The apple pie looked good af.

It was store bought but they used fuji apples and it was good as ****.

I bought it just in case my sweet potato pies with graham cracker crusts didn't end up tasting too good since those I'm making from scratch.

I love the Thanksgiving tradition of buying store pies in case you **** yours up.

Performed three weddings in Tokyo today. In the second ceremony, the groom literally cried his contact lenses out.

To escape Florida you're going to Texas.

If you are going to Texas then Austin is perfectly fine and a decent upgrade.

I went out to Black Friday Madness yesterday with my friends and it was funny as **** seeing the evilness in people just so they can get pj pants for 4 bucks.

This guy in the parking lot even threatened a little kid. The kid WAS cursing him out though. I was just waiting for the trifecta and hoping that he mentioned that he was a Trump supporter and that those dirty latinos should go back to their own country. I just knew it was coming had I waited longer. My phone needed to charge so I couldn't record it but I kept yelling worldstar worldstar without being able to film it :( . My friend is such a snitch. She ended up calling the cops on the guy that was threatening to beat up the kid. The family took off and it wasn't going to do any good but whatevers.

Every Thanksgiving my family talks about how stupid people are to go out shopping on Black Friday but I rather enjoy the spectacle. It's like the ultimate in people watching, and you get cheap **** to boot.

42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record - The Onion - America's Finest News Source

GOAT article

House getting appraised at 3:00. Till then?

Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean!!!

I bet you've got at least one neighbor that smokes meth. Hit him up!