Originally Posted by WhateverDude

I made it to the liquor store. more beer and a now-gone fifth of vodka will be in my belly.

tfw you're too drunk to masturbate but still horny as forty flavors of hell
tfw masturbating feels weird because you're not sure if you should have a dick but the alternative is possibly never having an orgasm again
tfw you're born with a dick and are attracted to women but wanna wear makeup and skirts and so you go out looking for other women but they turn you down because you're seemingly rare and very strange
tfw you get frustrated and try to act like a man but it's just a lie and you ****ing know it