Music Banter - Be careful what you say, even on the internet; destroyed relationship

I really need to share this with you. I need to vent this and see if anyone has an opinion. And also it might be useful to some of you.

Be very careful what you say on the internet.

We like to believe that we live in a free world and we have the right to say whatever we want to say. You are wrong. There are those people that exist in your lives that can make you pay dearly for what you say.

I am trying to be as vague as possible because I don't want to imply anyone.

But I got into a conversation on the internet OVER A YEAR AGO. Where I took a particular stance that was not popular or easily defensible. Someone came into the conversation calling me names and being very confrontational. And if there's one thing I can't stand is a bully. He did state his side of the argument, but by that point I was really just so pissed that I was never going to agree with a damn thing he had to say.

Well we had some vicious back and forth about the subject, and I really did make a spectacle of myself (I behaved very poorly, but I always admitted that), and finally it was all over. Or so I thought.

You never think that someone you know (or will know) will see what you wrote online. I was wrong.

My significant other as she calls herself saw our exchange and really busted my balls over it...for a longgggg time now(still ongoing). She broke it down on a microscopic level and asked me WHY this...WHY that...Why did you say this? And do you really believe that? Your beliefs don't make any sense. I agree with the other guy.

I have asked her to please stop bashing me down about this. It's been over a year. I have asked her to please stop showing me so strongly that she is on someone else's side....that really hurts. I already admitted I behaved poorly and that I felt I was wrong.

She will not allow me to move away from that point in time where I made a stupid mistake and responded in the worst way possible. The experience is so powerful that I'm ready to take myself out of the situation altogether. I can't live like this.

I really do love her. But I can't take anymore. It hurts to hear how right she believes someone else is...I'm not asking her to believe what I said because even I don't believe what I said. I was pissed off and hurting and trying to defend myself.

But to see the person I love jump on someone else's side hurts. And she reads my words back to me sometimes in a very mocking manner. And it stings so bad that it breaks me down to tears.

I wrote a message to her before it became an issue...I said something to effect of 'Gosh I really acted a fool there. I am ashamed of that interaction. I am going to take myself out of that situation. And stay away from that place (internet site) because it's bringing the worst out of me. I am really ashamed that you saw me that way and I hope I can flush it out of my system and move on.'

I begged her to forgive me. And to please stop busting my balls over this. And just please show any kind of loyalty or forgiveness or something.

She even said to me once...'You're just mad because he got it right and you didn't.' <---ouch

As long as I am in this relationship I will never escape those words I typed on the internet. It's been a year and nothing has changed.

Seems silly that posting on the internet could have such a powerful effect on one's life.

But it's very true. So please be careful what you post and take into consideration who might see it.