Idk about the big ones anymore. I like the little ones you stuff in your ear like earplugs

The gummy things

I convinced my lift driver that I'm a Mormon. I told her that if we drink soda we get whipped as punishment, that to convert to Mormonism we have to sacrifice an animal at the temple to Joseph Smith and that we can't listen to music. I also told her she's going to hell because she's a sinner.

I accidentally left my phone in her car though. Found out that I have a tracker I never knew about AND an annoying alarm that tells me when it's silenced connected to my google. Would it be mean of me to continuously ring that alarm?

Yes it would so do it.

i have an interview tomorrow for a different position at my current workplace, would be making nearly double what i currently am. pray for me friends.

That’s an easy interview imo

Incessantly make the case that your work speaks for itself (even if it doesn’t lol)

Do you know how many other candidates are in house?

Good luck!

I'm sorry do I know you? You seem vaguely familiar.

no idea. the job is a little intimidating because it's completely commission pay so i wouldn't expect too many others to apply, at least not those already making more than i do.

thanks dude!

yes son, i finally came back from the store.

Good to see you, Q.
Will you stick around or is this a hit and run?

i plan on sticking around but i planned on doing that the last two times and we see how that went

From their side that means they’re risking very little by filling the position but there’s a definite loss unless your replacement is as good or better than you. If they’re thinking strictly in terms of money you need to convince them that you’re so far and away the best candidate for the new position that it’ll compensate for whatever hit they take from losing you at your current position. I know that’s really captain obvious but maybe it’s a useful thought for strategizing your answers. Just the fact that they’re interviewing you instead of just promoting you suggests that you’re going to have to basically prove you can make the sell during the interview.

https://i.imgflip.com/72t3e.jpg

yeah, pretty much going into it with that mentality. just wait until i get the ol" "sell me this pen" scenario.

Nobody uses encyclopedias anymore.

Say I’m not interested in selling you a pen. Let’s talk about ink. How much are professional looking documents worth to this institution? And what about CD s?

CDs?

See Deez Nuts Bitch!

You just added a comma on your paycheck.

Highs and lows, the phone needs to start listening to me.

Hang in there little buddy.

Yes.

Dammit jus gimme my phone, bitch.

went really well. found out there were two other applicants from within the company but i feel like i handled it about as well as i could so im hopeful.

At least they're both probably Canadian too.

You should sabotage and possibly kill the competition.

In Canada that means taking their parking space.

Rough night and rough morning mixed with a pretty big hit of depression. It's gonna be a long day. Feeling more alone today than most days. Eh.

Just remember, you'll die alone too. So it all evens out for everyone.

That is indeed a true statement. Something to look forward to!

Listen to your 10 favorite albums if possible. Might help.

But you can change your fate. Think outside the box and die with others like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.

As a totally forced interjection, I'd just like to point out that the best use of the phrase "we all die alone" ever is in the second part of this track:

(jump to 3:57 for the especially cool part!)

Crisis - Secrets of the prison house

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCvDktOmJD0

This song always makes me feel better when I'm down :)

I feel like crawling in a hole and dying now.

We're hosting an open mic at the shop in a few weeks. A dude just came in and saw the flyer and asked if he can do some freestyling rap. I said it's an open mic and he's more than welcome to do whatever. He's a middle aged white dude.

Ten minutes later, I thought he left, I was talking across the room to my boss that...

"I hope that rap guy doesn't come because I get really cringed out when people freestyle for some reason. Especially if it's bad. I hope the guy is good, he could end up being really good, but like even professional freestylers make me cringe hard for some reason. It's like that feeling when you watch a really awkward episode of the Office but it's when people rap in front of me."

Silence.

I look up. White rap dude didn't leave. He's standing right there. I almost exploded and my phase into a walking talking ironic cringe machine had finished. Only thing I said before he left was "well, I hope you uhhhhhh prove me wrong, man".

F*ck.

Well if it's any consolation, that's really hilarious.

That sh*t broken.

Freestyle rap is pretty cringe tbh


you're not wrong

Did he look like Fred Durst? That's how I pictured him when I read your story.

I'm gonna assume that's the joke as bat has done that several times.

You know what...........kinda.

If you show a bit of computer skill, it's a file named "transparent_pixel.gif" and it's literally 1x1 in size.

What makes it more cringe than written rapping?

Tbh I find most Hip-Hop to be cringe worthy these days. Can't remember the last time I listened to something and liked it.

I guess just that if someone is rambling off a bunch of stuff they're making up on the spot, it's likely to be a bunch of nonsense. I might also be confusing some freestyle with battle rap. I find the idea of two men boasting and chest-bumping at each other through improvised rhyme schemes to be hilarious in all of the worst ways.

1. Freestylers generally have a terrible sense of when to freestyle and who wants to hear it.
2. The hand gestures.