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jibber 03-04-2004 10:29 PM

So today, me and a friend of mine had a pretty interetsing conversation. Its started when her boyfriend (of two weeks) told her that he loved her, completely seriously. So after we had exhausted the topic of "what the hell do i say to that!?" we started a pretty long conversation abot love itself. We came to the conclusion that love has pretty much lost all meaning. Now 'm not saying that it doesn't exist anymore, just that the term is thrown around so often, and about so many things, that the true meaning of the word has become lost. So many people confuse love with other feelings, like infatuation, lust etc. It got me to thinking, how many people who say they are in love actually are? i wonder if everyone took a REALLY hard look at the true meaning of the word, how many people would realize that what they feel is in fact something else. I mean, when you think about it, love is arguably the strongest word there is out there, so shouldn't people think about a little harder before they actually say it? it's just kind of interesting to think of, becasue once you start thinking about that, you start thinking about what love really is. I think most people confuse love with other emotions because they have heard all their lives that love is this perfect, ecstatic, butterflies-in-your-stomach experience. It can be like that at first, when your falling in love, but the thing is, that fades away, and if you truly love the person, what you're left with is someone who you share an incredible bond with, who you trust with your most intimate and personal feelings. Just thought i'd post that, cause it started a really long conversation, and i was interested to know what other people's thoughts on the subject were.

abakubub 03-04-2004 11:00 PM

I agree with you completely. When I was in love, we only actually exchanged those words twice, because we had agreed that when it was oversaid, the meaning was lost. Those two times were amazing and beautiful and enormously meaningful, and that was enough.

DJ_Jester 03-05-2004 12:39 AM

Well I think there is a difference between love and being IN love. I mean love is all those strong emotions but doesn't have to be romantic. When I was younger all my female friends and I exchanged "I love you's" when saying good bye. It's when you tell someone that you're in love with them when it actually means something. That feeling that you are connected to that one person. If they are upset you are, you feeling indestructable when they are hapy. That's when you know... when they come first. Not because you are being a good companion but because you feel the need to because you wouldn't have it any other way. I think people fall in love with the "thought" of being in love and that makes for drama. Here's a test. Put the sexiest celebrity you can think of next to your friend... if you can HONESTLY turn that celeb down for your friend... then you might be half way there. ;)

2tonelol 03-05-2004 02:12 AM

Everyone seems to have the right idea here,IE it's an over used word or that it covers a wide range of feelings and emotions.
In my younger days,being a bit of a cynic,i used to believe there was no such thing as love.I used to believe that it was lust and habit that first drew then kept couples together,i mean the lust draws them together then when that wears of the habit of being together is too hard to break(or to easy to maintain).
DJ Jester,i think you came the closest though when you said ppl are in love with the idea of being in love.
Having said that,when i also read Jibbers,
"someone who you share an incredible bond with, who you trust with your most intimate and personal feelings"
I can honestly say there is someone in this world whom i have never met in my life and still i feel i have that kind of relationship with them,boy it happened quick to!!!

Edgil 03-05-2004 02:44 AM

Love is a powerful word whose meaning is misused, missinterpreted and overused more than any word the english language. The word Love itself has become an insecurity from its transformation into a word whose connotations evaporate day in and day out... its a sick, sad, little world heh heh

Shan 03-05-2004 05:32 AM

Agree with alot of whats been said. Love is the most powerful driving force in human nature I think. I don't think the word is overused, I think its that people are more ready to say they love each other nowadays - my friends and I say it alot to each other. As for being 'in love', just because it's not necessarily long lasting sometimes, doens't mean it's not real, and I wouldn't like to put the feeling of love/in love in a box because it has no calculable definition - we love people in different ways because we have different relationships with them, there are no rules and who says it should last 'X' amount of time to be real love? There's too many ways of loving to possibly define it. There's loving yourself, other people, animals, humanity, your god, music....etc etc.. If someone (a partner) told me they loved me after 2 weeks I'd think it was very sweet of them and plausible because sometimes you can know a person and share a strong bond very quickly, however if a man said he was 'in love' with me after 2 weeks I have to say I'd just assume they were getting carried away with their strong feelings and take it with a pinch of salt! Love comes from the heart and the more we open up to it the more we find, in a million different ways.

jibber 03-05-2004 06:24 PM

shan, you make a good point, but it kind of just illustrates what i was saying. in my opinion, you can't truly love someone after only knowing them for two weeks. I think that the reason people have accepted this as a possible scenarion is because we have decreased the real meaning of the word by using it to describe so many feelings. personnally, i only have a few people in my life whom i could honestly say i love. my immediate family, and a few of my closest friends, whom i've known for years now. Of course i have many other friends, but my bond with them isn't as special, so i wouldn't honeslty say that i loved them. to me, love is a feeling that can't be developped in only a few weeks, it needs to be built on a foundation of trust and shared experiences. of course we all use the word love to describe almost everything (myslef included). i find myslef using it for everything, "i love that song, ot that outfit, ot that car." so i guess i'm kind of contradicting myslef by just writing that. however, when it comes to people, and my relationships with them, i'm much more careful when using that word. the love between two people (be it friendship or romantic) is so much stronger than the passion you experience for other things, like music or a sport. I don't think that it's a problem when people use it to define their liking of certain things, like music, hobbies, clothes, or whatever. it's when they start to use it to denote their relationships with other people that it tends to be overused. (and just to note, if this post doesn't really make sense, and there's alot of rambling, keep in mind that i'm really sick at the moment, and completely hopped up on day-quil)

winterslastbreath 03-05-2004 06:32 PM

i definately agree with you all.. it is overused. i've been with my boyfriend for 9 months.. and we're completely in love with each other. but when this idea that it can be overused and lose it's meaning... it's true. we say it all the time, of course becuz we just want to express our feelings for each other. there is a difference between being in love and loving someone. hence-i love my friends .. but i'm in love with my boyfriend. but i fully agree with all of you.. and there's no sense of repeating the things that were already said. :)

2tonelol 03-05-2004 08:48 PM

I like these descriptions ripped shamelessly from the song by the Eurythmics,love is a stranger.
And love love love
Is a dangerous drug
You have to receive it
And you still can't
Get enough of the stuff It's savage and it's cruel
And it shines like destruction
Comes in like the flood
And it seems like religion
It's noble and it's brutal
It distorts and deranges
And it wrenches you up
And you're left like a zombie

It's guilt edged
Glamorous and sleek by design
You know it's jealous by nature
False and unkind
It's hard and restrained
And it's totally cool
It touches and it teases
As you stumble in the debris

Shan 03-06-2004 07:23 AM

Oh lol you don't mean that!! :D
I do love my music because it has a powerful impact on me, it moves me and stirs feelings and memories. And I still say you can love a person after having known them a short time. Maybe not be 'in love' with them but certainly love them. I also have favourite people I just have a soft spot for that I don't see alot or even know that well, I just love them for no apparent reason! I love my animals, I loved my dog the moment I met her - that's unconditional love. Its still love, who makes the rules that if it's not falling within the guidelines then it can't be love? Only I know how I feel. The words are only overused if they're not sincere, who could get tired of hearing a genuine 'I love you'???????

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