays he lives down by Harrisburg and works for the government. Something with auditing. I don't know. Money is involved. He used to be really hard to talk to and always seemed aloof. He's gotten a lot better recently. |
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Spoiler for sob story that nobody cares about:
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Hi guys!
I think about family business but still have some doubts... Who can share experience and tips? |
I know a few people who started a business with their family, and unfortunately, it didn't end well. While salesforce sms might offer assistance with sales, the dynamics of working with family members can sometimes be challenging. It's crucial to establish clear communication channels and set expectations from the outset. Despite the potential hurdles, many successful family businesses thrive with effective communication and well-defined roles
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family business is not the best option for earning, but it is quite effective in the long term
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