Cool Ben Franklin Story

[Lord Larehip]

I was reading this book called "The Hellfire Club" which was a secret society in Britain in the 18th century that contained some of the most powerful men in England such as John Wilkes, the Earl of Sandwich (John Montagu) and Sir Francis Dashwood. Franklin was admitted to the club as Dashwood admired him and supported the colonists' cause. However, being an American, Franklin was somewhat of a peon in the club and frequently mocked by other members who thought Americans were bumpkins.

On one of his trips to England, Franklin was visiting his fellow members at the club when the subject of the character of Americans came up as it always did. Needless to say, the others held a low opinion of Americans as hayseeds with little in the way of intellect or morals not to mention courage. Finally, one of them asked Franklin what really do Americans actually know about anything. Franklin said, "Well, gentlemen, you are quite correct, I'm afraid. We colonists know little about the world compared to the British. We know only a little about history and religion and magic."

"And what would the colonists know of magic?" asked one.

"Not a lot, sir," Franklin replied, "except what little we have learned from the Indians."

After a pause, one member asked Franklin: "And did you learn any magic from an Indian, Franklin?"

Franklin chuckled and said, "As a young boy, an old chief taught me some of his magic but I'm sure I've forgotten it by now."

"And what did this chief teach you, Franklin?"

"A few things--minor tricks really."

"Go on, Franklin, tell us, what little tricks did he teach you?"

"Well...he taught me how to still rough waters. It was very handy during the storms. When the waves threatened to smash our little boats, we'd go get the chief and he'd calm the waters."

The other members looked at each other in amusement. "And you say he taught you to do this?"

"Well, he tried to. I was never very good at it. He could calm an entire bay, I could only calm a little pond."

They all exchanged glances again. This was too good to pass up.

"So, Franklin, do you think you could show us this magic?"

"Oh no, gentlemen, I was never very good and I haven't done it since I was nine years old. Besides where would we find a pond with rough waters?"

For a while no one spoke. Finally, someone said, "What about the River Styx, Franklin? Could you calm the River Styx?"

The River Styx, in this case, was a reference to the entrance way to the Hellfire Club. It was accessible only from the water in an underground chamber. Dashwood had had it rigged up so that bubbled fiercely appearing to be boiling. It was called the River Styx.

Franklin said, "Gentlemen, the River Styx is far too rough for my poor powers. I'm afraid I would only make a fool of myself for your amusement."

"It wouldn't be the first time, Franklin, let's go."

"Yes, Franklin, let's go to the River Styx and show us your magic!"

Franklin kept refusing, insisting his powers would surely not be up to snuff and greatly atrophied but the others insisted. Finally, Franklin, in exasperation, submitted to their entreaties and they all retired to the River Styx.

Franklin told the men to stand back while he tried to remember the spell the old chief had taught him. The men stood back throwing each other amused glances. Franklin waved his cane over the bubbling waters and began ululating in a strange voice, he broke into howls and bellows as he danced and jumped and spun about. The others could not hold back and burst out laughing. Franklin continued gyrating and speaking in funny-sounding tongues in a high-pitched soprano voice and threw himself in the dirt writhing and gurgling. The other were laughing so hard that they were crying.

Eventually, Franklin stopped, breathing heavily. The waters bubbled as fiercely as ever. He turned to the others and said, "I'm dreadfully sorry, gentlemen, but it seems I can no longer do the trick. I trust you found my embarrassing display to your liking."

"Yes, Franklin," they said through their laughter, "it was most enjoyable!"

"I don't understand," said Franklin. "I could swear I did the entire ritual perfectly. I just don't understand."

"Don't worry, Franklin," they said, "tomorrow all of England will know how hard you tried." And they laughed some more until someone said, "Look!" They all looked at the River Styx. To their astonishment, it was still! They looked over the edge into its depths. The bubbles were still coming up but were no longer breaking the surface which was as still and flat as glass! Their mouths hung open, their laughter now frozen in their throats.

Franklin exclaimed, "It worked! It just took a little time!" He spun around to face the others, "How about that!"

They immediately shrank away from him in fright. Dashwood, with a mixture of terror and delight on his face, timidly asked, "H-how...um...so how did you do that?" but Franklin stuck to his story.

Franklin wrote about this incident in his journals where he revealed how he had done it. After returning from England, he was toying with an idea of how to smooth rough waters. He built himself a replica of the River Styx and began pouring various oils into the water to see what worked. Quite by accident, he found an oil that was odorless, colorless and left behind no telltale rainbow slick on the waters surface that formed such a strong bond, even constant, raging bubbles couldn't break through. Instantly, he realized what a grand trick he could pull on the others in the Hellfire Club. He hollowed out his cane and filled it with the oil and put the metal tip back on and found it did not leak out, he could carry it about without anyone suspecting.

On a return trip to England, Franklin filled his cane before going to visit the others at the club. He sat quietly as was his usual inclination waiting for them to start in on him because they always did. When they did, he subtly worked the conversation to magic and then pretended as though he had said too much and tried to back pedal knowing the others would now keep hammering at him. He knew they'd never believe he was apprenticed in European magic so he told them it was Indian magic because he knew it was just the sort of thing they would believe. They knew nothing of the Indians but had heard so many fantastic tales that they did not know whether to believe them or not.

When he mentioned the calming of the waters, he knew one of them would eventually bring up the River Styx and that he himself would have to make it seems as though he were desperately trying to get out of it--knowing they'd never let it go. He pretended to finally give in and went to the River Styx with them. Then he put on a ridiculous, hilarious display to get them laughing good and hard and none of them noticed him removing the tip of his cane and pouring the oil into the water. Then he waited for the oil to spread over the surface, sealing it off.

He never told them how he did it saying that these were not the kind of men you revealed your secrets to.

[butthead aka 216]

ben frank was fukcin alpha and a boss

thats awesome

[anticipation]

Jackson and Jefferson were more baller but Benjy was aight too.

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by anticipation

Jackson and Roosevelt were more baller but Benjy was aight too.

Fixed

[Lord Larehip]

The Hellfire Club was a mock Satanic club started by Sir Francis Dashwood, Chancellor of the Exchequer. The order was actually the called Friars of St. Francis of Wycombe. Francis was a baronet of a place called West Wycombe.

John Wilkes, an MP, was one of the most colorful members. He eventually ended up being expelled from the Hellfire Club after an amusing incident that seemed to be the start of his rivalry with the Earl of Sandwich, a man Wilkes disliked and considered a hypocrite. Sir Henry Vansittart, a member and governor of India, had sent a baboon from India to be a mascot for the Hellfire Club. The creature arrived at the abbey (the Club's first headquarters) when Wilkes was there alone, so he took the baboon back to his home before the other monks had seen it and had a tailor make up a devil costume for it complete with horns and tail. He then snuck the creature back to the abbey. With the help of some of the menservants, he hid the baboon in a chest inside the chapel and fixed a spring to the lid and tied a string to it and ran the string under the carpet and cut a hole in the carpet for the end of the string to be at his ready. Then Wilkes left the abbey.

Later, when Dashwood, Sandwich and the other monks, Wilkes having arrived with them after most of them had been drinking and were already half-bombed, were paying mock reverence to Dashwood’s pseudo-host intoning the devil to appear to them to receive his adoration in person, Wilkes reached down to the secret hole in the carpet, took up the end of the string and gave it a good tug. The spring on the trunk lid sprang, the lid flew open and the baboon in its devil costume jumped out onto the altar. The monks were so shocked that they had not seen where it came from, the beastly devil seemed to suddenly materialize on the altar, screeching loudly. The shocked monks screamed, Dashwood collapsed to the floor in fright, and everybody began to run.

As fate would have it, the baboon leapt from the altar onto Sandwich’s back. The terrified lord ran about aimlessly trying to dislodge what he was convinced was the devil come to claim his soul. “Spare me, gracious devil!” screamed Sandwich, “You know I never committed a thousandth part of the vices of which I boasted. Take somebody else, they’re all worse than I am. I never knew that you’d really come or I’d never have invoked thee!” The creature leapt out a window and was gone. When people recovered their wits, some of the more levelheaded monks declared that the devil was really a monkey in an outfit. The others slowly realized they had been had. Dashwood was furious as was Sandwich and several others. They found the string and the chest and knew the servants must have been in on it if not the out and out perpetrators. They were brought in and confessed but named Wilkes as the one who had put them up to it. Wilkes then admitted he had masterminded the prank. Dashwood, now recovered, began to laugh and said that it had been a great joke. The others were not so forgiving. They voted Wilkes out of the Hellfire Club. Wilkes and Sandwich would spar in Parliament over various issues over the years, never having liked one another. Wilkes remained friends with Dashwood however. Sandwich never quite lived down his embarrassing blubbering display in the chapel that fateful night and he never forgave Wilkes for putting him in that precarious position. Not that Wilkes gave a fig about what Sandwich thought about anything.

Dashwood had long been a Freemason, having been inducted into the order while a young man in Florence. One of the rooms at the underground complex was done up as a Masonic lodge room. His Masonic affiliation was one of many things he held in common with Ben Franklin. Both men were fond of keeping mistresses and Franklin also had several illegitimate children. One of Franklin’s sons served as governor of the New Jersey colony and was already two years in prison for his Loyalist leanings when the Declaration of Independence was signed. Despite the fact that Dashwood appears no more lacking in moral character than Franklin and despite his brave support of Franklin while the latter was in England as well as nearly bankrupting himself supporting the colonist’s cause, Dashwood today is remembered as a depraved occultist while Franklin is remembered as a great statesman.

Because Wilkes had been more vocal in his support of the colonies than Dashwood, he is better remembered today and was memorialized in such place-names as Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania founded in 1769 where Wilkes University is located. Wilkes County, North Carolina is also named for John Wilkes as is Wilkesboro, the main city of Wilkes County. Wilkes County, Georgia is also named for Wilkes as is Wilkes Street in Alexandria, Virginia. American Admiral Charles Wilkes was his grand-nephew. Fox & Wilkes Books is also named for him. Colonists were so enamored with him that they often named their newborn sons Wilkes or John Wilkes including the parents of the man who would later assassinate Abraham Lincoln (Booth was actually a distant relative).